Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

@Ngaio-ROP
Good thinking
I said to her that we should meet up first for coffee - we actually don't know what each other look like. It was through Reddit. I said that she can back out whenever she wants to if she isnt comfortable and such. I feel like this sort of meet up/scenario is easier for me personally because of my issues over lack of experience.. its a huge barrier to my sense of self esteem. I guess I will see what happens.
@outlander relationships are complex. You've told me yourself that putting your own self worth into that sortvof thing isn't a good move. But i do empathise with you. I went to a co ed high school but had 0 female friends and I'm about to finish uni after 5 years having not made any romantic progress except 2 dates with 2 different girls who insisted that it wasn't a date. My point is that we all progress through this stuff differently. I have used tinder before too and it has been okay. Online dating is brutal but i feel like it is better for girls haha. Maybe try giving it a go? just to see what happens?

[Shakeelah25]

@Ngaio-ROP do you have any book recommendations at the top of your head for libido and stuff we discussed tonight? It would be really helpful. I appreciated how you said that romantic movies and porn are make believe and stuff. I would like more real life examples to grow in a more healthy way 🙂

[Ngaio-ROP]

Thanks so much for your input tonight @outlander I really hope we didn't take you to an uncomfortable place. If this has left you feeling yuck, I'm really sorry and I hope you can chat it out with someone.

I just want to say thnaks for your awesome honesty. 

[outlander]

no it wasnt you @Ngaio-ROP or anyone else

i done it myself. i knew it was dangerous territory and put it out there when i should have stuck to the topic.  honesty is the best policy and as uncomfortable as it is other here are in the same place so not to bad to talk about libido wise

sorry guys

[lovemyboys]

@Ngaio-ROP I will bring it up with him. This year has been difficult, lots of changes and AFL draft looming has him a bit frazzled.

I will look at the parents forums for my 12 and 13 year old step children. 13 year old major behaviour issues particularly around school lately, he has been suspended twice in the past month so we are running out of ideas.

[Shaz51]

Thanks @Ngaio-ROP, it has been lots of  ups and downs along the way , and each stepchild has MI in different ways like their dad who has inherited depression and other diagnosis

thank you for tonight , it has beenvery interesting and I find it hard to help them as their nature mum uses them and then dumps them and we are there to pick up the pieces

[lovemyboys]

@Shaz51 as a fellow step parent, I understand the issues with other parents who are not as involved but when they are they have a not so great impact

[Ngaio-ROP]

I haven't read it but "This is Not a Sex Book" was just released by one of the big Spanish Youtubers. She's like a Spanish Zoella. It's apparently really honest and informative, so maybe start there @Shakeelah25

There's another great one but I can't remember the name so I'll look it up and add it here later.

@MDT That sounds like a really htoughtful approach to meeting up. There's a saying "Men worry that women will laugh at them, women worry that men will k**l them." which sounds waaaayyyy over the top here but it's often a good tsrtaing point for a male trying to arrange a first meet with a female. She needs to feel safe more than anything, so sometimes that might mean it trumps your comfort. If that makes sense. But you sound really thoughtful so I'm sure there's no issues.

Also, believeing that girls have it easier in online dating is what makes it so awful for everybody. if you an connect with them having as tough time as you are, I think it makes the whole process a little easier.

Absolutely nothing to apologise for @outlander Everything you said related perfectly to the topic. 🙂

[Shakeelah25]

Thank you! Really appreciate it @Ngairo-ROP. Will look out for the other title also, if you remember it 🙂 xoxo

[Ngaio-ROP]

I definitely recommend the Parents Coaching service @lovemyboys The link is on the homepage.

it's great at helping parents manage behavioural stuff with their teenagers. if you're expereiencing school refusal, it's a great first step.

That sounds really tough @Shaz51 The coaching service is as much for step-parents if you think it might help.