Lived Experience Forum

[utopia]

@Change123. Your boss sounds like a very weak man. To ask you about an email an ex employee sent - where an ex employee expressed their opinion of thd company - not you. That's a direct attack on you.

Sounds like he is trying to find ways to prove he has a right to fire you.
Please look for another job. This man and his wife etc are toxic to you.
Please call the Union and explain what has been happening to you at work. They will support you.y strong feeling is he is trying to get rid of you - either by finding fault in your work or emails, trying to share youf job among other staff - so he can legally terminate your contact - or by bullying you to such a point that you break.
Please don't let him break you. I'm in such a bad place, mentally, socially, financially - because my work did thst to me. They broke me. 3 years later I'm still broken pieces.

[Change123]

 @utopia

Believe me I'm trying but all the jobs at the moment are about 45 mins travel away and from past experience this hasnt been good for my mental health (getting up much earlier, getting home later, no time or relaxation time for me). But I'm looking everyday now BUT having said that I wont be bullied and made to resign when it doesnt suit me.  I have done nothing wrong, have never reced a warning its all been opinion about how I should do my job.  I would like to see them try and fight in court that they are firing me because I'm over nice, I'm too efficient and too professional and do HR stuff over the top. Somehow I dont think the courts would buy that so I am covering my ass in the meantime.

God sooo angry - I just wish so much if I won x lotto, to go away in the country from all people and just have dogs as my companions.  Dont know how but I'm coping, lots of rage inside but mainly feel sad now, just sick of how mean and nasty people are - I really hate people the ones that claim they are normal!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Change123

I was sorry to read that you are still having trouble at work. I just read the last couple of pages as I have been off here for awhile so apologise that I haven't full knowledge of what is happening to you at your workplace. I did note though that you were asked to record in writing what you do in your day. You posted that may be a good thing to clear up misunderstandings. Just to put my limited knowledge in as my husband is chairman of a board and has asked a employee to do the same (for totally different reasons to yours though) - this can be a first official step towards working out a resolution and I agree with you that this is a good thing. Especially if management/board is not versed accordingly in what your day to day duties are. Do you have a statement of duties? Regardless whether the same good faith as my husband exists in this move - refusing a direction of this type would go against you and your future employment there. I would highly recommend to co-operate there.

If you find reasonable grounds/proof after doing this that it is in any way being used against you (which in that instance I doubt) - that is the time to ask for union mediation or an independant work mediator between yourself and management/board. Otherwise it could be viewed as not being able to work under authority if you run to the union without reasonable grounds for that particular direction. A employee that cannot take direction is grounds for dismissal - although you probably would already know this. And if management/board "can prove" an employee cannot take direction and work under authority and/or cannot fulfill their work duties adequately after discussing with the employee their work underperformance, it is considered a "serious matter" and grounds for immediate dismissal.

It sounds like your boss is a very difficult person to work for. But if you outline your work duties and then continue to fulfill them accordingly and reliably and within your assigned duties - your employment is safe. Try not to let them rattle you in any other way where possible -  I would ignore all else if you can until you find more suitable employment. Sorry if I am asking you to repeat yourself but where do you believe the problem lyes with management? It seems there are a lot of disgruntled employees at your workplace. Do you feel your boss is blaming you because you are the HR manager a d feels your responsible because of this? And having to deal with all this whilst the hormones go haywire with the moods they create following, must be really horrendous to cope with for you at times. I can understand you wanting to get away from all the stress. This is one of the hardest times in a woman's life. Although another subject I found HRT a lifesaver there.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Change123
Your boss sounds like he's the one being very childish. How awful for him to treat you like that.
I was sent an email today from one of the heads of the company to write out every thing I do each day for a week, so I thought of you right away. I'm certainly going to keep extra busy for a week!
I think you should keep a bit of a written date/time log of these incidents (him shouting/swearing at you) in case you need to refer to them at a later date.
I'm glad your husband is being kind to you now. You could definitely use his support with your work situation. xx

[Bast]

@NikNik@Nooks@utopia@outlander@BlueBay

Hi Lovely @Change123

Let's just tun away and join the circus (bit olddays don't you think) how about Nimban - sunshine, way calm community - lot's of luv for dogs and cats too.

