Aw @Former-Member

This is not at all good - to make it easier to comment I thought I would break this down a little

1. Your husband's cancer PSA has gone up

2. You are fragile and not coping well which is making your husband worse

3. You feel as if you are losing everything

4. Your husband wants to put of signing up for your dream home

5. Your husband has lost faith in you.

6. Your world is falling apart

7. You are tired of being alone in all of this

8. Your good friend criticised you for something trivial and you don't feel as if you can trust her

That is a lot OTE

I can understand that your husband doesn't want to make a commitment right now with this increase and set-back with his cancer and I am emotionally fragile at times so I understand how devastating all of this is - and it seems that your husband has lost faith in you - that is a real toughie - no wonder you feel as if your world is falling apart,

Your good friend has been critical - leave that for now - the problems revolved around your husband's cancer and that is a serious situation - and of course you are tired - what can you do? 

There used to be an advertisement that read "Cancer is a word - not a sentence" I think people think differently now - and you are alone with this esp more so if your husband is losing faith in you

This is so hard OTE. What more can you do? This seems so unsettling - I think it will take time to sort yourself out here

I don't know what to say really - except that I think the way you are feeling in the face of all of this is a pretty normal way to feel - horrible - yes - but entirely natural

Take care to look after yourself through all of this - 

Dec