Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi @NikNik @Rockpool @Former-Member @Owlunar @utopia @Shaz51 @outlander @Zoe7 @oceangirl @Change123 @Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member and others I have forgotten 🙂

I am very confused at the minute and am thinking that maybe its time i leave. I don't know what i want in life or out of life. Dont' know if leaving is the right thing to even do.

i miss so many of you if i leave and don't know if this is the right decision. what am i even thinking. no i am not thinking.

i have connected and made so many friends here it feels like family to me Dec being one of them. and there are many many more.

do i leave? i don't know. do i stay? i don't know

i can't make my f.... mind up

i am so confused today

i am alone

and i cant think

so much going on in my mind

i so wish i was away somewhere where no one could find me

where i could just wake up on my own, no other people around, no noise, no nothing

just me

stuff my parents, they have destroyed me, i will never ever get better, i will always have deprerssion, it its not one thing its another; it will alwsy be with me; it's a bloody bhlack dog hanging around always ready to get me

i am srry everyone, i am in a very dark place and i don't know what to do - i don't want to leave; i don't know what to do 😞 😞

[Phoenix_Rising]

@BlueBay It sounds a bit like your brain is all full up with big feelings right now, is that right? I have a rule for myself that when my brain is flooded, I don't try to make any decisions because I know that the big feelings flood the thinking part of my brain such that it doesn't work. Thus I'm wondering if perhaps now isn't the best time for you to be trying to figure things out. Maybe now is the time to just let the big feelings wash over you. What do you think?

[Former-Member]

Can you contact the CAT team? or your gp, did i read somehow that you promised that you would to your gp? im not coping so well today either and not sure im much help. could you get somoene to come home so you're not alone which might help you be safer? @BlueBay

[Shaz51]

stay my wonderful friend @BlueBay 

 we are with you holding you hands , would you like to talk or sit here together on the beach , it is sunny at the moment

@Former-Member,

[utopia]

@BlueBay. I'm beyong being able to help you or anyone today. I'm living in hell.
♥♥♥♥♥

[BlueBay]

maybe you're right @Phoenix_Rising

i think i will try to ride this out and wait.

it is  huge emotion and a wave of mixed anger, sadness, guilt and depression, darkness

thank you xxoo

[BlueBay]

thanks @Former-Member i can't get hold of my GP.  i tried the CAT team but no answer.

i will stay home , my hubby should be home soon. at least then i am not home alone.

i hope you will be okay

hugs xxxooo

[BlueBay]

i am sorry @utopia that you are struggling so much.

I don't know what to say

sending you some hugs xxxooo

[girl99]

@BlueBay

Sorry you are feeling bad today and that there is no one around for you to talk to today.  Maybe it's a good thing the CAT team didn't answer if they are not helpful. Have they been helpful in the past? Is your GP okay to talk to?   I have terrible down days too. Don't leave.  Can you find something you are passionate about that gets you worked up and you can fight for?   I find anger can be a good tool to work against my depression sometimes.  I get so angry about some things that it motivates me to take action.  Some people say anger isn't a good thing but, if used constructively, it can be very motivating.

Hope you can pull yourself out of this and feel better soon

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay and All,

Just wanted to let you know that I am moderating now until 8pm today. Will keep an eye out for you BB and I can see that you are well supported by friends here. As you know email contact with us is available if things go downhill today. 

The CAT teams are very busy, especially on weekends, so generally I would advise Lifeline or Beyond Blue for immediate counselling helpline support.

Take care of yourself,

Frog