Battles

[Glisten]

@rav3n  I don’t ask for much out of life. A vocation that brings me happiness and an income, independence, a place to call my own, a 4x4 Ute, and an astrophysicist, anaesthetist or a real life Brigadier General Jack O’Neill to marry me.

They are my only needs 😆

[Dreamy]

@Jynx i get that it's worth a complaint and it's something I'll consider if I can find the energy to do so. 

I keep trying even when sometimes every part of me wants to give up. It's hard when that mind set goes to the thinking of 'I'm a failure at everything, I can't do anything right, I'm stupid and pathetic'. There's that tiny, tiny part of me that tries to think that maybe something will work eventually. 

That vagus nerve gets me everytime, it'svalways working against me. I sing along to every single song that comes on 😂. My radio is on all the time if I'm not watching my TV show and if the radio isn't on I'm listening to my Spotify either blasting on my speaker if I'm cleaning my house or on my ear buds if I'm doing my craft. 

My area is pretty boring, I can't put things up so it's just plain on the walls. But my table is cluttered with various craft items, there's always something within reach that i can work on if i want to. I haven't done anything today, kind of just had a day of laying on my lounge watching a movie and dozing off for a few minutes at a time. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy Ach, you are amazing. Sometimes I read your posts and just think 'wow what a legend' - I don't specifically know why, just the feeling I get 😉 

That's so awesome that you're bathed in tunes all the time. How does it tend to interplay with the flashbacks? Can music/singing serve as a tether, or is it all too overwhelming to kinda lean into that? 

[Glisten]

@Jynx  I didn’t know about the singing and Vagus nerve.

Horse Feed time can be intense. There is a hierarchy and they will kick and bite each other. Duck, weave and dodge each other. It happens fast. Especially for treats. 
300kgs of muscle that’s bigger and faster than you. They will try to bully you into submission. They will herd you in the opposite direction to stop you from leaving. Bite. Push you. Because liquorice comes out of your pocket like magic, right.

I have to hum a tune or sing a song to relax me, so I can relax them.

Which reminds me I got to go down to the bottom paddock, to check the boys.

Insane hot 🥵 weather here today.

[Dreamy]

@Jynx haha I'm far from a legend, just a person that's been and still goes through a crazy amount of sh!t that somehow manages to stay afloat. 

Somethings just happened and it's sending me spiralling out of control 😕

[rav3n]

hehe i would love for an astrophysicist or anaesthetist to marry me too. or Theo James, he's my ultimate celeb crush 😋 @Glisten i'm not familiar with Brigadier General Jack O’Neill, but i know you have great taste and he's probably the whole package. 

[rav3n]

hiyaaaa @Dreamy just read that something's happened, so sorry to hear that. whether you wanna chat about it or be distracted, let me know - i'm sitting with you 💜

[Dreamy]

@rav3n really need a distraction right now please. 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy here's a list of things to do - now we're not going to do any of them on the list (unless you want to hehe), but in an alternate world where you were looking to do something fun or try something new, which ones would you choose? are there any on the list that you've done & recommend? any you hate?

[Dreamy]

@rav3n there's lots on that list that I've done and others that I haven't and wouldn't. I can't type them out cos it's too much to go back and forth between the messages cos by the time I've read it and go to reply my brain forgets which one I wanted to write.