Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

ps @Pokemongirl 

you have given such lovely support and advice above 🙂

lj

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Eden1919

Are these tasks scary? "life endangering" sounds like they would be, and do you have anyone to help you through them, support you right now? anyone you trust?

I have emailed you too

and as @Pokemongirl put it so well you have freewill to negotiate and if u don't like it, refuse.

[Eden1919]

My caseworker knows about the sleep but I am trying I just can't sleep and I don't feel like I need to I am really scared I am going to get sent back to hospital because of what my caseworker said and I can't go there again cause they will hurt me there and I don't know what to do I wrote a note for my caseworker but I don't know if I should give it to her or not like I don't know if I can trust her. 

[Eden1919]

They are scary but I feel like I have to do them like I don't have a choice anymore.

[Eden1919]

I checked for the email but I didn't get anything either. 

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Eden1919

if your instinct was to write your case manager a letter, to seek her support then go with that and give the letter to her. It sounds like some part of you believes she can be helpful in someway and you definetly need support at this time from someone. its too big and too tough to go through this alone 

pls look again for the email, sometimes our system is slow

[Eden1919]

I just got the email I have replied. I wrote her the note because she said I had to promise to be honest and if I wasn't she was going to talk to my mum and I don't want her doing that. I really don't know what to do I can't give her the note for a few days anyway.

[Pokemongirl]

Hi Eden,

You can't sleep and 'feel like you don't need to' are two different things.

'Feel like you don't need to' is not good in a way like i previously explained, no humans can sustain Clarity with this little amount of sleep.

If you truly don't want to 'go back to the hospital' you need something medically to induce more sleep, even in the short term.

Also, I'm worried the entities you are conversing with are not 'good'..... I say this even if they are humans. No good souls are going to use 1) emotional blackmail 2) trickery 3) disregard freedom of choice 4) using you as sacraficial or scapegoat etc and to encourage a certain action from you against you better judgement.

Sleep on it, ok? Everyone needs sleep to make better judgement.....

Remember, just as important, you also need to hold down jobs, have girlfriend/boyfriend, have a house etc etc. you have plenty of time still to do many things.....don't sacrifice some or all of the things in physical life, to fulfill demands of others that you weren't sure of the validity, feasibility, the real intentions and motivations of people/entities that you haven't met.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Eden1919

It is good to be able to talk about what is on our minds, rather than to isolate ourselves or bottle things up.  I believe that we, all beings, are a mix of good and bad, special and unique.  Its best that we carve out our own existence according to our own values. We try different things and some are wiser than others, but we often learn from our mistakes.   Sometimes the things we need to do to survive may be difficult.  Other people dont always get it. To develop trust in ourselves we need to sort out which parts of our natures to follow. 

I am not too keen on medication all the time, but I often put myself into very stressful situations so the meds help me calm down.

I dont believe we should suffer and do risky things as a penance, or to prove that we are good enough.

Keep reaching out to good spirits.

.  

[Eden1919]

i am trying to sleep really i am i just cant get my mind to settle everything is just complicated.