Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

ok so i never knew my father at all. im not fussed on meeting him either.
my mother actually is freinds on FB with him. yesterday i said to her can you please get in contact with him and ask if i can msg him as id like to ask about medical conditions in his genetics.
ive been warned that i may have a few other medical conditions within the next few years. i asked my nan and my pop what genetics run in the family and  only one of them that i could very possibly get runs on our side so i started thinking maybe its runs on my fathers side. so i asked if my mum could contact him and ask whether i could contact him and she said no, so iasked if she could contact him for me and she again said no . i said why not, i only want the medical history and ill be lucky to get the information out of him? and she just said. (angry tone) just stop worrying about it!!!
i said these conditions can be serious and i want to know if its something in my genes or whther theres something else going on in my body..
and she said ( angry tone and glaring at me) stoping whinging and just get over it.
shes always said to me that if i wanted to get in contact with him she would allow me to, if i wanted to talk about him she would and ive asked a few things about him before and she answered them for me. i understand that its probably hard for her to talk about her ex but i said that i would do it. i would do just as everyone was telling me to do -grow up- so i said i would contact him can i just have his fb details (doesnt go under the name i know) and ill ask him myself.
im not really sure sure what to do.... i dont have the best relationship with my mum so i need a 'spare' or a few spare forums mums lol. im lost and really dont know what to do about it?  or do i just leave it and not worry about it?

[Atalanta]

If you are an adult legally, locate and contact him directly. If you don't have a great relationship with your mother, this won't make a great deal of difference and your health and future, as well as the future of your children requires you put yourself first in this situation.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @atlanta
I think i may have it sorted

[Lunar]

Hello @Former-Member

I really hope you got that sorted as it is your right to know your genetic make up for the sake of your health and like @Atalanta said, legally if you are over 18 you have the rights of an adult without the permission of your mother. Even so, for something like this surely you would have full rights regardless of your age. I know that is a fact for children who are adopted they have a right to know the health history of family members even if that parent does not want to share their identity.

Thinking of you ❤️

Lunar

[Former-Member]

I did @Lunar 🙂

[Lunar]

Oh good I'm glad, good work 🙂