Forums Home

Carers Forum

Acceptance, connection, support. Share the journey.

Safe, anonymous discussion for people living with mental illness, moderated 24/7 by mental health professionals.

Read the community guidelines
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Highlighted
Contributor

What to do

My Bro3 called by after dark last night, agitated and pacing. Made him cuppa and tentatively tried to talk... you see, he suffers paranoid schizophrenia (foil lined house and all) and my 'help' suggestions only seem to agitate him. He gambles his pension away and engages in substance abuse, mostly grass. He's on CTO monthly injection (which frankly do not work - his paranoid delusions remain powerful). But last night his pacing made me fear for my safety as he's always wanting money. Only last week I bought him new tyres & paid his rego Greenslip... and here he was wanting more 😞 .Turns out he hocked our late mother's gold necklace and wants me to get it out - $400 as he's gonna lose it Smiley Sad. How could he do that!! Its hard holding in the frustration. He gave me the hock docket but but to my horror he pulled out x6 or 7 more dockets he's juggling. The necklace alone is costing him $75month 😳

He refuses to get gambling counseling because they won't treat the 'real' broblem... which he believes is the people & gov daily targeting him with high tech lazor beams planted in his neighbours homes...  MH imposed antipsychotic injections that he says take away his impulse control... Also, he's really scared they'll put him on a Welfare Card where he can't even get smokes... 

ITS SO EXHAUSTING TO LISTEN TO WHILE PUSHING DOWN MY OWN FEELINGS, NEEDS (so not to trigger him)... Said he hadn't eaten all day so we had soup & toast together, and I gave him all the cash I had $22 

I can't handle it

 

11 REPLIES 11

Re: What to do

@Darcy  ?

Re: What to do

I really dont have any experience in relation to these matters. I would suggest you contact your brother's MH treatment team @AK100  and let them know what is happening re: impulse control. (As far as I can work out there is one LAI AP that has this side effect along with akithesia and it may be possible he is being given it - if so there are a couple of other options which may or may not have been tried). 

 

Gambling is a tough one and  problem gamblers often resort to stealing, it would be unusual for a mother to give a son their jewelry,  public trustee may or may not be a helpful option in relation to his financial management

 

Gamblers anonymous provide family support and they may be helpful here is link https://gamblershelp.com.au/get-help/families-and-friends/

 

Social supports can make a huge difference for patients with Sz,  the treatment team may have a social worker to assist in relation to this, I suspect NDIS might be the way this is now provided.

 

I am hoping that others with more experience with this may respond to you.

Re: What to do

Hi @AK100, sounds like you had a tough night and it does sound like a situation where you can be allowed to be upset over. Please remember that your feelings are extremely valid, and while you are trying to avoid triggering your brother, you should be able to recognise them. @Darcy provides some great advice about getting in touch with your brother's MH team - they may not know about his impulse control issues and may be able to address them. How has your day been today?

Re: What to do

Thank you @Darcy  and @Ali11 

Last time I tried to talk with my brother's MH team case manager, they refused to converse with me without Bro3 permission and he refused to give it. The system shuts out families. However, I will try  again, maybe write a letter. Also, this week there was a major police incident in Bro3 street, a death, and police interviews. Stress - that's adding to his financial black hole mystery.

I do have enough of my own life challenges atm, like moving house, he doesn''t help... .. I fear we'll lose him but I have to distance to hold my own. We all grew up with abuse and damaged by iti when it gets too much for me i get SI depression.

He refuses counselling at the.moment.

It didn't occur to me the necklace might be stolen, and not my mum's. I'll save 400 and let it go. 

I hope he doesn't stoop to violence or self harm. He gets so upset, cries a lot, says "they're" k#lling him and nobody will believe him... 

I met with a friend for morning tea and was able to tell someone I felt scared around my bro... helps, and chatting here helps too, ta 😞

Re: What to do

@AK100 , without his permission, the treating team cannot give information, but they can receive it from you and I would encourage you to put the info in writing to them

 

Re: What to do

Glad you were able to speak with your friend about what's going on @AK100, and of course you can always find someone on here who will listen and support Heart That paranoia must be very difficult to see in someone you love so much, and it's a shame he won't let the MH team meet with you. It sounds like it would be helpful for him to speak to someone, but in the meantime you need to look after your own emotional wellbeing. Sending love, and hope you're having a good day

Re: What to do

Hi @AK100, just wondering how you are doing this week. Let us know! Heart

Re: What to do

Thanks for the 'callout' @Ali11 

I'm not doing too good. Figgting Some dark thoughts with big life changes, but holding together, sorta...

Bro3 was here again today, less agitated this time, hinted, but didn't ask for money, 

Cooked up a yummy macaroni cheese with tuna. Which he actually tx thanked me for later.

 

Re: What to do

@AK100 Sorry to hear you are not doing too good. Big life changes are incredibly stressful on top of the concern you were already experiencing, but you don't have to 'hold it together' or go through it alone. Is cooking one of your coping strategies? It sounds like you make a wonderful macaroni cheese.

How did you feel after your brother was over?

For urgent assistance, call: