Coming to terms with reality

[eudemonism]

They have pushed me into a corner. And poked and prodded me. Ùntil i have broken and given up.

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism

I feel so sad and at the same time angry about the way you feel that you have been treated.

There needs to be far more compassion and caring shown within the mental health industry.

You are right when you feel angry about not being listened to or heard.

There are also too many workers who treat patients indifferently and this needs to be addressed and taken seriously.

There are however, some very caring, wonderful staff too who get forgotten overlooked and all of their hard work might even go unnoticed.

It might seem as though no one cares but just getting to know you from reading your posts, I feel certain that there would be some who have met you who have recognised that you are an intelligent, bright, caring young man with a good heart.

How long have you been back on your medication?

I need to read your later reply so will end this here

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism

I am so glad that I read this post.

You have articulately stated, categorically how it feels to have your life ruled and  governed by your mental illness.

I want to write so much more and will. So please be patient with me,  I need to go out now and will be able to respond later this evening.

I dont want to rush my response. It is very important to me to say how I felt when I read your words.

I will be back

[Neo]

Gosh that was pure Kindness.....

[Neo]

Your a funny wombat...with a stoical Altitude....lol NEO...

[NikNik]

Hi @Neo
I don't think we have 'met' before - so welcome to the Forums!
I'm not quite sure who your last post was to, but as a tip for the future, if you use the @ symbol before typing another member's name, it will send them a little notification to let them know. Hope this helps!
Nik

[Former-Member]

Hello @eudemonism

Sorry that this is so late.

I had a busy day....just wanted to respond with something as I said I would

I can only imagine ..actually I can't begin to imagine how hard it would have been for you to go back on your medication and experience strong side effects

you certainly have goals, daily plans sometimes when you first awake as you mentioned

you also explained how you are aware of your change in moods, motivation, also conversations in your mind, thoughts

that is a great awareness of self and another indicator of your intelligence 

the hardest part at the moment being energy levels as in very little energy for a short time?

do you belong to a library....I think I remember you saying you enjoyed reading?

I was talking with my psychiatrist about a book on schizophrenia and he told me about one that was Good because it was written with positive ideas for patients and families, friends, carers. Let me know if you are interested in looking to see if the library can get it in and I will give you the details.

time to sleep

speak again soon

[Adek]

Hi @eudemonism. Sorry am kinda occupied till end of month..its festive season in our country. With the girls home for semester break i have programs lined up for them and myself. Just came home after 2 days seminar outstation. They made baked pasta just now. Tomorrow another seminar and a wedding invitation. Had to keep them occupied so we dont get bored of one another and start fighting each other. No..its not that Pro- thingy. I only had that for a week 17 yrs ago and it was of no significance for my case. I think that works for depression..not my rapid cyclic BP2D mixed episodes. About your dog..perhaps thats a good idea. I found it a great relief after i ended my online rabbit biz. It took up too much energy and time especially after the kids all left for university. Now i can go anywhere anytime without worrying about rabbits at the back of my head. Yes.. especially when my depressive mode is back..i tend to avoid socializing to the extend of deactivating my fb account, switch my hp off and stay indoor for weeks. Few times my son, sister and friend came knocking at my door i ignored them too. I just cant face or talk to anyone in that period cuz everything that came to my tongue will be disastrous. So...its best i keep them safe from me and my swings.

[Former-Member]

good morning @eudemonism also anyone else joining his thread

how has your day been so far?

is the weather being sensible allowing you to go for a walk?

Sun is out here but still strong winds around....we have had gale force winds and heavy rain over the last few days

I too am working very hard at pushing myself out of the door and going for a walk

I will be observing gum trees ..horses..cows...alpacas...miniature horses forgotten the name of their breed...saw goats the other day they are new and of course magpies....I talk to them all..

I am a regular mrs dolittle

let me know what you see on your walk...it doesn't matter what it is...an exercise in distraction and calming with nature....animals etc...real life without society issues

speak soon I hope

[Adek]

Hello @Former-Member. I am already enjoying myself just by reading your daily experience. I closed my eyes for a while and can almost see the things around you. I visited Queesland many years back and i do have the photographic memory of the sheep and goats and i even milked the cow and ride the horse and the ranch that we visited. Then..the koalas, wallabies, dolphines, kangaroos...yes, your country is alive with nature and livelihood and the weather is nice for walking. I remembered the sand and sea at Gold Coast was also cool to my touch.

As for me..i live in the city, on a hill in a highrised building. Rabbit rearing i did it indoor, commercial rabbit rearing style the way i learnt from the course....only up to just 5 seniors..the rest were juniors due to space limitation. Its almost impossible to rear rabbits outdoors here i think..cuz the weather in our country is hot and humid. Walking...most of us do indoor...on treadmills...at home or the gym..air conditioned. We have a gym downstairs, sauna room and swimming pool, a small playground and reflexology walking track and a badminton court but still..the weather makes it uncomfortable for me to enjoy them day or night.

Therefore...i cant talk much about nature but i opted in finding solace in religious practices and mindfulness...and trying to get by...with or without the society on and off by understanding my swings and keeping alert on its trigger factors timely and coming about with wellness plan accordingly. Am not trying to be mrs know-it-all @eudemonism, but so far..this is my only way to survive my days and nights as time passed.