Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Lauz]

I’ve done a mindfulness TT before in lived experience and I am going to go for the same vibe here where we might break down the obstacles that block us from approaching this coping strategy. I know for me, the idea of mindfulness comes with this heavy feeling of expectation to find stillness, peace and the answer to all the worlds answers! And when you are caring for a loved one, it’s hard to think you a) have time for this or b) that it will even help.

Does that resonate with anyone else? What challenges in your thinking come up for you in actioning mindfulness?

[CheerBear]

Using mindfulness while dishwashing is one I practice also @Snowie. I find I get less caught up in how much of a giant mess the kitchen can be if I am focusing on things like the smell of the soap and the feel of the warm water (I have a 'thing' for nice smelling detergent for that reason 🙂) as they happen.

And coffee also @Shaz51! Making it and drinking it! And the garden too. Zooming in and out while looking in the garden 🙂

@Lauz being mindful of what's going on inside me while communicating is something that seems to be really helpful when I can do it, but quite difficult to do sometimes. It find it tricky to pay attention both to what someone is saying and to my own 'stuff' at the same time!

[Shaz51]

Yes the same here @Lauz

My mind says I don't have time to think about now or taking a moment to go ahhh 

[Kayj]

I would usually want an action that is fast and solution focused

[Lauz]

@CheerBear I think that is something everyone would find hard to master! I think with ongoing practices of mindfulness and mindful thinking, we can have a better understanding of the way we do think. This can mean we can be better prepared when we are listening to another person, in managing our own triggers or negative reactions. We will touch on this more throughout the night!

[SA64]

I really struggled at first and wondered if it would help.  I mean, I could hardly calm my mind.  But after a while you get better and better.  Even then, however, you have some days where you can just pop straight into mindfulness and others where you are not quite as adept.  If we just accept that and not get worried about how 'good' we are at it, then that's half the battle.  Just sitting in the moment makes so much difference to me, can take me from stress to bliss in no time at all.

[Lauz]

Hi @Kayj - glad that you have joined us! I can understand that using a coping strategy that is fast and solution based can be very helpful to a lot of situations. Mindfulness, depending on how often you use it and are comfortable with it, can still be quick to access and bring some meaningful results in a moment. Like grounding down when you might be getting caught up. 

[Lauz]

@SA64 this is really insightful. It sounds like you have been on quite a journey with mindfulness. It is definitely good to notice that no matter how 'good' we get at something, even mindfulness, we might still have our days where it's just not working for us. Just as meaningful to be mindful of having a difficult time being mindful! haha!

[Lauz]

@Shaz51 maybe by noticing that your mind is telling you that you don't have time to think, it could be a good time to take a moment? 

[CheerBear]

Hi @Kayj 🙂 I can really relate to that! I often want action and try to jump in to fix/solve things.

@SA64 I really like what you said about accepting that sometimes it's not going to the way we'd like. Acceptance of whatever it is that's going on is a pretty important part of mindfulness from my understanding, and it makes sense that we can extend that to accepting that sometimes it's not going to go so well.