You know what - The best I hear in your post is your anger, it is so much better than utter despair. You are right 'cos we have been there together, sometimes the nonsensical repeated abuses of a great worker eat you alive. Ther is no why realistically, although I get my punishment is due to the fact that the previous Union member pretty well tore into the narcissist regarding a fariwork claim for me. It was like watching a cage fight and I will always have the memory to treasure (although lately I need to be reminded of it) Yes I have been bruatlised repeatedly as a result, how low can you actually get sort of thing. And this round has gone on for 5+ months. 

What gives anyone the right at work to sendyou to an IME because you cried once!. Stigma+++

Yesterday I reneged on the workcover claim, I recognise that I simply cannot proceed - it's horribly simple - if my phone rings i start to shake and head off down the big black hole slide again. I sook relentlessly when I even think of what the delightful PH has overtedly and predetermined to do to me this year again. Like you I have a fantastic reputation,just not Ok to be smarter than the people with the better pay rates. Again Fit in or F...... Off.

The Union phoned immediately - (not happy) however I have been offerred a solicitor consultation to actually make an informed decision, however I really just need to run and hide. I cannot go back ever,somehow I will have to gather the courage to collect my personal possessions - special ones - photos of my 6 rescue cats, now sure how though.

The financial nightmare is huge - have no idea how to handle this although I get it, As precarious as I am at the moment I would rather starve than be further damaged because they hate me and have labeled me as mental. I will have to figure out how to look after the furrbabies.

It is utterly inescusable - how workplaces really are, read the rheteroric what a farce that actually is when tested.

Please take care - and our values are the most important things we have as people, never relent.

Lotsa luv Bast

[utopia]

@Bast I'm so sorry to hear you are at the point of not being able to fight any more.
But self protection, self preservation, self care is the most important thing for you at thr moment.
Take time to stay inside, in your yard, in your bed & let your fur babies comfort you - as they will want to.
Sending you a hug.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Change123

It's great that your partner is being supportive and he has done this at a time that you need him the most. 

That nasty letter you mentioned - was that a first warning or similar? If so, yes time to seek outside advice. What does the review entail? Sorry I am a bit out of the loop. Let's us know how it goes. Glad to read you are feeling strong.  Will be thinking of you. xx

[Change123]

@Former-Member

I have gone out of my way to co operate and do the right thing by these idiots.  My BPD gets in the way there that I want to please, recording my taks was actually my idea.  The problem is they do not communicate  to anyone and literally expect people to read their minds.  I have seen many employees get the same treatment here and have enough that they quit, this is whsat they do time and time again.  I actually think there are some MI or naraccistic traits here and I'm not saying that to be nasty.  The husband is in his mid 70's and losing it badly, memory all over the place, over reacts to something before he hears the whole truth, getting very nasty and has the opinion that staff should treat their job as a first priority and family second.  This has got much worses in the last 18 months partly due to business going down as well.  The wife is a very pig headed, hearltess cruel women and to make things worse they dont communicate about issues properly between themselves.  They are always right in every matter, they wrote the book and think they are a law on to themselves this includes common laws, HR laws their belief of HR is that you tell people to "grow up, stop acting like princesses and f..K! off.  They push against everything they feel is wrong whether its the law or not It seems they are not happy unless they are crucifying someone and now its my turn because I stick up for myself and I believe there is also some shovenism going on here.  

[Former-Member]

Hi @Change123

Sounds like a really toxic work environment. Glad to read that you are not going to let them push you out. They can't just sack you because of a personality clash or any mental health issues - they have to liaise with employees to discuss any perceived work underperformance to give them a chance to improve before they can issue warnings. And they have to be able to prove the latter in a fair work situation. Sounds like you have nothing to worry about there, legally wise to what you told me. What was the nasty letter?

I think it is wise what you stated re keeping calm and not reacted angrily. Give them nothing. If it were me I would do my job without having any words with the boss. People like that are not going to change. All it will do is give them a excuse to have a go and stress you more. Yes, just smile and keep busy.  I think recording your tasks was a good idea to protect you. Although stressful I am glad you are not quitting before you find another suitable job. Who can afford that? And then they really win. Stick to your guns. I do so hope you can find something better for you soon so you don't have to endure such a stressful environment much longer. Please let us know how it goes. Hugs xx