Lived Experience Forum

[janedoe2]

My elderly parent chooses to take care of health in a haphazard way. I struggle as it seems she doesn't tell any other of my siblings she has an issue until it is troublesome. When told by them to see a doctor for example will go. Where when I mention the doctor she almost yells at me.
When I was very young I was exposed to a different treatment than the other siblings. It effected my mental health and in the present get a physical pressure when talked to about health issues and refusal to go to a doctor.
A while ago chest pain was being experienced for a while and when advised I took parent to ER. After investigative procedure which went wrong there were three near death experiences. I informed nurses each time something was wrong. When I finally went back home after caring for my parent, waited till they could drive again, I experienced another PTSD response . Took a year before I could process the experience.
This experience repeats on me with the current behaviour by parent.
Anyone got any advise about taking good care of myself while trying to care about an elderly parent is getting older while resisting. This parent lives alone and is fiercely independent. Help!?!?

[NikNik]

Hi @janedoe2

Your parent is lucky to have you. You do a lot more than a lot of people do for their parents. It sounds like you've had a lot of patience and compassion for them.

Something we regularly discuss in the Carers Forum is how to be a carer without compromising your own mental health - which can be really tough - especailly when you just want what is best for the person you're caring for.

I don't have all the answers unfortunately, but I encourage you to have a look around the Carers Forum and perhaps use to search bar (available on tablet and desktop version of the Forums) to look up 'boundaries' and 'self care' some relevant information might pop up.

Nik