06-05-2014 08:25 AM - edited 06-05-2014 11:24 AM
15-05-2014 01:25 PM
Great post, Brodie. Thanks.
28-07-2014 10:19 AM
This information is extremely valid for carers who care for someone with BPD.
No 10: is a hard one to accept, although through education, support and a clear understanding of your own limits it will assist in coming to that decision. Guilt and loss are words that carers are often not even aware of when coming to this point, so support is highly recommend through this stage of grief.
We all want to do the best for the person we are caring for - sometimes mental illness crosses over to abuse or domestic violence. It is often hard for carers to distinguish what is the mental illness and what is behavioural. As we know behaviour can be changed, as carers, the only person we can change is ourselves and our reaction. We need to have clear boundaries, which in turn assists the person we are caring for.
Thanks for raising such helpful info
31-07-2014 07:38 PM
There's the 4th Annual Borderline Personality Disorder Conference happening in Melbourne soon. I can find out the details if anyone is interested.
28-10-2014 11:31 PM
Right now I am really overwhelmed. I am tryjng to support my daughter who is suffering terribly with her BPD atm. I have no time for my other children or myself, everyday at some point I consider calling in emergency services or taking her to the hospital,(if she would go).
She has children and they are suffering as we all are.I look after them sometimes but I have 5 children at home and am studying full-time. We have tryed unsuccessfully to get help several times in the past, I think she needs medication but she wont take it as she is breastfeeding and she doesnt trust herself not to od.
Very difficult times atm, I feel as though something bad is going to happen, but am at a loss to do more than I am. Outside help normally makes things worse and in the end nothing is changed. She still has BPD and the medical profession are useless in dealing with it. There are very little resources in my town. Basically if you ask for help, all you get is people who dont understand the illness and then involving others who just make everything worse.
29-10-2014 10:16 PM
Welcome the the forums.
I can hear that you feel pretty stuck at the moment. It seems you've reached out for help, but have been largely disappointed with services that don't seem to have expertise in MH.
You mentioned that you think about calling emergency services every day. If you feel like that your daughter or anyone is in immediate danger (harm to self or others) don't hesitate to contact emergency services. If your daughter is assessed as at immediate risk, she may be able to be assessed by a crisis assessment team.
Do you have any other supports (family, friends) that you can speak with? Or who could provide you with a break?You got so much on your plate. It's important to also take sometime to care about you. Even if it's just for five minutes to take some time out? There are also family services that may be able to provide you with support. What state are you? I may be able to provide you with more information. There's also ARAFMI, which is a service that provides support to carers.
You might also find these BPD resources provided by @chemonro useful. @isabella as a person with a diagnosis of BPD can you offer any advice to Deby about how to support her daughter? @BananaHammock , I understand that you care about someone with BPD. Any words of advice for Deby?
29-10-2014 01:03 PM
Sounds like a very frustrating position. As mentioned already, don't be afraid to call somebody if you feel your daughter or anybody else is in danger.
Have you talked with her about how you feel, about your concerns? Does she know you're there for support? I find it can be frustrating, when all we want to do is stop their pain, to 'fix' what is going on currently for our loved one. Unfortunately any change needs to come from within, all we can do is remind them of how much we care and offer our support - often it will be pushed away or even not believed, and that can be hard to accept, though try to remember it's not about you when that happens.
Stick around the forums, even if it's just to vent sometimes, it can be very therapeutic and lets you know you're not alone. The best thing we can do as carers for someone with BPD is to take care of ourselves (mentally, physically, emotionally) and that will keep us strong and clear minded.
01-11-2014 07:16 PM
Yes please! That would be wonderful.
01-11-2014 07:56 PM
Hi Deby and CherryBomb,
Uhhh ... I really don't know what to say.But I will try.
Deby - I am managing my BPD secondary to my ADHD atm with my psychiatrist medication wise and with my psychologist. I diagnosed myself with BPD and asked a long term psychologist what he thght about my diagnosis ... he thght I might be onto something. One visit, 1st visit with my psychiatrist confirmed it and then the ADHD.
A few things that come to mind:
Getting away from the 'theory' and more on my experiences which may/may not work for your daughter Deby:
I am actually all of these in different variances: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201112/i-hate-you-dont-leave-me/the-many-faces-borderline...
But mainly I am:
Finally I think of exit strategies for life on a daily basis but only as a way to relieve the pressure of living - I don't follow through with it.
I wish that my partner of 18 months would read up on BPD and ADHD so that he could help me manage/recognise/grow. But he won't. Not many people do.
I have done a lot of reading/research and buying of books on BPD and am starting a BPD DBT group therapy course in a few weeks - instead of admitting myself as an inpatient for four weeks. It's a deal I made with my psychiatrist.
Deby - have you had the time (??!!!!) to read how to manage your daughter? Perhaps start with a small issue that you notice with her and try some techniques on how you communicate with her. But really, unless your daughter is willing to understand what, when how and why, there is nothing you can do. Except manage yourself and your emotions ...
Sorry about the book.
I love typing/writing.
08-06-2015 02:17 PM
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