Lived Experience Forum

[Alessandra1992]

hey @kato gee you are really kicking some serious goals..how fantastic that you said No even though it felt strange to do so! As you get used to saying No it becomes easier to do.

I have been a bit busy of late but I just wanted to say how thoughtful your posts are and supportive of other people all over the Forum..

You know, changing ways is a really tough road but so worth it as it allows for real progress in other areas of your life!

So glad you are working with a psychologist and that you are even open to seeing the psychiatrist..Awesome! 

With regard to this neorological psychological assessment, I haven't doen one but if its purpose is to improve your recoevery journey by finding out interesting things about you, then why not? Maybe it is also to ensure there's nothing else going on that needs some attention, our brains are amazing organs..

Take care and keep on posting!!

I am getting busy at work and family commitments so am stepping back from the forums over the next few weeks, but I plan to get on at least once a week!!

[PeppiPatty]

How can Kato manage the self talk?

[kato]

I don't think I can afford to have a lapse tho,
if I succumb to my wants it will be breaking a promise to my parents.....
I can't do that to them after how supportive they have been.
my psychologist is really good and understands about self medicating so I will hopefully discuss with her on Thursday possible ideas to put in place to help not succumb....

I hope I can make it to Thursday and can see my way through. It is getting harder tho as my mood keeps climbing I am only just keeping a lid on it.
this is the first time I have felt this way in 2months
wish me luck lol

[-karma-]

@PeppiPatty managing self talk is about having realistic expectations, so that when relapses do occur it is possible to normalised these, by saying things like, 'it's ok, a lapse is to be expected, Ive learnt from this and I'm moving forward', as opposed to, 'i'm a failure, it's all ruined, what's the point, i might as well give up now'. It's about challenging the unrealistic and false messages we send ourselves. CBT is especially good at this, as it is about changing how we think. I once saw a counsellor who said to counter act every negative thought, it would need to be replaced with a positive phrase 1000 times a day, for 1 week. Sounds a lot doesn't? You break it down into 100's counting on your fingers, ten times, that's one set. This is easy to do while driving for example. Then do another set at another time, until all ten sets are complete, you've done 1000!

[-karma-]

@Kato, definitely, this is a good question to ask!

Distraction techniques could be useful in the meantime... this will be individual to you, knowing yourself and what works. I hear that you've made a promise to your parents...I think it would be interesting to present some statistics to them on abstinence, self medicating, and lapses. Maybe your psychologist could provide you with some easy reference material? This way expectations are more grounded, and less fatalistic, (all or nothing), making for an easier, and more realistic road ahead.

I do wish you luck, every bit

[Uggbootdiva]

Pls let us know what/how the neurological assessment goes. I always wonder where I end and my illness begins, so an underlying personality disorder is an interesting concept.

Big big congrats for saying no. Every time you do it, it will get easier, like exercising the muscle. And yes sideways not backwards.

[kato]

Thanks karma,
I think they are aware that I might lapse.... altho the promise I made to them was actually a promise I made myself in my own head
they have heard me tell them I can't honestly say I won't use again egh I hate that word... never thought of myself like that but eh.... as you all might be able to tell I am getting all excited again lmao
my posts get rambling so apologies....
I don't have unrealistic goal I just made that promise as the line in the sand not to do anything under thier roof.... lol
well I am now clean just over 1month or maybe 2 I have lost track of time
Music is really helping me manage my moods I wonder if that is the same for everyone or some...
interesting thing I wrote somewhere else that I almost always here music playing indescribable music I can never place the song or lyrics but almost all the time I hear different music and if I pair actually music similar to it ir helps my mood either pick up if low low or bring it back down if spiking high
it is odd
sorry again for the ramble

[Alessandra1992]

You can do it @kato, but don't stress yourself out as a result! These things rake time and practice RO build new habits and ways of thinking. Have you considered joining a self help group like narcitocs anonymous? Or a group like those run by SHARC Self Help Addiction Recovery Course?
Credit yourself every time you say no, and when you give up a bad habit its helpful to replace with one u enjoy..so blog here or draw, sing, call a friend unconnected to your scene

[Uggbootdiva]

@kato Line in the sand is very significant. It's important as you made it for yourself. It's a great place or reference point for recovery. *sigh* hang in there. You are a great person to have as part of this forum.

[kato]

Thanks sandy,
I'm not stressing about it.... lol well maybe a little.
I am aware it might happen I'm just not planning on letting it lol
I have been asked the question by my psychologist and gp and both times I was truthful saying "I can't say never again because I very well might"

It's a funny thing I look back at the last 6months and don't see the issue of drugs there however a mate saw me for the first time in months and commented that I looked healthier in the face.... my parents have also made the same comment.
it's funny I didn't see the way I was but hearing it from them made me realise that I must have gotten pretty ordinary/looking worse than I thought.
I am thankful that I can have somewhere to ramble.
I only ramble when I am up and heading up I can foresee a night of vwry little sleep but I might get some stuff done lol take advantage of my motivation lol
I might just do some research and sleep when I am tired
I will have to change the music I am listening too.

In regards to a group I am yet to admit to myself what I was or am in regards to illegal substances plus I get nervous around people and I haven't even started properly dealing with trust issues but in the future when I am ready to admit certain things about myself..... I will venture to a couple of places to deal with gambling, drugs, and any other fun things I discover about myself
but thank you sandy and everyone here for your support it means alot to me
sandy - have an enjoyable couple of weeks don't be a stranger ok