Lived Experience Forum

[Change123]

Hi @Shaz51@Lunar@utopia@Former-Member@oceangirl@outlander@BlueBay @Former-Member@Former-Member@Decadian and anyoneelse 

Things went to utter shit on the weekend, my brain has just been spinning out of control (too fast), loads of anxiety and rage since my periods came back. I have been just able to control my rage and anixety but on the weekend I broke 3 boundaries/ promises to my partner without realising until it was too late.  Consequently I'm paying the price, my partner is just so livid with me he is now not speaking to me at all and if he does its to tell me he doesnt want to hear my voice.  I'm in a bad place but know how to take care of myself just wish I could fix the damage I had done at home.

Seeing doctor this Friday to discuss hormone options - its pretty obvious that hormones are playing a major part with me as I had come so far when I didnt have my periods.  I will tell her its effecting my mental health and quality of life.

Everything has gone to shit and I have fought so hard to not let this happen and yet it has - just trying to keep my head above water so to speak and not listen to my brain.

[Former-Member]

hello @Change123

those dratted hormones have so much to answer for!!!!!

are you at work? home?

where is partner?

are you safe?

[Lunar]

Hello @Change123

That sounds like such a hard weekend, I am sorry you are feeling this way that is not easy. Try not to be too hard on yourself, everyone reacts in ways they wish they hadn't and especially when you feel emotionally vulnerable due to hormones, that is virtually impossible to control.

Please look after yourself this week, by being kind to yourself, maybe eat something yummy and take your time doing things, it is okay to have anxiety and rage the best you can do is be aware of it and do things to try to be calm when you can and if that doesn't work it is okay.

I hope that you are safe and thank you for checking in with us, thinking of you

[Change123]

Thanks @Lunar@Former-Member

Dont worry I'm safe at work (partner at home he doesnt work) but just holding it together as I'm also copping grief here.  Just being very discluded from things here and now when everyone is back to a full 38 day week plus overtime I'm the only one who is not - the part time receptionist has even had her hours increased more than she is contracted to.  I just feel very unwanted.

I wont do anything stupid, not worth it no one cares anyway. 

Just feeling sorry for myself but as usual I will get through I guess. I have been nice to myself lately to try and keep my spirits up - just really low today.  Thanks

[Former-Member]

@Change123

we do care about you

the work thing hasn't changed which is what you expected. So if you can let go of that stuff at least for now. lighten your load by releasing the stuff that you can't change.

Think about what you can work on changing no matter how small to begin with.

I know that you are positive, caring, compassionate with a wonderful sense of humour. Give some of that back to yourself.

Once you have a handle on how to do that can you let me know how??

As far as home is concerned if you can wait until you get home and see how you feel. What can you do for you? Is there anything you would like to say to your partner?

lastly the hint is in your user name xxxxx

[BlueBay]

Hi @Change123

Have you looked up 'Happy Hormones'.  Have I mentioned it before? Can't remember.  I have been taking that since November last year and have noticed a drop in my moods/behaviour and overall PMT.

Just a thought. I understand totally what yoiu're saying.

Here for you.

BB xxxooo

[outlander]

Oh dear @Change123

Hugs to you
Thinking of you snd hearing you too

[Change123]

Thanks @outlander@BlueBay@Former-Member

@Former-Member I cant talk to my partner as he doesnt want me to talk to him and if I try (which I have) he just screams       "leave me alone" so I'm waiting until he approaches me otherwise I just aggravate the situation.

@BlueBay yes you have mentioned those happy hormones - I will discuss with my doctor - I have tried those perimenopausal herbal things which dont really work as far as my moods are concerned. To be honest if they agree to rip my ovaries out I'm happy with that - I seem to get a lot of side effects with medications usually which is why I went off the pill and got my tubes done - this is when everything started with me. So if it means going back on the pill with side effects I dont care anymore as long as it helps my brain - I just want it to stop.

[Shaz51]

sending you hugs @Change123 

[Former-Member]

@Change123

sounds like you both need some space to digest, recover and work it out eventually

you know yourself and your partner so will know when the time is right.

you are very stressed at the moment

are you able to go for a walk?

I think you know how to look after yourself and it is more about timing and perhaps even taking some time out from that job with such dreadful owners.

take care