Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi @Maggie 

thanks for the cuppa. I needed one!!!

i saw the surgeon and he's not happy thst I'm in psin still. He said I should be able to do a lot mire without psin after 6 weeks. It's now 8 weeks. He ordered an ultrasound and hand therapy. I had the ultrasound straight away. I was lucky walked in and they did it straight away. But it took 2 sonographers to fi the ultrasound. Then they called the radiologist to do it and all I coukd understsbd was thst there is swelling or thickness. Then they decided to do the other hand to compare and took photos. I said to the lady "Hope I don't need surgery again" her response was "oh well just wait for the surgeon "

I reckon they know something but can't tell me. 

if I need surgery again I'll be really anxious and upset. I can't have mire time off. 
I have to ring surgeon tomo for results. I'm stressing. If it should be better then why isn't it. There is still a bit of swelling. 
Hi 👋 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @MDT @Shaz51 @Owlunar 

[MDT]

👋 @BlueBay
Hey friend. Sorry not at all good atm

[Jynx]

Hey @MDT sorry to hear you're doing it tough at the moment. Just want you to know we're here if you need 

[outlander]

im sorry surgery might be another possibility @BlueBay i unfortunalty might need surgery too. its not easy to sit with but i guess if it will help to improve lifes quality then its worths a go.

also well done for getting to work today for the second day. you should be proud of yourself

[MDT]

Thanks @Jynx

[BlueBay]

Just checking to see if I can post here now 

hi @PlantLover 

[BlueBay]

hi @MDT @outlander @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Owlunar 

Ok so it seems to be working now !!!

it doesn't hrlp when I was feeling really depressed last night and couldn't post it in here. 
I was so mad. I was in a really bad place last night. No one at home could decide on dinner. And that annoyed me because it's assumed that I'm the one that should know what's for dinner. I had been all afternoon at group therapy and I struggled there too. My dsughter decided to have tske awsy and littke A coukd have nuggets and chips. I joined her. Other son said he'll do his own. Hubby (mr pain) says oh no I don't want take away. He'll do something. The one time he decides to have salmon for dinner. At no point did he ask me Whst I wanted fir dinner. Anyway I got angry. 
it doesn't matter. I get angry because he could have said ok I'll make dinner for you too. But oh no. 
It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have put it in here. 

I don't want to go to wirk. I feel like I'm wasting my time been there. 

im talking rubbish. Better go. 

[BlueBay]

I wish I could stay in bed and not see anyone or go anywhere. 
I wish I could disappear 

it's my burthday on Monday and I don't wNt to be here anymore 

I've been thinking about this all week 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @BlueBay .... it sounds like anxiety is really getting to you at the moment.  It's pretty awful in my situation too, and I feel like I am not being listened to or respected by people who are very close relationships to me ..... I hear you Hon ❣️

When it feels like everything is going wrong, and everything is too hard to face, it can be really helpful to break it down into big things and small things ..... otherwise everything feels like a big thing, whether it is or not.

if you take a piece of paper (turn it sideways to give you wider columns) and divide it into three columns .... label the first one "big", the second one "not-so-big", and the last one "small".  Then decide where all of the things causing you anxiety in your life fit into this table.

That can start to give you perspective around what the big things are that are sending you into a spin and causing you to want to shut down.

The next thing is to take a highlighter, or marker, and work out what you can fix quite easily by changing something or going around it.  Highlight those.  Then put a dot next to things that are a bit harder to change, but still doable.  The things that are left are the ones to discuss with your therapist, doctor, family, whoever else can help you work at changing them.

Giving yourself that view of what is happening can help you sort the big issues from the small ones and give you more perspective, and more feelings of control over some of the things in your life that are all mushed together in your thoughts and feelings at the moment.

Hugs and hugs @BlueBay .... keep swimming Hon.  I am telling myself the same thing.

💙💙💙

[Windsong]

I am sad you feel this way, I get like this also, I end up feeling like a wound up toy and so body sick and scattered. At times from the momement, I wake up, I want night to come.
I hold on to promise of a new dawn, which holds , hope . Happy birthday for tomorrow. If you have a pet , snuggle up.