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Bad thoughts

Any ideas to stop my mind from thinking I am not worth being here on this earth 

 

8 REPLIES 8
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Re: Bad thoughts

Hi @Holly83 , sorry that you are feeling this way right now.  Is this something you have felt for a while or just recenly?  I can only suggest trying to exercise and to stay busy doing things that you enjoy and make life feel worthwhile.

 

I don't think I've seen you around before so its nice to meet you.  You can tag me back by pressing the @ andt then picking my name.  I did it above with your  name.. it lets you get a notification that you have responded.

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Re: Bad thoughts

@Holly83   sorry I wish I had answers for you but sadly I don't as I have been thinking that way about myself for quite some time.  I hope you haven't been feeling that way for as long as I have as it is pure torture.  Hang in there.  Sometimes you need to take not just every minute but every second one at a time.  

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Re: Bad thoughts

Hi @Holly83 

try medication from a psychiatrist. 

 

I am from a bad family who always told me I was worthless & stupid, that I should not have been born. Talking therapies and therapists only made it worse. But medication helped a little bit. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.

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Former-Member
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Re: Bad thoughts

@Holly83 

Hi

Ive struggled with this all my life.  Especially after i get triggered. Im bpd which really struggles with self image.

I can feel confident with something & it only take one nasty comment from someone for me to breakdown hysterical crying & once again feeling rejected unwanted no good. Takes me a few days to recover & feel normal again.

 

My sons dad 16yrs ago said once that im a real overachiever.  I struggle being a beginner at something cause i need to excel.

Tho no matter how good i get i still dont feel good enough especially to be around people.

 

My self worth was incredibly low, no dangerously low.  Im trying to stay doing things to make me feel better about myself. Im not confident enough to join a choir even tho im actually quite good so i stay at home prac. Im 55 & really trying to get a few things ready for my retirement. Like feeling good enough to join a choir or music theatre comp. Im teaching myself piano now too. So as one day i can pick up music & easily play. 

I regularly exercise to feel good & to visually appreciate the work i do on my body.

 

Over the yrs im learning to stay away from nasty people. Neg people. When it comes to men i just would rather b on my own than be treated badly.

 

For me i think those things are slowly changing my life. @ 16 i was a drug addict alcoholic & treated terrible. Now i say no to people that make me feel hurt & upset or bad about myself so i can see my self worth has definitely improved over the yrs.

Its been a very long journey tho.

Ive also had to learn to speak out & let people know when theyre doing wrong. Like at work (i only wk a few hrs a wk) a lady yelled & screamed at me. Another worker. She was totally cruel & bullying me. I didnt say anything but eventually my boss was trying to know what had upset me. Eventually i told & she was so shocked but grateful id spoken out cause last lady just left. My boss now respects me & said to always tell her if anything happens. That made me feel more worthy & protected to my surprise.

Everyones journey differs but i hope something ive said makes sense..

 

I clearly wasnt loved as a child. I was very driven & talented & my mother was violently jealous cause she was so unhappy. My father wasnt there cause he was an alcoholic. As a kid i taught myself music to keep myself happy & to get away from the not nice environment.

Its funny how after life was terribly cruel to me i reverted back to what i did as a child.

Next wk im going start an online course. When i think about it i get stressed cause im not confident with studying at all. Its not a huge course. I just keep telling myself ill do a little bit each day.

 

Anyway thats my ramble.

I hope my confidence & self worth continues growing with all the good things im doing

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Re: Bad thoughts

Hey @Holly83 I've been thinking of you, and hope you are finding some little wins amongst the overwhelming difficult feelings. That helps me - looking for anything, however small, that lifts my spirits. Sometimes there is nothing, which makes me despair. What I try and do is hold on to the idea, that all feelings eventually pass. I wish I could give you hope. I really believe that you matter.

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Re: Bad thoughts

Hi there @Holly83 


Talking about these feelings of worthlessness and thoughts of suicide is one way to help keep yourself safe so it's great that you have had the courage to ask your question here on the forums. I can see that you have responses from a few caring members who have posted in support and shared some ideas about things that have worked for them.

I don't think we've met on the forums before and I might just send you a quick email to check in with you that way. 

Please remember that Lifeline and the Suicide Callback Service are both free 24 hr services that offer a safe space in which to receive some professional support at any time.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling




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Re: Bad thoughts

I am ok but I am also not ok I feel very stuck and I really want to be happy!

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Re: Bad thoughts

Hullo @Holly83  I hope you are ok as you start reading my little ramble. I also have struggled with that big thing called purpose in life and the even harder do I want to deamons as I call it.

You will have times in your life that made you feel warm inside. These can be something that you did that was a success or fun. A place you like a memory that is happy.

What I do is I have a few things over 58 years that I like. One is Sunrise in Bass Straight on a commercial fishing boat. Another is a place in NSW I visited many years ago once but had a really huge impact on me  

I dabbled photography when I was younger and I have  photo of a gorge that I spent hours setting up for it is a foggy ish morning calm water that has the reflection almost perfect on water to cliff face this is on my fridge and the wall I first see as I get home. 

I visualise t he favorite places when I am heading towards the woe is me or worthless me. 

I also have a couple of good memories of 2 times where the hurters in my younger life  thought they had won but I managed to achieve what they told me I could not. These 2 memories are very powerful as I usually folded and let their bullying win. 

I go to these things when I feel it's worthless or I know I am going to struggle that day. I look at the photo on the fridge every morning close my eyes for 10vseconds and say I am worthy as I did this damn near perfect. (Setting a I am worthy thought not I am super as bullies think they are bett e r than everyone we are not better but we are worthless because we don't need to pull others apart to achieve). 

Holly83 always remember everyone has a bad day everyone doubts there self worth sometime. Always allow yourself a little self doubt a little need to have to reflect on what makes you feel good because that is what makes you and I and so many other worthwhile people the great grounded people we are. Remember the little train (I cannot remember his name) who said I think I can then worked on it and proved he could. Sorry it is gender Pacific but I think it says what I want to get across.

Holky83 you showed great strength  posting and asking the question proving you think you do matter you do deserve to be happy. Take time smell the roses remember the good times try not to re f left on the bad times especially the ones others caused you to endure . 🥰🥰

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