Lived Experience Forum

[pip]

Hi @Former-Member. I was similar to you in that I thought I had walked away from all the toxin in my life. Unfortunately, even though you had walked away, the unresolved anger you had, stayed with you. This anger makes you suspicious and you become wary even though you try to be friendly and get on, people for some reason will test you in various ways. Your bf's female relation may have been told something and suspected you told someone else something. However, a drunk is someone who can't be reasoned with, so any response would've been wrong there. The PTSD you seem to have is still very much 'alive' and needs to be addressed. Has your son definitely been diagnosed as suffering paranoid schizophrenia? Would it be possible for your psych to contact your sons treating psych and explain you are having therapy and cannot help your son atm. Your needs are important, and your son is being looked after. I think your hubby is frustrated because he can't take your emotional pain away and he is trying to support you. If you are taking AD's you need to continue for as long as necessary. The hopeless feeling is because you're a mother first and patient second. As a mother, we are not supposed to be human, we're supposed to 'be there' 24/7. When we're not, through illness unavoidable circumstances, our families fall apart because we are the 'rock' on which the family is founded. Take care of you, your son will be helped, let him get angry, let him tell you he's pissed off because (to him) you can't be trusted. He is sick and unaware of what he is saying. Just lately I've had my grown daughter lashing out at me, I've totally ignored her and visited when I could. She is receiving counseling, she is in hospital, she is safe. You are not a psych, your son needs professional help, if he has been diagnosed, chances are he will be receiving help. Tell him you love him and will see him as and when you can. don't take his frustration and anger on board. You know he doesn't know what he is saying. His illness is talking.

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member

If you feel that your son is becoming increasingly unwell and may be a danger to you or to himself, please phone the police to explain your fears and ask them to do aa welfare check. This is a standard procedure and is the best way to get help for him now as he obviously is very angry with you at the moment.
Take care and look for the book later when you've had a chance to calm down a bit.
Hugzzz 💕 🎶

[Former-Member]

Hello sorry I don't even know who has sent this, everything is getting very confusing for me, I have had to stop looking at sane site because I cant find stuff from before and I all of a sudden keep finding posts from people with schizophrenia where when I search for that I couldn't find anything, it must be karma

My son has not got help - he was detained in public hospital and now discharge living in a house with people I don't know. I think I was supposed to go down today to help him get this flat to rent but I could not get out of him why I was going because all the other stuff happened. He has also said It will be my problem if he doesn't get the flat.

He doesn't believe that he is ill and is angry with me because I am and is blaming me for giving him mental illness which doesn't make sense anyway if he doesn't believe it.

Now I am ranting and sounding like him

I cant cope with him at the moment, my husband knows this too, but if I don't help him he has noone else. He has been to his nonna's who is in her 80's and she is frightened of him even though she loves him. His dad said to me that he might have to ring the police again and I said no that would make things worse.

So I am going to see if I can find a phone number to ring to find out how to help people with schizophrenia.

i managed to get another appointment with psychiatrist and havetalked through what happened today and some ideas for when i see son tomorrow.

im sorry that i have gone on about my stuff on this thread because it really is not about the subject. i just lost the plot earlier. so perhaps if it needs to be moved elsewhere so that I dont offend anyone or minimise the awful situations spoken about in other posts.

im floundering around on this site and probably need some time out to quietly look at what i should be doing when i feel that i have calmed down.

Thankyou for answering 

[Appleblossom]

It took me a while to understand the sane site @Former-Member and I searched around it pretty thoroughly.

Take care of you and when you are able, take care of your son. Thats all anyone can do.

If the site sends you too much and it overwhelms you .. you can limit the subscriptions. Personally I set mine on one email per week, so that I can look over it when I am in the best mindset for it.

Dont mistake computer algorithms for karma .. or at least I dont believe that is helpful .. 

Go gently ... with you