Lived Experience Forum

[San]

Hi all. I'm really struggling at the moment - I'm working away from home in another state from my partner and dog for over a month. I have a chronic illness plus major depression and bpd traits. Before I left I felt my depression was getting bad again and my doctor put up my dose of antidepressants. My work is in the arts and very stressful - I am not being properly paid and most of the team (from three up to five of us) are living together in one house. Last week we worked a number of 12hr days. Luckily I have my own room at the moment. One of the women I am working with has started to pick on me, I think partly due to finding out by accident that her new boyfriend dated me 7 years ago (I had a bad experience with him). I tried to talk to her about it months ago and sent her a message but got no response - I told her it was a long time ago and people change and I wished her the best with him. Now she has started interfering with my role when her department has nothing to do with mine and is causing issues with my other working relationships. She is opinionated and I don't really like conflict and can get flustered when put on the spot. I have told our "boss" and she said she understands that this person can put people off side but said she doesn't think her behaviour is malicious. On top of that I was indecently assaulted on the street in broad daylight last weekend, the second time a man has grabbed at me which really triggered me. I spent two hours in the police station giving a statement. My partner also has depression and he was very upset at what happened to me. Today I had to deal with another run in with my "boss" and the girl who is causing issues. I had a big chat with my "boss" so things are good with us but I was so upset I couldn't calm down. I haven't felt that absolutely crushing anxiety, sadness and despair for a very long time. I tried to talk with my partner but he was at work and said it was stressing him out and he didn't want to hear about the issues I was having with the girl I work with again. I felt cornered and so desperate. I had to take some medication and go to bed for the rest of the day, making me miss work. I have spoken to my doctor and she said I have to insist on my own room while I'm there for my mental health but not sure how that will go down. I really believe in the work we are doing but it doesn't feel worth all these issues and the pain of being away from my loved ones yet I can't just pull out and go home as it will ruin my reputation.

[marchhare]

Hi San, It is Marchhare here. I am one of the forum moderators. Thank you for putting up your first post. It sounds as if there are a lot of things going on in your life at the moment. I am sure you will get some good support here from the forum members.

Take care

[Mazarita]

Hi @San, welcome to the forums. I can see how a separate room would help your situation, because it would give you time to regroup in your own space, away from the woman who is troubling you. Does your boss know about your mental health issues? If so, I would suggest trying to talk to them about the separate room. If your boss is not aware of that, I can see how it may be more difficult to raise the subject as it's harder to know what the reaction might be. Also wondering how far into the month away you are. One consolation might be that the time away is not long overall. Do you think you might be able to make it to the end of that time? You may feel better overall if you are able to do that. And then afterwards, at home in a more centred place, you could weigh up the pros and cons of interstate jobs in future. I too am trying to come up with options that won't damage your reputation. Hope this helps a little. If not, at least know that I hear you and am wishing you well in finding the best solution to your current distress.

[Former-Member]

Hi San,

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you have found the forums as it sounds like a really tough time at the moment and being away from your family/home this might just be a great way to get some more support!

Sounds like your co worker is really causing a lot of stress! I have one person at work who is similar... always causing bad feelings around the place with different people. I've learnt not to take it personally, but sometimes i have to check myself on that! I'm so glad that you have your own room!

Very sorry to hear that you had such an awful experience recently, that would have been awful.. and a huge amount of stress on top of everything else. Are you getting some support for that as well? you have a lot on your plate so any extra support would be good,

Take care,

lj