Lived Experience Forum

[Millieme]

yes, i feel that services are definitely retraumatising individuals. i was diagnosed with bpd for a few years (relabelled now) and the treatment i received as bpd was to shun, blame and turn away much of the time. now relabelled there is more understanding and support and yet nothing about me has changed. i think services are so quick to judge based on a label that im not sure any of them ever see me... even if the treatment is kinder now to some extent, i don't trust that they see nay more than a big thick file of bad stuff.

[chibam]

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@Cathyblueknot wrote:

Many are isolated and withdrawn but just as we are harmed in relationships in which we are hurt we can also heal in relationships of care, support and nurture. It is about learning to trust and connecting with people, and often initially one person – friend, family or professional with whom you feel safe. This can help to change your internal beliefs that the world is dangerous and support a healing journey.

Peer support provides a unique opportunity to connect with a person who has their own lived experience and who can walk alongside you on your journey helping you to make sense of what you are feeling and support you to find a path to recovery.

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It's tracking down the right person/group, with the right characteristics & values, ect. to nourish an endearing perception of humanity that is the challenge; to say nothing of the challenge of establishing a meaningful association with them once they've been located.

Are there any other facilities available to help people connect with "the right people" to help them heal, aside from the peer support system?

[Emelia8]

I agree that learning to trust someone is a huge issue @Cathyblueknot @Daisydreamer @Former-Member 

I learned to trust my clinical psychologist, because I had nobody else. But is that a bad thing? Can you become dependent or reliant on them? And then if something happens and they are no longer there for you, once again ... you have nobody. And once again your trust is broken and you are once again entirely on your own.

Is it not better to self isolate, and then you cant be let down?

Emelia

[cinaL]

that's really heart breaking. i hope she one day comes out of her denial to acknowledge the life long impact that would have had on your whole life and you as a child. i hope you find safe people you can talk to and connect with about it. complex trauma and PTSD are the worst. sometimes i don't know if i will ever get through it all but all i can do is keep trying because slowly in time things are becoming less intense than they used to be. 

[Former-Member]

Amazing words and I couldn't agree more @cinaL "its really unhealthy to be isolated and we need to continuously fight against the isolation creeping in more and more cos if we don't challenge it it just takes over our lives and we become more unwell" 🌻

[Daisydreamer]

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@destructive wrote:

I don't know if it's what you mean @Daisydreamer but at the moment I'm working in finding stuff for grounding. Apparently strong input can be good. So I have some oils and a ring massage thing. I have troubles with dissociation so it's meant to help me with that. Only new though

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Grounding strategies is something we hear from many people who are coping with the big emotions brought up by past trauma. How have you found the grounding tools so far?

[BlueBay]

I can't stay 

I'm triggered 

it's too much 

@Daisydreamer 

[destructive]

And even if you do find someone good, or at least seemingly, you can't afford to see them enough to make any progress. Seems hopeless 

[Daisydreamer]

Completely understand @BlueBay. Take care of yourself tonight and the SANE Helpline (1800 18 7263) is open if you need someone to talk to now

[cinaL]

yes i agree. and i have seen people come out of the darkest darkest worst places that i never thought they would have come back from but they managed to. so miracles do happen in peoples lives every day and healing is something that can be attainable for everyone, but it takes hard work to recover from the darkest places.