Lived Experience Forum

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia @Zoe7 

I HATE being here every day. I just hate it. If I had the money I'd book a holiday, tell her I'm off on a holiday, leave the keys in the bench when you move out and then block her number. If I had a friend I would go stay with them till she left. 

I can't stand this day in and day out. 

I'm also peeved off with a person that has shown interest in the room to rent. Young girl 20. First her messenger wasn't working so she said, then I arranged to call her today at 11:15. No answer. Apparently in an extended appt with her lawyer. 

She is going through a court battle for her child and needs a stable home to live in. I've given her the benefit of the doubt and willing to give her a fair go but I'm being messed about. I'm ready to tell her that she may not be the best fit and wish her all the best. 

I've got too much going on. 

[Anastasia]

Not sure about someone with such big issues going on @Powderfinger as far as the flatmate...

Go with your gut 🙏❤️

@Zoe7 👋💙

[Zoe7]

I agree with @Anastasia here @Powderfinger Someone with so much going on might not be the right fit for you at present - weigh up what you need and what you want and do as Myboy said - go with your gut.

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia @Zoe7 

I'm going to give this girl a miss. I've given her three chances. Also, I just cannot have a person here who has a lot going on right now. 

She has advised me via text the lease is in my name now as she has signed hers. She has also advised me she is moving out in Friday the 22nd which is what is reflected on the lease. My usual response to any text from her is just a simple Ok. 

Me and my emotions are unstable. Somehow I'm going to have to find the money to stay somewhere overnight on Thursday and maybe even Friday. That way I'm just not here when she leaves. I think I've been through more than enough. 

[Anastasia]

Very wise on both counts @Powderfinger  🤗✔️💕

@Zoe7 👋😘

[Powderfinger]

The cheapest there is right now is $200 for two nights. I'm also trying to ask some people I know to help out. I was talking to someone last night. They have just gone away for a week today. Should have asked him. He probably would have helped me out. Just wasn't thinking. People are getting to know me around the town now, so they know I'm trustworthy. 

[Powderfinger]

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia @Zoe7

https://youtu.be/feRzucBXSkA 

This is the kind of thing that makes me smile. People together. Pranks like this but mainly people together. I want to feel like they do. Not lonely, seeing amazing things. Instead of just thinking how to survive emotions Mally and mentally every second. 

[Anastasia]

I loved that!!!!

Thank you for sharing @Powderfinger 

Yes the human spirit at its best 🙏🤗💞

[Powderfinger]

@Anastasia @Zoe7 

This song popped into my head. Not sure why? 

https://youtu.be/gny98bdDBAc 

Regardless I like the song and she has a great voice. Music is very healing for me and good for my soul. 

I found a place to stay. Remember the guy I met when I was doing up the chairs? We've hung out quite a bit since then. I've just not write about it. We really have become good friends. 

He is letting me stay with him for two days. So, I'm going there. He is good company, won't do anything to me and I do not have to be here. I'm not telling her I'm leaving for two days. She doesn't need to know that. When I leave on Thursday, I will just block her number so I can't be contacted.

This is still going to be really hard for me to get through. There is a small part of me that still hopes she will talk to me. It's only because I had wished for that so much for so long. This has been going on since the 2nd December now. So, I just have to accept that she will not be speaking to me at all and say my own goodbye without speaking to her. 

I cannot deal with being here and her leaving. It will be too hard sitting here, watching her load her car and move bit by bit, all the while not speaking to me at all. I can guarantee you that is what will happen. 

It will be a cold affair for her. It will break me further than I already have been broken. So, it's best for me to just go. 

Those words were really hard to type. I felt the coldness from her as I was typing it. I felt the damage already done. It's just better I'm not here. 

I hope she plays no mind games and keeps the keys till Saturday when I'm home. I don't want to see her.