03-06-2019 09:37 PM
Hi there everyone. Lately I haven't been getting much out of the forums and to some extent it's actually making me a bit anxious. One or two weeks ago I took a break for a few days and it was good because it allowed me to focus on other things. I don't blame anyone on here for anything bad that has happened, but I sometimes feel like there is a bit of a clique or groups that I can't really be a part of. I usually try to tag many people in my posts, sometimes joining in on other ones but I feel like this is probably just annoying a lot of people. It's just a weird feeling I have and I find that checking the forum too much can make that anxiety worse. Lately I'm just not getting support on here as much as I used to. I appreciate that everyone is going through their own battles with mental health, but I do sometimes feel that talking about successes I have had are not helping other people and so I feel like I'm getting ignored. There have been a few times in the past week or two that have made me feel uncomfortable on here. I don't want to single people out.
I am not going to delete my account. But I am going to limit the amount of times I check the forums. When those times are will just depend on the individual day. But I'm doing this with a heavy heart because I do like it here, but I get the impression that people don't care or don't want to hear about my life and that some people are bored by it.
I hate that I am saying this, but I need to express this rather than keep it bottled up.
Thanks for listening.
03-06-2019 09:43 PM
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and I hope you will enjoy your offline time and perhaps make a little progress. I’m here if and when you get back. I’m sorry I’m not really helpful, but thank you for being there for me.
Take me good care of yourself
03-06-2019 09:47 PM
@Hamsolo01 hey, thanks for message. I think you have been a positive influence on my recovery esp when it gets tough for me. I am very grateful to you. But you need to put yourself first. Do what is best for you. I think MI is such a trial for all of us. A lot people say here I completely understand but I won't say it because it is just not me. We are all here together, caring and helping each other and get better and cope through the day. Don't worry your effects on others much. Just enjoy and get the best out for your mental well-being and care for others if you have energy. You are a friend to me. Take care
03-06-2019 09:59 PM - edited 03-06-2019 11:30 PM
It’s better out than in @Hamsolo01 😊. I don’t think you need to be sorry. I have watched you be so positive and supportive of many and be really, really thoughtful and inclusive. I love that you have shared the good and the bad, the highs and lows etc. I understand it does get lost at times. The forum can be such a strange place to navigate at times. Sometimes there are simple explanations and sometimes not so much. I struggle to find my place on here all the time. I am never really happy with my place. Sometimes I hide in the same corners of the forum and other times I try to get out and about. Im not trying to justifying my behaviour but help you understand that it is sometimes the greatest place to be where you feel heard and understood and other days feel invisible. I’m pretty sure many many members go through this. My advice is do what is the best thing for your mental health. I have lots of respect for you. It gets easy to take members for granted on here at times. For me that is true for you and for that I am sorry.
***edited to say that the forum is often a microcosm of real life. I think in real life we take people for granted at times, in real like its hard to know where we fit or belong, in real life we have days that we are invisible and other days we feel connected etc. @ suzanne helped me with that part a long time ago 😊
In the first 18 or so months I was a forum member I read every post everyday and responded to loads. The problem was that the forum became my whole life. Now I try to do what I can when I can without guilt (not working yet). I am erratic but trying to find a balance that works for me. Maybe it’s working out what is a balance and what works for you. I truly wish you the very best what ever it is that works for you. 💜🤗
03-06-2019 10:05 PM
I am sorry you have had bad moments.
I always like you posting, but I take a back seat on your thread, as I feel a bit old. I thought you had good rapport with @Zoe7 @TAB and @outlander and have been a great support to many others. I learned from you also..I like your honesty and openness and you give me insight and hope in your generation. There are times in our lives for different things.
Hugs to you for whatever you decide.
03-06-2019 10:08 PM - edited 03-06-2019 10:09 PM
I'm sorry you feel that way @Hamsolo01 . I have only ever been in the wings, never feeling I have much to offer you, but nonetheless following your story and taking an interest. I apologise for not more actively supporting you. But you always seemed to me to have a lot of solid support here.
You have clearly given this some thought, and hopefully know whats best for you. Therefore, I support and accept your decision to leave or spend less time on the forums.
I would welcome hearing from you any time you decide to pay us another visit. Please tag me with any updates.
Please take care and I wish you every sucess in your search for work.
03-06-2019 10:08 PM - edited 03-06-2019 10:25 PM
im sorry that your feeling this way, i dont really have much to add to what others have said but im glad your not closing your account. Take care, and come back if/when you like. your always welcome too.
good luck with your interviews and things your working towards. hoping it all works out for the best
03-06-2019 10:12 PM
Hi @Hamsolo01 👋
I hope you don’t feel I have been ignoring you ..... I have been struggling a little bit with life balance, with a lot going on in my life at the moment. I get around the forums as much as I am able to, and often just leave a Support tag.
It may be the same for others here. Please don’t take it personally. Good news and successes are always great to hear.
If it helps you to check in less as your irl successes increase, I am really happy for you, but I do love seeing you here and reading your thread when I can. You’re a great forumite ❣️
03-06-2019 01:25 AM
Hey @Hamsolo01 I'm sorry too for how you are feeling. I've mostly been active on the one thread (A Long Rave) for the last few months - didn't have the capacity to spread myself around much. But I do try to always respond if someone tags me from anywhere on the forums. I do care about you, I've just been doing my best as and when I was able. I'm happy to listen and support you any time if you tag me. You are getting quite a few responses to your post so maybe you're more cared for than you think.
And my involvement will step up a few notches as of being designated a Community Guide - I plan to get around more on the forums and that's a comittment.
It seems to me that for at least a few of us who've been around the forums since nearly the beginning we have had times where we had to have boundaries about our involvement, make choices on where and when to interact that shield our own MH issues. Loads of ppl on the forums wax and wane in their involvement.
Hope you feel encouraged by the responses you're getting, but absolutely no pressure about whether or not to step back for a time. Wish you well xx Eth
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