Coming to terms with reality

[Former-Member]

@Adek @eudemonism

thank you for your reply

yes our environments are so very different

I have learnt something today that no matter which part of the world we live in...we can find solace in our environment...I knew that in my mind....you have brought that into reality

also how we each deal with our daily dilemmas is different of course yet we all have the common factor somewhere inside of us...  that we want to improve our situations..others can't do it for us they can only provide guidelines...suggestions

we have to dig deep and find that raw energy...instinctive survival drive and try again....when we weary...we listen to our bodies...then and this is the hardest part...avoid procrastination..(definitely me) avoid avoidance...try something different

there is so much unknown..undiscovered in each of us...this I believe is the essence of being

ooh ...ouch...very deep again....apologies

I want to hear your views and efforts no matter how minimal....thanks for listening

[Adek]

@eudemonism @Former-Member..the other day when i laughed..it was not eudemonism whom i was laughing at. Its the mirror image of whom i was 10 years ago i was laughing at. I had been gross with everybody and complaining at everything around me..my psychiatrist, counselor, friends, mother, siblings, exhusband.. Everybody and everything seemed wrong...having plots against me, talked bad about me... disliked me etc until i discovered from a workshop that our minds are actually a huge and powerful magnet. What we attract..is what we have in our minds.

Since then..i started attending seminars and forum on selfhelp, mindfulness etc and the fact that we cant be at peace with the surrounding until we are at peace with our inner being. Then i began to do a lot of reflection on my past, learn to live the present, plan for hereafter..and beginning to look at whatever comes our way as a gift, a test..not to invade or degrade us..but to make mankind and life colorful. Only the fittest will survive and win his battle. And i hope we are one of them.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Adek, @eudemonism, @Former-Member, @Neo 

how are you today my friends

[eudemonism]

Hi @Former-Member and @Adek and anyone else who has joined in or been reading...

How are your thoughts, actions and feelings treating you?

Anything good been happening you'd like to share?

How are you managing?

I think im a very sensitive person. And go into bad thinking cycles very easily which is hard to break free from. And there is a recognized list of bad thinking patterns and its all me through and through. Plus, i miss ques and urges. And feel unmotivated and not real enthusiastic about the options in front of me. And my body just follows along.

I'd be getting out and about as much as possible if i was yous. And also retreating and enjoying solitude and the few simple and easy joys that life has to offer. Its hard i know. Keeping contact with a few select people also helps. For a phone call here and there with someone who accepts, understands, listens and supports. Not totally relying on any one of them. But knowing you have go to relationships when things get tough. Or on the contrary. When things are good. And also using the professional supports that are in place to help you live a better life. And other self managed coping strategies. It all adds up. Plus if there's a relationship/s on your mind that's causing you problems. Better to sort them out then be stressed about it day after day. Cause i think we need a variety of people in our life. That we're all on good terms with.

Slow and steady wins the race. Life is a marathon not a running race. Take day bye day...

I suppose life is a steady decline once you've hit a certain age. And its definitely not perfect or a fairytale for anyone. Probably the opposite now i think about it. But its good to get some good stuff out of life from time to time. I myself find it easy to hesitate, procrastinate, double question and then do nothing and just spend time with myself. But as humans are. We need something to do with our lives. We need relationships. Goals to achieve. Meaning. Purpose. Significance. Etcetera.

Otherwise what would we do?

With myself. its a juggle up between. Be a home body or follow through with my urges. Both are as hard as one another when i think about it.

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism

I love your response...you have some ambition and design in your words

yes you are so right in saying relationships are important in our lives as well as finding peace in solitude...being at peace with ourselves and enjoying our own company..you could say our relationship with ourself

relationships of course encompass enjoyable time spent between two beings...age, gender, race, culture making no difference

procrastination is my biggest issue...I am working on that

you mentioned thinking patterns...programmed thinking....working on this too laugh...ongoing exercise...is working though...as you say slowly slowly...anything negative that pops into my head is now refuted and I am finding that these thoughts are less frequent..well worth putting into practice

I read something where it was explained that thoughts are made up of words by ourselves...thoughts come usually as a result of feeling and vice versa...all manufactured by ourselves from our imaginings,interpretations way back...these same thoughts pop up like bacteria and grow the more we feed them.....

create new thoughts with positive meaning...other side of the coin

yes all sounds like codswollup..psychology mumbo jumbo...some of that stuff ...put into your own words works if we are willing to work at it...not saying easy...slowly slowly

one more thing ...."life is a steady decline once you hit a certain age" definitely disagree with this comment..not offended or anything silly...just exercising my right to disagree..

life actually becomes better...as we age we care less about what other people think because we realise that is part of their issues,,their programmed thinking stuff...

external circumstances...illness..loss all can set us back a bit....not for too long though...we just take time out...rest...be kind to ourselves...then back out there

you do have much to look forward to that you have not discovered or even thought of yet..I know that your day to day experiences are very tough...you  will learn to adapt...you will  develop different ideas of what you want....slowly slowly...you will find a life that you like...keep on believing in yourself and read over and over what you have written here

apologies again for length and depth..I just know that you have so much going for you

speak again

[Former-Member]

How are your thoughts, actions and feelings treating you?

