Lived Experience Forum

[May14]

Hi! Obviously I'm new here and thought I have nothing left to lose so I'll give this a try. 

To be honest, I feel pretty desperate. Feels kinda strange to admit that to anyone. I assume that's why they make anonymous forums like this.

A brief overview;

I currently find myself 'stuck' here in Aus on a working holiday visa, due to the covid situation. My home country is pretty bleak and even my parents are telling me not to come home if I can. It's been pretty damn hard. I miss my home and my family so much, more so due to waiting out the storm. It also doesn't help that my very supportive partner just doesn't seem to understand. He doesn't understand my worries and anxiety. 

Im undiagnosed, but Im not sure how it will help me if I saw a GP. I can't realistically do that in my situation. But I feel like my worlds started to fall apart. I'm sad, I feel like I'm lagging if that makes sense? Like I'm slower than normal at everyday tasks, or even responding in conversation. 

My biggest concern is my worry. It's destroying me. I look for something that isn't even a problem, then incessantly Google answers. It's madness but I can't stop. If it's not my crooked teeth, or do I have cancer, or my visa, or will an apple seed hurt me.... I know it's mad but I can't stop. Then I worry so much it keeps me up at night and I can't eat. I also find myself approaching a bridging visa which, quite frankly, is an anxiety waiting to begin.

I feel crazy. It's hard to find ways to cope. Maybe an anonymous rant will help. Who knows. 

[TideisTurning]

Hi @May14 & welcome to the Forums. It sounds like a really hard situation, being separated from family and home. I can undertsand your anxiety too and I'm sorry to hear of all you're going through. Feel free to keep reaching ot here as needed. I hope you'll find more of the support you're looking for. Take care 🌻

[greenpea]

@May14  May14 welcome to the forums. You certainly have alot going on. Have you got any family out here besides your partner? You are not alone as you have people here on the forums that you can talk with day and night. There will always be someone around. Take good care of yourself. Love greenpeaxxx

[Mazarita]

Hi @May14 another welcome to the forum.

Feeling for you missing your family and home. Sorry your partner is not able to understand your homesickness. Wish you had someone else in your real life here who could offer some emotional support.

A GP may suggest medication to help you get through this time. I find my GP to be a good counsellor as well. If I feel I need to talk longer than the usual 15 minute appointments, I ask for a long/double appointment. But I'm not sure what it is that may be preventing you from doing this. Maybe it isn't possible or maybe the obstacle can be overcome.

Oh yes, I get what you are describing about being slower than normal at everyday tasks, or even responding in conversation. It sounds to me like depression. Anxiety is something I buckle under too. I am completely untrained in mental health, just going from my own long experience of depression, and symptoms and therapies I've found more or less helpful over time.

I've had something like the worrying about small things, looking them up on the computer. Health anxiety sometimes takes me there for periods of time. They come and go.

Hope being able to talk with others who may have been through similar internal pain may be helpful to you. Well wishes.

[timoneandwalnut]

Hey

I also live in Australia (i think that is where you were referring to anyway) and I am feeling really down and,I don't know, but don't worry because sometimes in life things seem really daunting and overwhelming and scary but when I took a step back I realised that these things (while they are hard and scary) will eventually end they don't go on forever just like feelings of anxiety. My stress reliever is talking anonymously online to people who understand and also throwing myself fully into things I love like dancing and contortion. 

Anyways I really hope you overcome these negative emotions soon.

Sure this doesn't help but anyways...

[HenryX]

Hello May14

Pleased that you decided to visit the forum, but sorry about the circumstances that brought you here.

I think that most of us on the forum feel pretty desperate, or just numb, at some time or another. Some of us more often than others. Unfortunately, the frequency of the feelings doesn't diminish the level of concern and distress that we feel at those times. Consequently, we do understand the severity and impact that those feelings can have when they turn up, whether only once or more often; but particularly when it is not usual for us to experience such feelings.

It can be difficult enough being away from home, family, and your usual friends, in the best of situations but it is to be expected that this “storm” makes the situation very much more difficult for you and other people in similar circumstances. It is natural to become fearful and anxious when our options are artificially restricted, as they are for you at the present time. I believe your reactions are very normal.

You have mentioned your partner, who you say is supportive. I hear from that that he understands your feelings most of the time but is dealing with the situation differently from the way that you are, and doesn't quite understand the way you are feeling about your position at the moment.

I know when traveling that there are more worries, concerns, and anxiety about simply living from day to day than we normally experience when we are closer to home. These feelings are very likely to be magnified in situations like the one you are facing as a result of the covid virus.

(I've taken your lead by using lower case for covid – it doesn't deserve the respect shown by using upper case letters).

This whole virus situation and the circumstances that you are experiencing are really not normal. I guess what I am saying is that in these extraordinary circumstances it is easily understood that we react in what may seem like extraordinary ways. People who live here have been stressed by these events. It is very reasonable in your situation to feel the effects even more strongly.

You say that you are “un-diagnosed”. If you were to have a physical injury, you would most likely visit a GP and have the injury assessed and treated in an appropriate way.

Since you are experiencing worries and anxiety as a result of extraordinary circumstances, I believe it is a very reasonable proposition that you seek medical assistance if you have the resources to do so. The appropriate attention and treatment you receive may well alleviate the feelings that are concerning you. Just the assurance from a doctor that you are otherwise ok may, in itself, be beneficial for you.

It is very likely, that with a little assistance, you will find yourself in a much better position.

The stressors, anxiety, and concerns about your health are very reasonable. I hope that you will be able to make the arrangements necessary to seek the support and reassurance that will be helpful for you at this time.

The members of this forum are here for mutual support. I notice that you have had four replies from people who, I am sure, as I do, wish you the best opportunity to enjoy your time here as much as you possibly can.

You are very welcome to have a look around at the various posts and we would be happy to “talk” with you more if you would like to do so.

With Best Wishes,

HenryX