Lived Experience Forum

[Shahid1]

Hi...i dont really know who im writing to or how this really works..but i need help. Everyday is a struggle. I havent been diagnosed with anything..actually the doctors almost laugh at me. I am 35 yo male with wife and kids. I started having a weird feeling a number of years ago which felt like i was having a heart attack or stroke only to find there was nothing. This has now advanced to constantly tensing up no matter how i sit, lay or stand. I cant work because i cant be around people. Almost like im scared of dying. Ive lost count of times ive been having conversation with someone and mid sentence something comes over me like i cant talk and it feels like im going to pass out. Sometimes i get a big rush..like a hot feeling from head to toe.<br>This feeling happens everyday now. And not just once. Its constant. From the second i open my eyes to the second i fall asleep that night i feel like im dying. I feel sorry for my wife and kids...i am snappy at them often and they dont realise why..... a medication from the benzodiazepine family helps temporarily but sometimes doesnt work at all. So sometimes i resort to codeine or paracetamol which also sometimes takes the edge off but once again sometimes doesnt. But i cant keep living like this. I cant keep taking tablets to try feel NORMAL....I need help.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Shahid1,

Welcome to the forum. I don't experience exactly what you describe but do relate to experiencing something like this from time to time as part of my condition. It sounds like a very painful condition for you to experience so frequently and debilitating. One thing you may wish to consider is asking a GP to refer you to a psychiatrist for a better diagnosis and possible treatment for this. Or if you wish to take no medications, a GP referral to a psychologist would be a better way to go. Please feel free to keep posting. There is a good, regular community of people here who support each other through all varieties of mental health conditions. Kind wishes.

[Shahid1]

Thanks for your suggestions..but unfortunately ive exhausted all these options. The last time i went to a psychiatrist (2 months ago) they prescribed me an anti psychotic which put me in hospital. I had a dystonic reaction. I also regularly see a psychologist but thats just lip service too..dont get me wrong its great for a chat..but it doesnt fix the problem....and yes DEBILITATING is a great word for what i have...i used to be normal beleive it or not...i was a popular artist ..i performed around the world in front of thousands. Now i cant perform the task of going shopping without stuttering my words at the counter and feeling like im gonna drop dead. Ive had every blood test known to man...CT, EEG, MRI...and nothing...absolutely nothing...words cant explain my frustration..id do myself in if i was a weak person but im just waiting around with a poor quality of life waiting to die. I feel 85 but im 35... this really, really sux.

[Sangel]

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@Shahid1 wrote:

Hi...i dont really know who im writing to or how this really works..but i need help. Everyday is a struggle. I havent been diagnosed with anything..actually the doctors almost laugh at me. I am 35 yo male with wife and kids. I started having a weird feeling a number of years ago which felt like i was having a heart attack or stroke only to find there was nothing. This has now advanced to constantly tensing up no matter how i sit, lay or stand. I cant work because i cant be around people. Almost like im scared of dying. Ive lost count of times ive been having conversation with someone and mid sentence something comes over me like i cant talk and it feels like im going to pass out. Sometimes i get a big rush..like a hot feeling from head to toe.<br>This feeling happens everyday now. And not just once. Its constant. From the second i open my eyes to the second i fall asleep that night i feel like im dying. I feel sorry for my wife and kids...i am snappy at them often and they dont realise why..... a medication from the benzodiazepine family helps temporarily but sometimes doesnt work at all. So sometimes i resort to codeine or paracetamol which also sometimes takes the edge off but once again sometimes doesnt. But i cant keep living like this. I cant keep taking tablets to try feel NORMAL....I need help.

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Hi Shahid..Yes this is something that I have experienced to some degree.Its called High Anxiety. I use to experience HA with various people and in certain situations and I found that my heart pain was associated with certain persons and other pains with situations ? I feel that  your feelings of dying could be that you are so caught up with everyones problems that you cannot find time to think ,or have me  time from the every day stresses and other persons caught up in your life? I use to get a big rush and look like a beetroot then break out in this rash which would fade after I took up deep breathing and meditation. There is alot of hype on the Internet of doom and gloom so dont get caught up in this as u will be worse off.You would be wise to re visit your GP who might be able to give you an anti depressant .You might say "but I am not depressed " but we all lack a bit of Seritonum when we are under so much stress and anxiety and you are only replacing what you dont have enough of.When you feel back on top of things the GP can slowly take you off them..Give it a good 6 months and like me will feel ok! You can also go onto a mental Health Plan and the Government supports you with Psychology ,unless you have a Priest or ? who can spare time with you I believe you will find this so beneficial ...Did you know that GP's have what they call The Doctors Doctor! that they see as well because they dont have all the answers either and need to offload to some one too!..No I am not a GP.. but there is no stigma attached when seeing someone.. so.. the world is your oyster you are the Pearl .I senseYour family do love you and would be lost without you...Be Happy.

[Former-Member]

Hi Shahid1. Sorry to hear about your struggles. I have had similar symptoms at times. For a while there I was experiencing them often.
I also went to different doctors, had blood tests etcetera.
I understand why you don't want to go to another psychiatrist. I feel the same. Last year I decided to go to one. She prescribed a few meds. All made me feel worse. I dont take any of them.
I have PTSD as well as other health issues.
I hope you find an answer. 

[Shahid1]

Thankyou...yea i guess i kinda feel like my serotonin might be depleted...the feeling i have is almost like my brain is out of battery if that makes any sense

[Shahid1]

Bridget....thats EXACTLY what the hot flush feels like...and its followed by a pressure in my head...like somethings gonna burst with that "swooshing" sound or feeling..... my eye sight goes a bit funny too

[Shahid1]

I have tried every anti depressant on the planet too i think and everything always just gets worse or weird

[Former-Member]

Were you under alot of stress when these symptoms started happening, or did something traumatic happen? Please don't feel you have to tell me everything, but feel free to if you want to. 😊
Our body /mind reacts in different, sometimes unusual ways when we've been under alot of stress or had something traumatic happen.

[Shahid1]

I guess this all started around the time my ex left and took my kids back in 2009....after that i just drank and drugged to self medicatw whilst being pre occupied with music...but now im totally clean...no drink....i converted to a religion ... but now its just like it comes from nowhere...like there doesnt have to be a trigger...like i mentioned before, the second i open my eyes in the morn BOODOOM! heart rate goes, head starts gettin tight, by the time ive had breakfast im a wreck and the day hasnt even begun....its hell