Over The Edge

[Owlunar]

Aw @Former-Member

That is no good - I hope the doctor is able to help - and that you feel better soon - it's better he's coming to see you than you taking an upset tummy down to the clinic

Take the time you need to recover and rest up

Dec

[Maggie]

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member ..... ❤️💕

[Former-Member]

Hi @Maggie@Owlunar@Faith-and-Hope and all

I am not good today. My husband received his blood results and his cancer psa has gone up. I have been fragile as you all know and, I am not coping real well, This is making my husband worse so is a real catch 22. My good friend criticised me the other day for something trivial, so I don't trust to go to her. I feel I am losing everything. And this is the day I am suppose to sign for my dream home. Husband now wants to put it off. He has lost faith in me and my world is falling apart. I know I have to be strong. I am so tired of being alone in this.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs @Former-Member ......💜💐💕

Hearing you and sitting by you ......

[Owlunar]

Aw @Former-Member

This is not at all good - to make it easier to comment I thought I would break this down a little

1. Your husband's cancer PSA has gone up

2. You are fragile and not coping well which is making your husband worse

3. You feel as if you are losing everything

4. Your husband wants to put of signing up for your dream home

5. Your husband has lost faith in you.

6. Your world is falling apart

7. You are tired of being alone in all of this

8. Your good friend criticised you for something trivial and you don't feel as if you can trust her

That is a lot OTE

I can understand that your husband doesn't want to make a commitment right now with this increase and set-back with his cancer and I am emotionally fragile at times so I understand how devastating all of this is - and it seems that your husband has lost faith in you - that is a real toughie - no wonder you feel as if your world is falling apart,

Your good friend has been critical - leave that for now - the problems revolved around your husband's cancer and that is a serious situation - and of course you are tired - what can you do? 

There used to be an advertisement that read "Cancer is a word - not a sentence" I think people think differently now - and you are alone with this esp more so if your husband is losing faith in you

This is so hard OTE. What more can you do? This seems so unsettling - I think it will take time to sort yourself out here

I don't know what to say really - except that I think the way you are feeling in the face of all of this is a pretty normal way to feel - horrible - yes - but entirely natural

Take care to look after yourself through all of this - 

Dec

  

[Former-Member]

Hi @Owlunar - is is so hard. I think in this situation there is no alternative but just to be strong. The frightening part is I am that person whose loved one is ill and is standing there in the hospital all alone - even if the worse case scenario is taking place. And for me that is the hardest thing to deal with and which I don't cope with too well. But you may be right, it could be a normal distressful feeling. If I had a wish right now it would not be money - it would be to have someone there helping me through. I just need to accept what is is what is. I am alone. I won't say how I am feeling right now about that as it's all too painful.

Normally I would look at this as a challenge to overcome. But today I am weak and frightened and overwhelmed with sadness. So it's one foot in front of the other until I adjust somwhat.

This shoukd of been the happiest day of my life - and I have been robbed. I am still going ahead with the sale as even if worse comes to worse I can sell at a profit. I am leaving shortly to see my solicitor - hope he does not note my distress. Can't show that in this world. I just wish it was a bad dream I could walk right out of. Thank you for being there and listening my friend. xx 

[Maggie]

@Former-Member I have been thinking of you today but have not been on line much, in a ditch myself. I'm so sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis, but I'm pleased you are going ahead with signing for the dream home. Life can be so terribly unfair. All I can do is send warm wishes and sit with you. Here to listen if you feel,like talking. Take care.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sending you hugs @Former-Member .... ❤️💕

[Former-Member]

Hi @Maggie@Faith-and-Hope@Owlunar

@Faith-and-Hope - such a comforting pic....I can feel that hug. I will be looking at that a lot tonight. Hugs do more for me than any sedative etc every has or ever will. It speaks volumes and is so healing. Thank you.

@Maggie - sorry to read that you are also in a ditch. I hope you are feeling better tonight. I just arrived home from the solicitors. We were talking to him for "2 hours". Not all about the contract but life in general. He is one of the nicest people I have ever met. Very honest. That session would of normally cost "a fortune". But he is so reasonable.

Our contract was 700 pages long. I kid you not. And I had to try and take that in under duress. Not easy but did get somewhere. It looks like we will be moving forward with it after having some questions answered under advice (from solicitor). We have signed but not exchanged as yet - that should happen very soon before we are gazumpted again.

It's not a straight forward purchase - the developers are Chinese investors and it is their legal way and interests or the highway. On the flip side we are getting a nice house and position that is emotively nearly impossible to refuse. My dream. Our solicitor is looking out for us the best he can. He did comment that this country has "been taken over economically". Probably not news for a lot of us.

We should get a very nice home and location/investment in the end. But it's nerve wrecking, even my solicitor became frazzled. Will be glad when we exchange.

Now to get my head together to be strong for my husband and daughter. Neurosis is raising its head in me at the moment (a result of childhood abuse that I still have to deal with when under extreme stress). Trying not to turn to meds which are great short term with me, but not long. I have had in the past work colleagues offer to "sit with me at home" when the going gets tough. But I am afraid to show anyone my anxiety as in the past I have been judged. So am reluctant to accept this sort of help - which ironically is exactly what I mean. I don't want to lose their respect, as those moments are not my strongest. And I am still fragile and shaky. 

Sorry for the long post. It's living moment to moment presently. If I think ahead I will come underdone. Just need to get through this contract business and my husband's specialist visit at the hospital this week and I should then be able to breathe again. This should be our time to be happy and somehow under the circumstances I have to make it happen. Anxiety is my biggest enemy at the moment. Thank you all for being there as it is helping. Lots of love