Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

I've had trust issues ALL my life because of an abusive past. But it seems EVERYTIME I take the plunge and trust, eventually I get hurt. I've tried to be a loyal caring friend and always make excuses for there's and my shortcomings.....BUT......I'm scared to even think of friendship/relationship of any kind now. I'm sick of being dumped without being given a reason. Trying to work it out is torment and I'll never really know anyway as I can't see into someone's mind. Some days it's just too hard to keep going, even just one small step at a time. This is bizarre as I don't expect anyone to answer so why write...well maybe to prove my point....I really don't know. Now to face the day...

[Former-Member]

Hello @Maggie

I hear you, I care. I don't know you but I feel a link due to the trust issues, as I know mine have made me very alone. I think my answer to your question 'Does anyone ever really care, is yes. My question would be, 'how do you learn to trust again, when trust is so easily broken?'

Sending you gentle hugs, as I wish I could receive myself.

[Maggie]

Thankyou @Former-Member. Gentle hugs back, if you can receive them.

[Kurra]

How are you today @Maggie? I'm asking because I care about you. Hugzzz 💕 🎶💕

[Maggie]

Hi @Kurra just making it through at the moment but I appreciate you asking. How are you going? I'll spent some time later and find you both elsewhere on the forum and get to know you. I'm just finding words hard to come by, scared of saying the wrong thing. Hope your day goes as well as it can.

[Kurra]

I'll get back to you later @Maggie. I'm late for work. Very late! 💕🎶💕

[Kurra]

Hi @Maggie

I'm going pretty well all in all. I've copped a couple of very nasty physical diagnoses recently but mentally I'm really well.

I have a long-term history of bipolar type 1 but after 26 years of compliance with medications and other treatments the pdoc believes this illness has burnt out. It's a long ride. For many years it really was about just getting through another day so I understand what you're saying.

How are you feeling this evening? 💕🎶💕

[Maggie]

Hi there @Kurra, I was diagnosed with BIpolar 1 and took meds for years. I did a lot of research and decided I didn't have that particular disorder though similar symptoms. I get the swings in activity alright, but my mood always remains low. The meds didn't work, that was why I researched. I have other.diagnosis but can't find a med to help. It's a battle alright.

You say you've copped a couple of nasty physical diagnosis lately, sorry to hear that. I hope you can get them sorted. Glad you are travelling well mentally at present, a nice break in the journey.

It's extra hard going for me as I have a friend going through some really tough stuff. Trying to be there for her and battling my own path gets exhausting. I wouldn't have it any other way though, I will be there for her, hope to be strong enough. Life is challenging. 

Hope you weren't too late for work and that now you can put your feet up and rest. Thanks so much for caring.

[Kurra]

Late @Maggie? Only 4 hours 😳 I'm going in tomorrow to catch up on a heap of stuff I should have done today.

There's so many new meds out there now. What do you reckon your diagnosis should be?

[Maggie]

@Kurra I have DID severe depression and anxiety, as far as mood swings go I have no idea, I just ride them out, clean garden walk till I'm out of energy.

Back to work tomorrow for you, only 4 hrs late, well done, are you the boss?????

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