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Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

Hi!

 

I am 24 years old and I live with Anxiety! Some days it goes by unnoticable and others its all I think about. If I am in a really good managed routine Mentally and Physically then I do really good. However if I am not, my anxiety is in full throttle and thats when I need support the most. I have great support from people that don't really understand Anxiety which is great but on the really hard days I need someone that genuinly has been in the same spot and comletely understands me! And that's where I struggle !

I am not someone that goes straight up to someone confidently to establish a friendship which in turn has resorted me to the internet and trying to find friends online whom in time would love to hang out if in the area! Thats the ideal goal but I am not having much luck with that either, so my question is, how do you guys go about meeting and making friends with likeminded people!

 

 

12 REPLIES 12

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

hi @Rosepetal9 

I had no friends for 7 years due to my mental illness. I've spent the last 2 years making new friends & building those friendships into supportive and strong ones. I found all my friends at Meetups. It was extremely hard work and I had to kiss a lot of frogs. You have to make it a priority, get out of your comfort zone and keep trying even when you haven't met anyone you click with yet.

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

 

Hey @Rosepetal9. I don't have too many friends yet but i am making changes. It is also important not to be unrealistic about changes. I find friendship has a big influence on your mental health. I try and factor that in to make it a priority as @BryanaCamp said. 

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

hi @Rosepetal9
i hadnt realised you had a thread Smiley Happy again welcome. I am 22 so can relate to some of the things happening around our age too.


Like you i struggle with friendships but a suggestion i have is to join some interest groups. some things i can think of are - study groups, gym/fitness groups, sports, other interest groups such as photography or writing or even support groups for anxiety.

hope this helps somewhat and your able to form some friendships too

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

That's a great question @Rosepetal9, it can be difficult to start friendships when we're older, but we've seen someone recommend Bumble BFF (it's a friend version of the app). Have you also checked out meetup.com? You may find an activity that you are interested in, and meet people that way! 

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

@BryanaCamp Thanks for the tips! I’m glad you stuck it out! I’m confident that I can make friends eventually, I just how to work through the uncomfortable moments!

 

@Everan I Definitely want to make it a priority! And I to believe having friends does have wonderful benefits for your mental health! Thanks!

 

@outlander Thanks for all your advice so far! I start Uni next month and it’s on campus so I have completely put myself out there. I have seen that  they do a lot of activities on campus around classes like fitness and study groups so ill definitely be sneaking myself self into some of them. It’s just the initial rip of the band aid haha Thanks again!

 

@Ali11 Thanks for the tip, I will look that recommendation up and give it a go as well. I will look into meet up to; it looks like it has helped a few people on here!

 

 

 

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

@Rosepetal9 I guess you meet people along the way of following your journey. It's not easy though.

I struggle with getting to know people. I think you need to build up to it and let people know who you as you said and then be open.

  

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

Hi and welcome @Rosepetal9 

(Shout-outs to...

@Ali11 @outlander @Everan @BryanaCamp)

 

I'm probably not the person to dish out advice on this topic as I like being a hermit; at least for now. However, I have had success with my anxiety and being around other people when I need to.

 

Anxiety's mainly about our fears of speaking up and not being heard or treated/interpreted right. So being around people can trigger all sorts of old problems.

 

Your thread just reminded me of a scene in the movie '28 Days' with Sandra Bullock.

 

It was at the end of the movie when she met up (in a plant store) with another patient from her stay in the Rehab unit. (a very funny character) They'd been told by their psych not to engage in any relationship until they could keep a plant alive for a year.

 

He squeezed her with joy, began to cry and slobbered out some words through his strong accent; "I'm so frustrated! I think my plant's dead! What am I going to do?!" (Paraphrasing) She shook her head, smiled and hugged him.

 

She was in there buying her own plant so what could she say?

 

I'm not sure what stage of recovery you're in Rosepetal, but coping with new relationships (and groups) can be dicey. Practice on those already in your life because they're more accepting and forgiving.

 

Each step, (like coping with such things as hiding in the toilet while you cry or shake; responding to clumsy statements from others or learning to say "No") is like maths. Do the easy stuff first, make your mistakes and practice until it's natural before moving onto the next lesson and experience.

 

I don't want to put a damper on your enthusiasm mind you. Please, do what feels best for you. Just take your time, consider a 'me first' mindset and...enjoy the journey.

 

And maybe buy a plant! lol 🌱😜

Kind thoughts;

Hope xo Heart

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

@Hope4me I am always open to new advice, it provides me with another perspective on how to handle and do things! So thankyou for it!!

I have actually seen that movie and I know the scene you are talking about, (I totally felt for him!)

 

I try very hard everyday to take my time with things because I do believe beautiful things always evolve at the right time even friendships! 

 

Thanks again!

Re: Struggling to make friends that really understand me! Looking for opinions on how people meet likeminded people

sorry i havent been back till now @Rosepetal9 i didnt recieve a notification the other day cause the systems were glitching.
good luck at uni, thats a rather exciting new adventure and theres lots of groups and things there. my hopes are that youll be able to form those friendships your looking for once youve settled in more. just be yourself Smiley Happy

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