Lived Experience Forum

[Redraw]

Alcohol and pills are dangerous individually let alone together, triggers make a mess of us all and as time passes things can feel more and more bleak but it can't be can it

[Former-Member]

I struggle with this so much too (negative emotions)- I am finding it harder as I get older. I think before I used to roll with the punches a bit more.

Thanks for you advice @Appleblossom (reducing stress).

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member 💕
I often have negative emotions and feel irritable. Probably every day. Some days are worse than others. In my case I think my body/mind doesn't cope well with stress, feel over tired and depressed.
Some days I can fight it and am able to do things, other days, like today, I'm in and out of bed.

I always shower, get dressed and put makeup on. And I always make sure that my home is clean and reasonably tidy. That helps me from feeling even worse. My bed doesn't always get made. 😂
On really bad days, I try to stay home and rest as much as possible and hope that the next day is better.

Sometimes it's not worth pushing ourselves too much. It's important to listen to our bodies and rest when we need to.

It is frustrating, I know oceangirl73, but you/we will get better, because we don't give up. 😙💕

Hi to @Maybloom and @Redraw 🌻🌼
I haven't met you yet. Nice to meet you. Sorry you're struggling as well. 😮

Hi to everyone else on here. 💕

[Former-Member]

I'm just going off for a bit @Former-Member
I need to make myself do some stretches so I feel like I've done something. 😊
Shower then bed. I'll be on later if it's not too late. 💗

[Former-Member]

You have explained it really well @pip , the impacts of depression.

It gets pretty tough at times. I hear you @pip .

I think its the lack of energy that is getting to me.

I hope tomorrow is better

[utopia]

@Former-Member @Former-Member. Sorry for late post.
When I got iut of hospital earlier this year - I thought - that's it. No more depression. I was wrong. It is a roller coaster ride. Sometimes that rolker coaster gets stuck in one position for a bit too long.
What helped me - was I stopped looking to be happy. I stopped trying to find where happiness was.
Instead - I focused on touch - on sensation. When I could finally get out of bed and have a shower - I took a long one and just stood under the spray of water - just feeling it on my body.
One day I had a bath. And I just focused on the sensation of my hands and feet floating in the water.
Another day I sat outside in my coat and scarf - but felt the sun shining and warming my skin, where it touched.
Then I started noticing that I wasn't feeling depressed when I felt these things. I wasn't feeling 'happy'. But for those brief moments - I felt calm. I felt content. So I focused on remembering those feelings.
Then when someone would pull out in front ofme on the road. Yes, iI'd be annoyed - but I no longer focused on that one small negative of my day. Instead I focused on thise 3 or 4 calm and content moments.
I think maybe this is how we train our brain.
And I do have moments of happiness some days. But most of the time - I'm simply content. And to me - tgat is perfect.
I hope this helps in some way

[Former-Member]

Nighty night. Sleep well. 😴💕

[pip]

Hi @oceangirl. The lack of energy is part and parcel of depression. When you lack energy, you get depressed because you lack energy. We frequently hear how we should just make an effort, that can be 'mission impossible' when we lose the motivation. Motivation is where we get the energy to simply get through the day, the motivation is found where you feel peaceful and harmonious. Once you feel that inner peace, your motivation to work, get up, go for walk, whatever, returns and you start to function. Some women thrive on housework (don't ask me how), their inner peace is found in housework. Some people find it through church, I am not a church goer (was) but the church's teachings had me questioning, so I left. When you start questioning and not getting satisfactory answers, time to resume the search. That in itself often brings on the inner peace because you lose yourself in searching, therefore the depression has nothing to 'feed' on. Depression feeds on lack of inner peace.

[Retrogirl]

Thanks for these thoughts @pip I think this what my problem is, no inner peace. This year has been a series of upheavals. Sold my lovely home, downsized to another. Closed my little shop, and moved to a workshop where I feel I have no purpose. Finding it difficult to communicate with my husband/business partner without getting into a fight and it ending in tears and silence. Drinking too much again! I was on antidepressants last year following the death of my first husband but went off them due to weight gain. Thinking I need a visit to my GP 😞

[pip]

@Retrogirl. Your life sounds quite tumultuous with everything you've been experiencing. Did you intend downsizing or was this something you had no control over? If you had no choice, this will not enhance your depression. I think a visit to your Dr is a great first choice. With AD's, weight gain is inevitable, quite often one of the side effects with AD's is a tendency to constantly eat. I'm actually a recovering alcoholic so I can relate also to your need for drink to numb the emotional pain. However the after effects of drink is not something I enjoyed. If you are placed on AD's again, one thing that helped me overcome the 'munchies' as I referred to constantly eating was to go for a walk or drink copious amounts of water. I don't like water, but you won't gain too much weight and water is beneficial. Are you seeing a counsellor/psych to get some strategies for dealing with your mood swings, (depression can cause severe mood swings). Also trying to communicate with someone who is arguing is hard when we're not feeling well. Have you considered 'couples counselling'. My ex and I fought over everything, he had a patronizing tone which I resented. We are both pig-headed which he (of course) denied. He also had this annoying way of sounding 'perfect' when he talks. I was married 25 years, left him at the end of last year. He refused point blank to even consider counselling.