Battles

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 it definitely made me feel very uncomfortable and now I'm left feeling very triggered and I'm struggling to calm down. I'm having vivid flashbacks now and trying to keep myself in the present moment is hard.

Even after I asked them to stop cos it was too much to talk about they kept trying. I ended up leaving the chat cos it was too much.

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I assume crisis lines are very different to peer support, but everything I've been taught so far say not to do what you mentioned.  And the reason it will make the person feel exactly how you're feeling now.

I think anyone would react the same.  You did the right thing by leaving the chat as far as I'm concerned.  I'm here if you need anything to help get yourself back in the present.

[Dreamy]

Thankyou @MJG017 trying hard to focus on things around me but things are going blurry and then all I can see is that moment and those things happening. 

I was chatting to a service not a crisis one but one I chat to regularly. I told them about what had happened and they were shocked, we ended up chatting about random things which was somewhat helping but then the flashbacks got really intense and unfortunately our time was up as they close at 11.30pm. Kind of doesn't help when you have to leave mid conversation. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

While I don't have experience with that kind of abuse myself, I can see how it would be extremely distressing to feel yourself back at those moments.  It's hard to imagine just how difficult it must be.  I'm just sorry that you, it anyone, has to spend a lifetime dealing with such a terrible thing.

Maybe think about the kittens today.  Try to go back there and be around then, watching them play and getting more cuddles.  See if you can take yourself back there.  Remember the cute little meows, the smell of them, the feel of their fur. 

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 I'm trying to think about today. It really was nice to have cuddles with them and watching them chase toys around. It's funny cos one of their cats is like a moody teenager, he's such a character. Like he will sit on your lap but you aren't allowed to touch him otherwise he groans and will try to maul you 😂. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

😆 That cat sounds just like our cats   You can pet them only until they decide to give the the sign that they have had enough. The sign is generally a savage mauling of the hand! 😂.

Luna is a bugger for it   she will snuggle up to you and can't get close enough, but occasionally will decide she wants to play and try to have a bit of a nibble.  She does alo like to wait in a bush inside adoir or behind something.  Then as you walk past she will attack your foot or shin.  We've learnt to be very careful because it's so easy to step on her if you're not careful.

Now that the temperature is getting cooler, she likes to get under the covers with me.  But she'll then wriggle around and work her way onto my stomach or chest and go to sleep there.  I have to put a hand or arm against her to make sure she doesn't slide off, but she'll happily go to sleep like that.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 cats are so funny, everything is on their terms 😂.

Luna is funny and cheeky, gotta love when they ambush you out of nowhere 😂. One of the cats likes to sit on top of a cat tower and if you walk past they will jump on your shoulder and just sit there. They all have such different personalities.

Aww having her sleep with you and having to make sure she doesn't slide off is precious. She has so much trust in you and knows that you will keep her safe ❤️. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

We have a tall cat tower in the lounge room, just next to the entrance to the kitchen.  One of the cats will lay in a slight that sticks out, about shoulder height and he will occasionally give you a little swat with his paw as you walk past.  The jumping on your shoulder is so cute though.  I so want to play with these cats!.  You're very lucky to get to do it.  I know I have 3 at home, but well, you can never have enough cats to play with, especially when they're young.

It makes you wonder how smart cats are.  2 of the cats in the enclosure at the RSPCA just stayed in their little holes and slept, but Luna just come right up to us and wanted attention.  It's like she was saying "can you please take me home with you".  And she is still so friendly.  When she's in the mood she will just want to be as close to you as she can get.  I can be sitting at my PC and she will jump onto my lap and go to sleep there.  I will need to use a hand to hold her there again, but she will.sleeo and I'm stuck using my PC with one hand. 😄

She always comes up to anyone who comes to the house as well.  The other two used to run and hide.  They're better now, but they're still very wary.  I think they just know that we've told people when they come over, if they want to see the cats you need to shake the treats bag.  Luna just likes to see the new people though.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 it's funny how they swipe you as you walk past, cheeky little ratbags. I wish I could take you there, you'd spend hours playing with them. It's one of those things where for that time all of the problems seem to just fade away. I wish I could have Luna cuddles, she is just so cute and full of character. 

Luna definitely chose you, she knew who her people were. They like to make things awkward when trying to operate things with one hand cos you need to keep one hand on them 😂.

That's like today when I first walked in a few of the cats scattered initially but the one that likes to jump on shoulders just sat there looking at me and as soon as i reached my hand out to pat her she started booping my hand with her head, she will rub her head on your face and loves to be as close as possible to you. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

Yep, we both knew when Luna cane out to us that she had chosen us and we had no choice but to take her instead. 

If they ever do a make-a-wish for fat, old blokes I'm going to choose to play with those kittens!  So if a some old weird guy in a make-a-wish tshirt turns up one day and is allowed to play with the kittens... pretend you don't know them. 🤣

I've always wanted to work somewhere like where we got Luna, and have thought about volunteering.  But I don't think I could.  I would just want to adopt them all.  Especially the older cats, because they are probably much harder to get adopted out.  When we got Roughy about 9 years ago, it was the old RSPCA place down at Lonsdale and they were all in cages.  I walked past the older cat and he walked right up to the front of the cage and wanted some attention so bad.  I felt like he was saying "please help me" and I knew that I would spend 1 shift there and come home with 10 cats or just have to quit