Lived Experience Forum

[Bridgetjones]

My boyfriend tries to control the clothes I wear and makes nasty comments because I dont dress as he sees that a woman should. I dont like to wear dresses and skirts for different reasons. Much prefer to wear pants all the time. I see that the way my boyfriend is is controlling and have told him that but he rarely gets or understands what I say to him regarding his judgemental comments. His sense of dress isnt that great. He is often unkempt and smelly. The relationship isnt satisfying to me physically or intellectualy but I put up with him because its soooo hard for me to find someone new.

[utopia]

@Bridgetjones. Why do you need to find someone new? That comment worries me.
Your boyfriend is a control freak. Bet he wants a say in who you hang out with too.
I'd say leave. He has no respect for you and your opinions.
How about having some time without a man in your life. Spend time with friends. Enjoy yourself. Learn knew things.
By going straight from one relationship to another, you risk ending up with another controlling guy.

[mrkotter]

@utopia is on the money here. Get out and go enjoy being single for awhile. There isn't anything wrong with that and often people learn a lot about themselves when they can focus on just them.

[utopia]

@Bridgetjones. I forgot to tell you the most important thing. YOU are way to good for this guy. And one day you will find the guy who is wworthy enough of your love.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bridgetjones  I stayed with a guy who wasn't right for me at all, because I couldn't cope with the thought of being alone.  Trust me, it's much better to be alone, than with a guy who isn't treating you nicely.

Once you get some confidence and good self-esteem, you'll find the right person.

You'll look back and think, "what the heck was I doing with him".  

Don't waste your life with the wrong person, who is bringing you down.  

Look forward to hearing from you again.   

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia    Hello @mrkotter.  I haven't met you yet.  

[utopia]

Hi @Former-Member. How are you today? I hope you are well

[Former-Member]

My ex was a bit like that, started buying me new clothes that he said was more 'appropriate' and make up (I rarely wear make up). He would sulk or get snippy if I didn't wear what he preferred. He ended up being physically abusive and other abuses.. Don't settle. You deserve to be you in any relationship. Being on your own is hard but has its advantages too.
Good luck
Lj

[Former-Member]

@utopia. Bit of a topsy turvy day. Emotional rollercoaster. Wrote things down to mention to psychogist on Friday. Really ready for it. Hate having this inner anger and frustration inside. I know where it comes from, need a bit of help though. Feel bit better now after few tears. Thanks for asking.

How have you been? I might have to read your answer tomorrow though, sorry, I'm so tired, can hardly think. Hope that's not rude. I am really interested and care about how you're going. 😊😴💜

[Former-Member]

@utopia I spelt psychologist wrong. 😀