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Evie1
Senior Contributor

I can’t stop self harming

I can't stop self harming I'm very scared I feel like I'm a horrible person it hurts help me stop 

12 REPLIES 12

Re: I can’t stop self harming

Hi @Evie1 , I'm sorry you're in such a painful place. I am wondering if you have a psychologist or counsellor who can help with strategies when you feel like self harming?

 

And are there any distraction techniques that work for you?

Re: I can’t stop self harming

Morning @Evie1 ☀️

 

I'm sorry to hear you're battling with these urges to self harm Smiley Sad It sounds like you're feeling so scared and may be judging yourself a lot for having these urges.

 

We're sitting here with you today. You are worthy of good support so please do reach out offline also if the urges are becoming overpowering Heart

 

Re: I can’t stop self harming

Hey :/

 

You are human, and you feel. Everyone does, and so it is not your fault and never will be for having these urges to harm yourself. I think you need to know that. You are definitely not a horrible person for feeling things and feeling the need to hurt yourself. But nonetheless, this is still very concerning and I hope that you will let people help you, okay? Smiley Happy

 

I'm no expert, no psychologist or counsellor. Nothing of the sort, but I really want to help you, along with many others that come across your post. I'm just a human, who feels also, and so I can understand and empathise with you.

 

First of all, I think that when people are hurting, they tend to blame themselves and judge themselves a LOT, which isn't helpful at all. But we still do it. I do it too. From what I'm hearing, you are judging yourself or blaming yourself for thinking about harming yourself and acting on it. Hopefully I got that part right. But I think that you deserve to treat yourself better, which can be really hard, and I totally get that. I really, really do. But I think that learning how to treat yourself well, regardless of whatever state your in, is an essential life skill. You deserve to treat yourself well even in the darkest moments of your life, when you need yourself the most. We can't just treat ourselves well when we're happy, right? We need to show ourselves a healthy dose of love and compassion all the time, in every situation. But how do you do that? Well, I think that it takes some introspection and big-picture thinking, so let me guide you in this, if that's alright.

 

As you're sitting behind your phone or computer screen, step back a bit. Not literally, but if you actually need to step back with your feet to help you in this, go ahead Smiley Happy Now, think: Why do I supposedly hate myself? And if you find a reason why, ask yourself, is this why I'm harming myself? Why am I harming myself?

 

Now, dealing with mental health issues can be really isolating. We often think that people don't understand, don't care, are much happier than ourselves and don't know how to help us. But I think that these are the very thoughts that stop us from getting help, because we have already doubted others' capacity to help us. We deny help because we are in such a low place, we have so much pent up frustration, sadness and anger, we find it hard to help ourselves, how can others possibly do that for us?

 

I want you to imagine yourself in a bubble, with your own thoughts, maybe some of the one's I listed above; I want you to imagine all of that inside your bubble. Now try and burst it. Again, if it helps, use your finger to pop the imaginary bubble. I'm telling you to do this because a lot of our thoughts don't reflect reality, but it's understandable why we have such thoughts and why we believe them. It's understandable to have thoughts that tell us that we're not wanted, not loved, not this, too much of this, etc. But the thoughts themselves aren't really important, it's what they stem from. These thoughts are a manifestation, a symptom of something bigger. So, and this is me assuming here, but why do you think you have these thoughts? Is it because you say you hate yourself? 

 

Hopefully this could help you. Now, quickly before your bubble forms again, I want you to know and understand that I care about you and don't want you to hurt yourself. I promise you that. And I'm not the only one that wants to help you, people study and dedicate their lives to helping you get better. I'll say that again, people study and spend their lives helping people get better. People who don't care wouldn't do that. People do care, and that's probably why you came on here, right? Because even if you tell yourself that people don't care, you still hope that they do. And it was right for you to come on here and express how bad you feel, because you've come to the right people.

 

Thank you for telling us how you feel, that's so brave, trust me.

Re: I can’t stop self harming

I wanna stop I feel so worthless and stupid 

Re: I can’t stop self harming

@kelsy @Jupiter @NatureLover  

 

I feel alone like I don't deserve help

Re: I can’t stop self harming

Hi, everyone deserves help, but I know at times it can feel that way. please stay safe and link in with the supports and numbers provided here if things change and escalate for you. These are difficult times. Take care

Re: I can’t stop self harming


@Evie1 wrote:

I feel alone like I don't deserve help


Hi @Evie1 , you definitely deserve help. How are you doing this morning?

Re: I can’t stop self harming

@NatureLover  I'm feeling lithe same just low 

Re: I can’t stop self harming

Sorry to hear, @Evie1 ...I really hope you start to feel better soon.

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