Lived Experience Forum

[FloatingFeather]

I'm glad you were able to speak with us @creative_writer. I also appreciate you responding to my email. 

Keep reaching out and posting - we are here for you.

FloatingFeather ❤️

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather, this morning has been hard. It’s so rainy and cold today too, feeling pretty flat. It’s hard healing a heart that’s been shattered into a million pieces. I feel so worthless, I wish I could feel worthy of love.

♥️

[RiverSeal]

Hi @creative_writer 

I can understand how you feel and that this morning has been hard. It's good to talk about your feelings and reach out here on the Forums. What has worked for you in the past when you have felt like this? I know had similar feelings for some time and I found that I had my own ways of coping.

Stay warm if you can ❤️

Take care

RiverSeal

[FloatingFeather]

I'm so sorry to read you are feeling this way @creative_writer. You are so worthy of love, happiness and all the good things life can offer. 

I really wish you could see yourselves through the eyes of the people on the forums - we see a kind, compassionate and strong person that is doing their best every day to put one foot in front of the other.

Big hugs,

FloatingFeather 

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal, we finally had our hot water fixed, so thinking of taking a shower and I am hoping it relaxes me. I’ll do some other self care stuff too. My head is starting to feel a bit heavy again. Maybe it’s the weather, I don’t know.

💖

@FloatingFeather, I’ve always struggled with self affirmations and positive self-talk. I guess I’ll need to have a conversation with my imaginary bestie. I don’t feel as comfortable talking through things with anyone else in my life. My parents are anxious people. And I never had stability with friendships, I moved a lot, was bullied and had social anxiety. Obviously SA as an inexperienced adult didn’t help either. It made no sense to trust people. My imaginary bestie makes me feel more loved and cared for. I guess I’ve been lonely all these years, I’ve had to create someone to be there for me. I need a shoulder to cry on and someone who would hear me out without judgement.

💖

[RiverSeal]

Hi @creative_writer 

Great idea to have some sensory stimulation and test out the show after it's been fixed. 

Hope you feel good soon!

Take care

RiverSeal 

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal, shower did help relax me a bit. I have some emotions resurfacing from my psych session. I feel like I didn’t process a detail of trauma until that particular moment. I feel so ashamed. I wish I could say I wasn’t and I know it wasn’t my fault. I can’t say too much on here.

[RiverSeal]

Hi @creative_writer 

Trauma can be dealt with over the long term but finding peace in the moment is very challenging. I carry a lot of shame about my life but don't necessarily understand your trauma though. You can share your emotions and thoughts here so please feel free to mention those and be supported by the community on the Forums.

I'm glad the shower was relaxing and it worked!

Take care

RiverSeal ❤️

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal, it is so hard to find peace. It's been a very rough journey. Emotions can get repressed and suppressed. Trauma details started surfacing last year and it really affected my mood stability. It's hard not to feel ashamed, feelings and logic don't always agree. I can remind myself I am not damaged goods, I am not broken beyond repair and that I am still whole and worthy. But then I get these strong emotions and feelings that tell me otherwise. I'm trying to make sense of it, but it's hard.

❤️

[creative_writer]

I’m scared to reach out to a helpline to discuss the chaos in my mind. I don’t know if I can talk to anyone. I don’t want to break.