Battles

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 yes it's good when we can understand why we have the thoughts that we do. It doesn't stop us completely from thinking those things but we can sometimes challenge it. It's incredibly exhausting to have that internal argument, I have that every day of my life. Yes that Homer Simpson one sums it up, change is hard and overwhelming. 

Seriously why is it always on carpet, like there's so many areas that are much easier to clean but the carpet cops it 😂. I remember when one of my dogs used to sleep on my pillow and in the middle of the night she chucked up, I only realised when I went to brush my fingers through my hair and well it was disgusting 😂. My first time having a shower at 3am in the morning 😂

That's the thing you can't have a meeting about an anonymous complaint but protocol had to be followed. Nothing's been resolved so it's incredibly frustrating. Meetings are usually on Sundays so that people who work during the week can attend. It's a volunteer organisation that I'm a part of helping get pets back home to their families if they get lost/escape.

I survived the meeting and I stayed awake but I'm so very tired today. I was going to say, I couldn't imagine talking to someone for 2 hours 😂. 

Am going to be getting kitten cuddles soon so looking forward to that. Wish I could smuggle you in. Some are only 6 weeks old so tiny little babies but there's the older ones aswell. 

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 hope the chips are decent and not soggy ones. 

The only reason I got that much sleep was cos of medication and not something that I'll be doing again cos of how it's left me feeling today. 

It's like when I get a decent amount of sleep I'm often left feeling more tired then when I only get a small amount. Think my body has gotten used to running on very little sleep. 

The iced chocolate was actually yummy, apart from the horrible paper straw to drink out of. 

You know I really don't say much intelligent sh!t, my brain don't work that way 😂. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

So I'm trying really hard to not go on a lengthyrant about paper straws.  So hard!  It's just that they...  No.  Resist the rant!  Got to my happy place.

Owww... Kittens!

Ah, that's better. What was I talking about?

It really sucks that the medication doesn't seem to be an ongoing option for you.  But as you say, you do seem to have adapted to having little sleep.  I'm really not sure how you'd still be awake at this stage if you hadn't.

There's different types of intelligent sh!t.  You don't have to write long explanations about quantum mechanics to be intelligent.  Being a compassionate, caring, and sympathetic towards others takes intelligence.  Intelligence isn't just learning a bunch of random facts, it's how we think and our ability to see outside of our own immediate needs and desires.  You have that in spades.  You always know what to write to someone.  That in itself makes you very intelligent in my eyes.  So it must be true because I'm smart as sh!t! 🤣

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 don't even get me started on the paper straw issue 😂. 

Kitten cuddles are the best 😊.

I wasn't supposed to even take medication last night but it got to 2.30am and I was done, I needed sleep. 

Very true, intelligence comes in many forms. Awww I'm going to take that compliment and run with it, cos right now it means alot to hear. I love being able to support people and offer that kindness and compassion that everyone deserves. You are definitely smart so anything that you say must be true 😂

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

If offering that support and compassion to people gives you a reason to get up every morning, then go with it.  I know i need a reason, and it's the same thing that keeps me doing it.  I honestly don't know what other reason there is left at the moment.  So even if you only have one, embrace it.

If only i could convince other people that i'm always right, it would save a lot of arguments and people storming off muttering "You win.... you're right!  Are you happy now?".  Somehow i get the feeling there's a touch of sarcasm in it, but a win's a win. 🤣

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 it really is the only thing that keeps me going at the moment. I can think of a few reasons for you, you have the forums, your partner, your support group and your beautiful cats 😊. Yes I know some days it's hard to find a reason to keep going and that's ok but there's always something there worth fighting for 😊.

Just a slight bit of sarcasm there 😂. 

I have to start cooking dinner and I just don't have the energy, why must it be so much effort 😂. 

[MJG017]

Thanks@Dreamy.  I know i have those reasons as well, but some days it just doesn't feel like enough.  The approaching inevitably of everything really does weigh heavily and can be so hard to distract myself from. But, like so many things, it's not something i can control so i try to avoid thinking about it, doesn't mean it's easy though... or even possible at times.  Thank god for cats! 😁

What did you end up having for dinner?  I might just have some toast or cornflakes later on.  That is about the amount of effort i have in me tonight.  Why does it take effort to even find the energy to make an effort? 🤣

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 completely understand. Yes the cats are a good distraction 😊. 

I made bolognase, wish i could send some to you but it might get a bit messy 😂. I only managed a couple of mouthfuls. Everything is so much effort 😂.

[Dreamy]

@tyme i got a question for you. Not sure if it's an easy one to answer but it's kind of bugging me. 

Is it normal for a crisis service to ask for specific details about an incident. Like being sexually and physically assaulted and pressing for as much detail as possible, like going into great detail about what was done to me. It's really just triggered me and I feel like I'm reliving the whole incident again.

@Jynx @Ru-bee @rav3n @MJG017 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

From what I think and what I've learnt so far, no, I don't think rhey shouldn't push you to go into details, or anything you're not comfortable going into.  They may ask specifics on what someone has been thinking, or what they've olanned in regards to harming themselves to see what sort of risk the persin is at.  But going into the sort of details you mentioned seems completely unnecessary to both offing support and determining the level of risk you may be at.  All I could see it doing is upsetting anyone, pushing for details like that, making them feel uncomfortable and possibly unsafe and would probably make them very hesitant to reach out again.

That's just how I see it anyway.  I don't see any way it would help to push for details like that.