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Senior Contributor

A New Year Begins

hello all and first, @Powderfinger  sorry I had you worried. Your chairs are AMAZING and I'm keen to hear more about your new friend with the tools.


As well as not going to the office I also took a fairly substantial "computer break" and I find replying on my phone nigh on impossible.


Christmas: I was able to convince everyone that with the border situation so volatile that we should just go and see his family for the day. Not staying with the sister lifted a whole layer of anxiety from all involved and the day was fine, if a little tiring. This year his eldest was able to share the driving with me so that made quite a difference.


My Birthday: For the first time since we've been together (this was my third birthday with him) he was out of bed and behaving like a person. The last two I've spent "nursing" him through the post-Christmas relapse. (I'm now 58 for those taking notes).


I think the last time we all spoke here I'd been advised by his new psychologist to think about responding to him as high functioning autistic rather than bipolar and WOW what a difference. It lends a completely new perspective to what I thought was coercive control.


for instance.... one day out of nowhere he blew up because I never change the toilet paper. I thought I did. A month ago I would have worried about what I had really done wrong to make him angry.. or did I forget just once and that was enough to make him want to punish me.....


......but wait.... we now apply the autism filter and I gave the situation serious thought for a couple of days. Does he feel like he is always changing the toilet roll because what I leave on the roll my brain registers as "enough for 2 or 3 more wees" and his brain sees as "not enough for a decent number 2 so why does she NEVER change the roll"?


I asked him. He had NEVER realised that a couple of dozen sheets left on the roll was usable. It had NEVER occured to him that I didn't need great handfulls of the stuff if I'd just had a pee and he thought I was leaving it there because I couldn't be bothered to change it. He was chucking away the last sheets that had been deemed "not enough". I hadn't noticed; the status of the toilet roll not being a high priority for me.


Now it's a non-issue. We both keep an eye and when it starts getting too low, one or the other of us put's what's left to one side for me to finish up while a new one is installed. 


Simple  but life-changing things. My physical symptoms are abating and I've made  himself 2 shirts, 3 teeshirts and me 2 dresses while I've been on hiatus.  And various sauces and chutneys which I gave away as gifts. 


My Cert IV in Celebrancy came through and now it takes about 3 months to register with the Attourney General's department.


Now. @Darcy @Shaz51 keen to hear about you and your misters and how you spent the festive season.. hopefully festively.

@Myboy ... self isolating? Test results? I do hope you are OK. 


much love to all



Re: A New Year Begins

Wonderful @SJT63 , had to smile, in our new old house the loo had 2x loo roll holders which I must admits make life easier 😁 but I do like to make sure the spare roll holder is full.


Gosh you have been productive with your sewing and preserving. Sounds like your canning outfit is getting a workout. All the best with your celebrancy too.  Am thinking the term  "wonder woman" might appropriate for you.


Isn't it wonderful when some stress factors are removed (blaming Covid = a silver lining). Mr Darcy certainly does better at home than when away.


Here's to hoping that communication with this new lens will continue to help you both live well in spite of a diagnosis.images - 2021-01-11T145349.565.jpeg


Re: A New Year Begins



Good to see you post. Thank you for the compliments. Woodworking on hold while I sort other pressings things out. Still will continue with it but am thinking more along the lines as a hobby for me rather than a full time job. I'm going through major life changes at the moment and they are changing me too. I'm very scrambled and very tired. I haven't been posting as much as I used too. 

Re: A New Year Begins

Hello @SJT63 

Hoping things are still on the improve for you?

Hello to all here too

@Darcy @Powderfinger 👋🌻🌼


Re: A New Year Begins



he's a bit manic at the moment... harping on about old grievances he feels are still unresolved... but I'm coping much better because I have a better insight into what is driving it and I've stopped trying to fix everything. I'm engaging less in the fantasy revenge plotting by not pointing out the flaws in his strategy and it turns out that when he calms down again he sees those flaws himself and we've avoided cross words between us.


He is trying and one cannot ask for more than that.


What about you???? 


I'm always keen to  hear how others are fairing.


much love

S x

Re: A New Year Begins

That sounds very sensible @SJT63 

It is very much a balancing act onmout behalf isn't it?!

My boy is travelling reasonably well at the moment. We still have lows and highs but they aren't low low or high high if that makes sense?

Sending you love 😘❤️

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