Yea thanks @Shaz51 and hello @Neo ...

And @Former-Member its all very true! (Unfortunately ) i feel i have a window of opportunity to make each day work for me. And when I feel overwhelmed because i aint looked after myself. Who is too blame? I, try to prepare myself and observe what is and isn't working for me. And make the right changes i need to. So i can become happy, healthy and contented. Have peace of mind. Not feel overwhelmed. Etcetera... have meaning, purpose and all that business.

but what youre talking about is something i definitely notice i do.

The thing about our thoughts being made up of our own words... and there being a flipside... it happens to me everyday! Every 5 minutes. Every half an hour. Every hour. Every morning and night. What remains is my instinct to survive. Its in everything i do.

And what do i do? Comfort zone. Same old thing. Focus on things im in control of. And there is no denying that it is festering within me! Because one too many times. Ive let good opportunities walk straight on bye.

Dealing with people in real life is difficult for me to do. Because i analyse it. And work out what its "all about " and the answers are hugely disheartening. Too the point of becoming very hesitant and stand offish to make connections with people in real life. And the alternative is solitude. What comes with solitude. A close connection with yourself. What comes with a close connection to yourself? Lots of questions in a search for answers and understanding. What comes with answers and understanding? The drive to do something about the suffering youre experiencing. Which has its limitations. And can sometimes end badly.

So what ive been trying to do. Is give myself more control over this. Through assertion, security and confidence. Which is hard to do. But, bye midday. Its usually a case of bunkering down for the day. And waiting for morning again. Because the push it takes to reengage with reality and act of the urges outside of my door. Is just too hard. Especially when the elements are against me. And there that disappointing feeling. Of knowing. What to expect. No matter what i push myself to do...... so its kind of like being heartbroken.

Write as much as you want to me. It really doesnt bother me if its psychological mumbo jumbo. I went off the deep end years ago. And have been treading water ever since.

And @Adek im sorry for getting snappy at you a few posts ago. I took what you said the wrong way. And i apologize...

Just had the urge to visit a friend. Then i have flash backs of what its like. And think. Nah...... i put it off and resort to other things.