Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Adge]

Thanks @CheerBear for your thoughts & support. Adge

[Shaz51]

A STeP forward @Lauz 

[Lauz]

I am sure that a few of you will have heard the importance of self care as a carer and that in order to take care of your loved one you need to first take care of yourself? I understand this can feel a bit like an eye roll statement from time to time.

So, to take it from another angle, do you think mindfulness would be something that in practicing, you could feel better able to share the strategy with your loved one? What exercises could you do together?

[Shaz51]

Photography when Mr shaz has a good day @Lauz

[SA64]

@Lauz my daughter had absolutely no interest in mindfulness or meditation at all. Even when I started doing it and told her the benefits that I had noticed, she just wasn't interested. And that was okay. She actually is mindful without knowing it because she draws as a strategy for when she starts to feel overwhelmed. I won't tell her it's mindfulness if you don't...

[Lauz]

Photography is a nice one @Shaz51 - by going through the lense you can pay attention to the here and now!

@SA64 I wonder if regardless your daughter may still have picked up on some mindfulness vibes by accident

One idea I saw online (will place the link at the end of the TT) from a family struggling with a very distressing time was that they would share a three breath hug: 'We gathered... put our arms around each other and had a 3-breath hug to ground ourselves and give each other love and support.'

[Lauz]

@Former-Member - I totally missed your wonderful image that you shared! Just realised.

Love the idea behind it. Mindfull vs Mindful? I think this is such a common fear of mindfulness - this idea that we need to stop the buzz or hum of our thoughts. To be honest I would need super human strength to do that! I think you can engage mindfully in activities whilst carrying that buzz with you. Noticing that you don't want to switch off the thoughts, but you are also going to focus on being aware of them, present with them. Does that help warm any of that sceptic in you? 

[Kayj]

Exploring nature. Always good.

[Lauz]

@Kayj thats a good one - easy enough to do with a loved one too which helps. 

We have spoken about the day to day use of mindfulness but what about when you are feeling a higher level of stress or your loved one is at a more acute time.

Bringing in practices of mindfulness may not fix everything or make the pain go away but it can help us notice what is happening internally and allow us to slow the pace of a high stress situation. This can help to hold a calm space for your loved one and keep your own anxiety managed in the moment. Noticing and being mindful of the warning signs of stress rising is important.

Can you think of times when you have felt really overwhelmed and look at what kind of feelings and behaviours have come up for you? Let’s call them out here together and maybe even write them down for yourself. You can refer to this to remind yourself of warning signs to get on top of before the stress climbs

[Kayj]

There have been times when I am dealing with multiple demands. I feel that I won't be able to successfully manage all I have to do. It brings up feelings of failure and panic. If I can't do this who will?