Lived Experience Forum

[frog]

Hi @Zoe7 I relate to what you're saying about being a loner. The forum has been good for me to dip my toe in the water in terms of social connections, and it has made me a bit more confident IRL, but I am pretty cautious. I have felt so misunderstood and disconnected most of my life, that it feels risky to let people in. It also wears me out. My dogs are wonderful, and I'm happy for you with Toby. I am so far behind the discussion but never mind.

[Adge]

Well people here often have more empathy & understanding @jess_27

Because of shared experiences & struggles, or simply because they are kind & caring people.

Sharing some experiences can make connections, & gives me a sense of belonging.

Adge

[Teej]

The forum helped me feel not so alone. I think I’ve learned so much because of how open everyone is. Above all there are so many gorgeous beautiful souls on the forum that encourage connection. 

[Zoe7]

I found the forum through my GP @jess_27 She was researching places for herself to be able to help me and this forum was something she came across - so here I am 

[jess_27]

Hi @frog better late than never! 

I'm glad you could get something out of the chat. You are so right how it is sometimes just baby steps and dipping your toe in. 

[Mazarita]

I too find it difficult to set overt spoken boundaries about my needs and desires in relation to acquaintances, friends and loved ones. Like @Adge, doing that has often given rise to less than helpful responses, and frustration and even anger in me. This applies even to the closest people in my life.

I find that people in general are not fond of demands in friendship, even when they are not suffering from mental illness. I guess I prefer for everyone to be free to give what they can and want to, in a natural way. This is partly because I find myself tending to withdraw, perhaps like @greenpea, when demands are made on me. This is partly because I found myself unreliable in various ways, due to my mental illness. It stresses me to feel that I am required to give in certain ways, though I feel I am able to give fairly abundantly, especially on the emotional level, when free to do that in my own way.

What I do find most helpful is acceptance, and I feel I get this from those that are most important to me, even if they don't fully understand the complexities of my mental illness.

Like @Zoe7, I have become more able over to walk away from situations or relationships I find too stressful or unhelpful. I have good boundaries in that way that don't seem to need to be spoken or stated overtly, though the down side of that is that I am probably sometimes hurtful to people who may not understand why I have withdrawn.

I'm guessing this can be quite personal from person to person. Making boundaries may be a different thing for each of us in what form they take. I am possibly a bit too inclined overall to try to appease people, as I care too much really about what others think of me. This is part of my lifelong social anxiety, something I still experience a lot, even now at age 56.

@jess_27, I hope we won't be able to get rid of you, as I find your lived experience and insights so helpful and valuable! You must be a great SANE ambassador and I feel lucky that you have joined us here, at least for tonight.

[jess_27]

@Zoe7 that's awesome!

[Lauz]

Hey everyone, its that time of the evening where we have to wrap up our wonderful discussion. 

I wanted to take a moment to say such a big warm thank you to @jess_27 for leading such an insightful, thoughtful and engaging topic tuesday tonight. Your experiences and perspectives in approaching social connections really provoked some helpful thoughts!

And a big thank you to all the wonderful forum members that got involved tonight - hope you all feel like you have taken a few bits of knowledge or insights away with you! 🧡😊

[Zoe7]

Nice of you to join us at any stage @frog  and I relate to everything you wrote too.

[Adge]

It was a MH worker, through the PHMP @jess_27 Who told me about Sane Forums.

I haven't had any MH worker for over 12 months now.

I still have my connections through the forums.

Adge