Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

hi guys

so ive really been struggling with my mental illness (i  have 4) and ive recently disclosed another event as well. ive been told i should jsut get over it and just dont worry about it and im finding it really hard to 'just get over' im just wondering what others opinions are... do you think im just complaining?

ive also just discovered that i have a few physical health issues to deal with such as scoliosis, glasses, and a few of my main ligaments have been torn and have never been fully corrected as i never got a boot or anything to support it so now im stuck having a few torn ligamanents that will probably never heal so the pain that i feel will be constant unfortunately.

so i was just trying to have a conversation in general about my injury and treatment etc and she just rolled her eyes at me and said that i complain to much.. this is kinda the first times heard about it as i try not to complain about anything even when im struggling the most. even in my full panic state she usually jsut ignores me and then gets the craps at me...

do you think im complaining?

[Former-Member]

@utopia
@Former-Member
What do you guys think?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

My husband is very ill at the moment and does talk to me about it - but doesn't tell me everything so I don't worry too much. I think it's important to talk about things that are causing you grief when it gets too much. As long as we don't talk about it all the time which by what you posted you aren't doing. The person you were telling may have her own stresses etc and can't handle it at the moment. I wouldn't take it too personally.

Certainly with the complex mental illnesses you ares struggling with we can't just get over. If it's too much for our loved ones to cope with that's when support groups are very helpful. 🙂

[Former-Member]

Even if it was your own mother? @Former-Member

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I don't know who this person is who rolled her eyes at you. Not overly compassionate or empathetic response.
Mental illness is not something you 'get over'.
Please don't listen when people say that. Depression is not just a sad mood. Anxiety is not simply a worry. Pain is not - all in your head.
I've heard so many stupid, careless and down right rude comments about my own MI. Strangers have said I can't have PTSD because I wasn't in a war or the armed forces. That I mustn't be depresses now because they saw me smiling at the shops the other day.
Unfortunately there are stigmas that are around about mental health. Just as there are many uninformed people.
I educate people about my mental illness. If they don't 'get it' - I tell them not to speak about it - if they don't have anything nice to say. And no!!!!! A banana will not lift me out of my depressive vortex.
Ignore them. Educate them. But don't waste your time and energy on those who won't support you. You life is too precious

[Former-Member]

That's tough @Former-Member when your mother is doing this. Mine was abusive and didn't care about me so she is not a good example to compare. I try and be there for my daughter but she has trouble talking to anyone about her issues and bottles it up which makes it worse. I think it's natural to share these struggles with our parents.

[Former-Member]

Yeah i was talking to her about it but wanted nothing to do with it and a few close friends said the same thing. I cant help but feel its my fault.

[utopia]

@Former-Member @Former-Member. My mum is constantly trying to 'help'. Even when I say please don't. Ill ask if I need help.
I know with my depression, I am more susceptible to pain - or maybe it's that I don't handle it well. When I'm depressed - I can't even pluck a few stray eyebrows. It physically hurts too much. But when my depression has lifted - I can handle a wax!.
Does your mum understand your MI? If she can understand that - explain that at times you need to talk more about your pain - emotional and physical.
Ask her if she is willing to be a support for you during these times. If not, then as @Former-Member has said, find other support networks

[Former-Member]

@utopia i think i have my answer. I think im leaving her out of it. Ive explained to her about all my conditions but i still get these reactions

[utopia]

@Former-Member. Some people just can't or won't get it.