@Anastasia @Zoe7 

This song popped into my head. Not sure why? 

https://youtu.be/gny98bdDBAc 

Regardless I like the song and she has a great voice. Music is very healing for me and good for my soul. 

I found a place to stay. Remember the guy I met when I was doing up the chairs? We've hung out quite a bit since then. I've just not write about it. We really have become good friends. 

He is letting me stay with him for two days. So, I'm going there. He is good company, won't do anything to me and I do not have to be here. I'm not telling her I'm leaving for two days. She doesn't need to know that. When I leave on Thursday, I will just block her number so I can't be contacted.

This is still going to be really hard for me to get through. There is a small part of me that still hopes she will talk to me. It's only because I had wished for that so much for so long. This has been going on since the 2nd December now. So, I just have to accept that she will not be speaking to me at all and say my own goodbye without speaking to her. 

I cannot deal with being here and her leaving. It will be too hard sitting here, watching her load her car and move bit by bit, all the while not speaking to me at all. I can guarantee you that is what will happen. 

It will be a cold affair for her. It will break me further than I already have been broken. So, it's best for me to just go. 

Those words were really hard to type. I felt the coldness from her as I was typing it. I felt the damage already done. It's just better I'm not here. 

I hope she plays no mind games and keeps the keys till Saturday when I'm home. I don't want to see her.