Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Early night here, I think @TAB 

2 more days for you. 👍

Are the meals good there? Would be nice having meals cooked. 
Good idea seeing gp. Could be med reaction. Did you google?

[Former-Member]

You know @Former-Member 

I thought some matters like past didn't bother me anymore.

But tonight I was triggered. I'm very tired. I've taken time to try and calm without feeling that same feeling. Of deep hurt.

To live through abuse takes new learning of trust. Possibly it never leaves. 
Sometime back I was told I had emotional dysregulation. I've worked hard to be where I am today. Hurt never leaves. It just doesn't go as deep. I think this trigger tonight was to make me realise I don't need to live up to anyone else's agenda. I've had to fight for where I am. I'll be damned if anyone wants to play with me again like that. 
I'm not unhappy. The lady at lifeline asked if I was s*****? I did not feel so. Then the trigger. Then I knew what I have to do. 🙂

Tomorrow is a new start. I'll try again. 
Thank you for kind words. ❤️

[TAB]

meals hit and miss, some brilliant, I mostly get to take to room as allowed to with covid, well nearly had coughing fit in mess one night, not a good covid-look lol I held my breath pulling faces to got out door lol

yes, seems med reaction  getting boring re getting meds sorted, I should just get half fit and get off them, not working atm anyway think yes googled @Former-Member 

could have been asleep

well today and tomorrow with early finish. Well. Be so glad to see messy old house, hopefully with car still in driveway lolo

[Former-Member]

Good morning @TAB 

One day to go is great! 
I slept for two hours I think. I was so tired but I think my body was detoxing they weekend out of me.

Then this morning I woke scared. 😔

Silly. In reason I can handle.

Well today is going to seem much the same for me.

Hopefully my body starts regulating temp soon. 
Have a good day Tab.

[Meowmy]

@TAB Hey Tabby, hope you are feeling okay. Hope early Dr appointment will be important.  A bit more, you will complete the swing of work. @Bill16 Prayers for you both. Take care. 

[Former-Member]

Sorry you were triggered @Former-Member 

I don't know that anyone can totally "get over" an abusive relationship. I think we have to learn ways to cope with it. Finding things that distract and help us relax. 
It does get easier, but unfortunately perhaps the scars will always be there. 
Definitely hard to trust again. 
I am guessing that you might have CPTSD.  
I know for myself that being in a marriage is extremely difficult. Triggers every day to overcome. I don't know of a marriage that has lasted when one has ptsd. 
I'm still here in the same house, but as separate as possible. We mostly do our own thing. I don't feel well enough to leave, plus this is my home and I really don't want to leave my home, that I worked hard to get. I did google re renting. Way too expensive. 
Plus, h and I are good friends and he's ok with that. I've put up boundaries with what I won't put up with. 
How would it go if you put up boundaries with p? If you said you wouldn't put up with the way he treats you, how would that go?

Ive hardly had any sleep either. Had to take prn to calm down the anxiety. I do understand. Finding it hard to write a proper reply. Want to say the right thing, just too tired. 
Will chat more soon. Have to get ready soon for another appointment. Yay! Not. 😳😜

💞☕️

[Former-Member]

Yes, it will be good for you to get home @TAB Not long now. 
I'm trying the same. To get fit. Am eating healthy, to avoid meds for high cholesterol etc...... I just need to stop the drinking and I'll be fine lol

Gotta go and get ready. Appointments again. 😺☕️

[Former-Member]

Was just thinking @Former-Member 

What helped me was talking about my traumas, cried heaps etc. Wasn't easy, but it helped me release negative emotions. Just a thought, if you're comfortable doing that with a friend or counsellor.

Only do so, if you're comfortable with it though. We're all different.
You might have already done that. 

Happy to listen here if you're comfortable with sharing. Up to you. Take care. 🥰

I still have a way to go. 😳🤔😍

[Former-Member]

I hope I haven't upset you @Former-Member 🥰

[Meowmy]

@Bill16 @TAB Hey cool friends, just got home after work. Reheating some food. Feeling okay. Hope it continues. Take care.