I too am constantly thinking about things,  delving deep....I am now practising time out from this..telling myself that I do not have to be so intense all of the time

you mentioned being sensitive....yes I too am very sensitive...born a sensitive  child....used to think that this was not good..another reason to think negatively about myself....I now know  that I was so wrong..very wrong...the world needs more people like us...we are known as empaths...

Anything good been happening you'd like to share?

heavy rain and winds have stopped so that I can go for a walk again..vital

good news about a friend with lung cancer....the nodes have shrunk considerably with the treatment...took her some flowers to see how she was...she gave me the great news!!

How are you managing?

I am managing well...working on what I said in the previous response..feeling positive and have some good energy

your turn

 @eudemonism @Adek  @Neo 

[Former-Member]

thanks @Shaz51 for asking

hoping that you and mr shaz are taking it easy and your health is improving xx

[eudemonism]

Yea thanks @Shaz51 and hello @Neo ...

And @Former-Member its all very true! (Unfortunately ) i feel i have a window of opportunity to make each day work for me. And when I feel overwhelmed because i aint looked after myself. Who is too blame? I, try to prepare myself and observe what is and isn't working for me. And make the right changes i need to. So i can become happy, healthy and contented. Have peace of mind. Not feel overwhelmed. Etcetera... have meaning, purpose and all that business.

but what youre talking about is something i definitely notice i do.

The thing about our thoughts being made up of our own words... and there being a flipside... it happens to me everyday! Every 5 minutes. Every half an hour. Every hour. Every morning and night. What remains is my instinct to survive. Its in everything i do.

And what do i do? Comfort zone. Same old thing. Focus on things im in control of. And there is no denying that it is festering within me! Because one too many times. Ive let good opportunities walk straight on bye.

Dealing with people in real life is difficult for me to do. Because i analyse it. And work out what its "all about " and the answers are hugely disheartening. Too the point of becoming very hesitant and stand offish to make connections with people in real life. And the alternative is solitude. What comes with solitude. A close connection with yourself. What comes with a close connection to yourself? Lots of questions in a search for answers and understanding. What comes with answers and understanding? The drive to do something about the suffering youre experiencing. Which has its limitations. And can sometimes end badly.

So what ive been trying to do. Is give myself more control over this. Through assertion, security and confidence. Which is hard to do. But, bye midday. Its usually a case of bunkering down for the day. And waiting for morning again. Because the push it takes to reengage with reality and act of the urges outside of my door. Is just too hard. Especially when the elements are against me. And there that disappointing feeling. Of knowing. What to expect. No matter what i push myself to do...... so its kind of like being heartbroken.

Write as much as you want to me. It really doesnt bother me if its psychological mumbo jumbo. I went off the deep end years ago. And have been treading water ever since.

And @Adek im sorry for getting snappy at you a few posts ago. I took what you said the wrong way. And i apologize...

Just had the urge to visit a friend. Then i have flash backs of what its like. And think. Nah...... i put it off and resort to other things.

[eudemonism]

A facing fears approach too a goal achieving attitude maybe whats best for me. Because i think we process all the fear based stuff when it comes to wanting too achieve anything. No matter how big or small it maybe. And the reward gets put to the side. And we focus on solving fears that aint true. The flight, fright, freeze or fight theory. And our own thoughts. Made up of our own words. Knows all the tricks of the trade. And what games to play.

The fear of feeling bad is a great one.

[Former-Member]

hello there @eudemonism

great to hear back from you

I just pushed myself out of procrastinating....feels good

Yes what you replied makes sense

it is all  very well for me..who is not in your shoes...to suggest this and that...mumbo jumbo...you are the one living your life though

I actually think that we both think similarly perhaps just put in our own words makes it come across differently which of course the downside of language

you said in the afternoon you slip backwards....so in the morning you are achieving some stuff then...that is half a day...that is actually heaps..some days I achieve nothing

i am going to suggest a list....oh no not the blessed list... my husband hates them and so do my sons

they can help and worth a try....

firstly think about what you really would like to do...go to the beach...catch a bus somewhere different and check out everything that you see on the way and when you get there..this sounds childlike but is actually what mindfulness is on about

also pushing yourself to do things that you wouldn't normally do

make a note of what you have achieved over a period of a week that you wanted to do....write down everything...little things are sometimes more important than major things....try to add to the list first thing in the day whilst you are feeling more energetic

at the end of the week surprise yourself

what do you think? have I lost the plot?

tell me your views....honestly looking from positive angle