Coming to terms with reality

[Vanessa5]

Yes. I am off to sleep also. Thank you. I will keep writing for sure.

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Vanessa5 I am inspired by Frida K too.

@eudemonism I have to say I like your sense of humour and the way you started this thread  responding to and nurturing yourself.  It "spoke" to me. I have had to do that a lot in my life too. Nobody else bothered.  Like for about 45 years. I think that is pretty patient and it was people in the system .. cos nice people have too many worries looking nice, to actually be nice to me..

I have had to work hard to manage my feelings of betrayal of the mh system towards my parents and siblings.  I kept out of it personally until recently, and am very ambivalent, but it seemed necessary.

Too many dead people is not good. 

I can get into negative cycles too, but I also notice that we all seem to use meditation and music and art to manage.

Cleaning is only good for so much and then we will compromise our immune systems ... so I have started a new hobby ... growing good bugs . .. ferrmenting ... it seems to make food taste better ..???.

I just thought I would say hello.  I have posted around on the site for a long time, so you might already know lots of things about me.

I like the "pork chop" saying ... I heard it first as an adult ... and then decided I better buy some so I "got" it.  They are yum too. I now eat them occasionally ... all started trying to understand Australian saying.

Hello @Adek 

We are all doing the best to paddle our boats with the oars we recieved.

[eudemonism]

Hello @Vanessa & @Vanessa5 welcome to the thread. And hi again @Appleblossom and @Neo youre welcome to contribute. And @Former-Member plus hello to a few others who contributed earlier! I'll look through the thread and tag you... @Shaz51

I hope youre all feeling at peace and at ease.
I hope youre all managing well.
& have a good day...

Its good to read some new contributions. And read about different prospectives on someones personal experiences of their illness. It makes me feel less alone and less isolated because of my own illness. (Which is a daily battle to be up against ) just the other day... i thought to myself... hang on! Ive let my illness start controlling again and it has become the pivotal focus of my mind. (Perhaps because of a traumatic anniversary)...

It really aint pleasant to be continually put through suffering and torment because of a mental illness. And after 12+ years. I will say... i dont think its going to go away. So better buckle up for the ride.

It all makes sense Vanessa. Sounds like youre very aware and alert of what the illness is doing to you. And like you know what needs to be done to minimize the impact on your life. And what youre wanting to get on with in life. The simple and the little things is what needs to be got right. And then everything else falls into place. Very hard when youre talking about simple and little things of the mind. It taks patience, time and support.

Its cold, windy and wintery here today. So its a case of one foot after the other. Think about what options are available. And choose what i want to do. -the option of attending church occurred to me. Or, visiting a friend. Or inviting a friend around. Walking the dog. But have backed down from them.

I usually wake up feeling very miserable! And unless i got something i can confidentiality do. Which is good for me. I back down and retreat from all the ideas i have. Its a case of "recluse mode " because everything is too hard to face.....
Now, let's talk options... insteadof procrastination...

Visit mum and dad for cuppa. (Get me and dog out of house for 45 mins ) breathing space, fresh air, help them -help me, revitalize )
Visit a friend. (Chat, coffee, cigarette, small walk )
Call a friend. (Drive to beech, and walk )
Walk with dog. Around the block. Or to beech.
Drive with dog. To the parking bay bye the seaside.
Go to church service. Be around people.
Buy coffee and go sit on the bench down bye the foreshore. With dog.

All confidence building, life giving and motivation increasing activities. Chemical giving.

Then after i done one of these things. I'd feel much better about being cooped up for rest of day. Gotta ease myself into this process. Or none of it happens. For themoment its coffee, couch time and ciggies.

Afterward i could shower, eat food, journal entry, art and design. Plan for next outing.

I think the list of negative thinking patterns helps me in times like this. So i can see what im doing to myself. And change my ways.

Will hear from you all before to long

[Vanessa5]

Good morning! Hello @Appleblossom @Neo And @Former-Member plus hello others I'll tag you also... @Shaz51 @eudemonism @Former-Member. Thanks for the warm welcome on cold winters day!

[Vanessa5]

Buy coffee and go sit on the bench down bye the foreshore. With dog. Definitely sounds useful. The sound of the waves would be relaxing and have a gentle meditation aspect to it. Soothe the mind if your thoughts are racing. Take a few deep breaths of the salty air. Also good for you. If you feel you need company though, a visit to mum and dads for the interaction might be just the thing also.

[Vanessa5]

I'm going to get some art supplies. Hopefully if the right shop is open on a Sunday and they have what I need. Probably get attacked by voices. Started already. The Poli thinks it's a waste of time and the art critic is arguing with him. Grrr..."J" thinks I'm thinking about a cigarette, when I've already said I've QUIT. "T" is telling me I look gross today and I've said who cares I look that way everyday lol! I'm determined to get my art supplies so what any of them are saying will not stop me leaving he house lol! Just gotta fight the good fight. I deal with the paranoia when I get to the shop somehow? Pushing forward.

[eudemonism]

And @Adek i forget to mention you. Hope all is well in between yourself and reality

[Former-Member]

good morning reality friends

@eudemonism @Vanessa5 @Adek @Appleblossom 

not too windy today so walk for me then I am off to visit my mum who is in a nursing home

@eudemonism you have some great ideas there,  a well thought out plan

I wonder if you just took two things out of the list....as Vanessa suggested beach with dog because yes waves washing in and out, the sound, smell is very soothing..possibly have a bit of a game with the dog

...then off to your mum and dad's after... you would then be more refreshed and calmer to visit family which as much as we love one another can be taxing with their expectations

@Vanessa5 lovely to see you again....I thought you would relate well

@Adek what are you up to  today....any plans no matter how minute?

@Appleblossom you bring some valuable ideas to the thread...hope that things are a little calmer in your life

well no procrastinating isn't that right? off of here now

ciao

[eudemonism]

Sounds good @Vanessa5 i visited mum and dad and talked about some stuff. Was a good break from being in my own mind with my own issues ruminating. I myself have been meaning to get some pastels, crayons and good paper for about 3 years now. But havent gotten around to it. I have bucket loads of pencils, textas and a bit of paint. But in all honesty. I really love my pastels and crayons. Its good to hear you getting art supplies.
The weather is really not pleasant here today... so maybe the coffee on the bench will have to wait until another day. Instead i may visit a friend...
Relaxing with a coffee right now... (in the dim lit lounge room ) and thinking about venting to my journal about sone issues... (a laptop... i write a page and title it... and do it three or four times and save it to the collection...) also been meaning to get a good diary...)

I find it helps when im hearing voices or having paranoia and delusions. Too, overpower them with positive, faith based self talk. And get behind the issues that are causing them. And defuse them. You know, changing that way of thinking. And also sometimes facing the issue they are revolved around. And putting at ease the fears that develop from them. As hard an confronting as it can be. *which i never really find the proper truth for* I find it helps. And some days were just destined to bad.

Hope it all works out well for you... peace be with you...

[eudemonism]

Yep im hearing@mohill have already achieved one big thing today. Not sitting down at my desk and about to do an entry. And too everyone else on the thread. Sorry i cant be a more interpersonal writer for all of you. I just hope what your reading gives inspiration, revitalization and fresh ideas for your own journey through mental illness.