Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

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@Emelia8 wrote:

Good morning @NatureLover .  I wanted to stop by and check on you, as it seemed you were very quiet yesterday. Wasnt sure of best thread to catch you on, but thought here was pretty appropriate.

Anyway ... thinking of you my beautiful friend.

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Oh gosh, how lovely, thank you @Emelia8   Yes, I have a lot going on at the moment. I found the memes you posted really affirming, thank you 🙂

Thinking of you also...hoping things have improved recently for you, and you're benefiting from added support...

[Emelia8]

@Lee71 

Tagging you into this thread of @NatureLover 's, as you may find it interesting and helpful.

Emelia

[Powderfinger]

@NatureLover 

Hi,

I am an HSP and an introvert. I never could put a name to myself until 8 years ago when I happened to live with another HSP and he approached me one day and said I think you are a HSP. He gave me the name of Author Elaine Aron, The highly sensitive person. I read it and was like wow O totally get this. Not every single thing was me but a heck of a lot was. A book written by a HSP for HSP'S. 

I am very much in my shell at the moment. I can't come out because I love got a lot of damage from abuse with. I lived in an environment since I was child with high sensitivity and an abusive home life. I was not supported and protected from it, nor was I supported or even cared for in regards to my high sensitivities and intuition. 

For me too much loud noise can be overwhelming. I have however learnt ways to cope and manage. Certain situations is a no deal but I manage a bit better now. 

If there is screaming and yelling, I need to go. Can't deal with it. Traffic and lots of it, can't deal or busy noisy shopping centres. The music, lighting and too many people can be very draining. The more drained I get, the more I can't hear anyone speak and believe it or not I start to become extremely sleepy and tired. Sensory wise when it comes to touch/feel. There is some things I just don't like touching and feel extremely dirty after touching them. I know it's strange. Blackboard dusters is one, a wooden spade handle and wooden part where you hold onto it. I can't deal, need gloves. The feel of paper on the outside edging of my palm. That's hard, I need plastic there to lean my hand against the paper instead. Just little things like that. 

Smell is ok. I am not too sensitive with that it doesn't seem, nor with taste. It's more hearing, seeing and feeling. We are the minority not the majority. 

Thanks for posting about an important topic

[NatureLover]

Thanks so much for posting, @Powderfinger ...

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@Powderfinger wrote:

 I lived in an environment since I was child with high sensitivity and an abusive home life. I was not supported and protected from it, nor was I supported or even cared for in regards to my high sensitivities and intuition. 

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I am so very sorry to hear this...I can relate as I had a similar situation. I really feel for you. I can understand that you'd want to stay in your shell. 

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@Powderfinger wrote:

The more drained I get, the more I can't hear anyone speak and believe it or not I start to become extremely sleepy and tired.

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I understand...shutting down to cope?

I always find that people are glad to be able to finally put a name (HSP) to how they are, and it sounds like you are too. 

[Powderfinger]

@ugh well that just sucks that you can relate to me. Not because you can relate but because you endured your own situation that has similarities to mine. I feel a lot of anger still. I need to sort that out somehow. I can't understand it so hopefully a therapist can help me understand what my anger is about because I don't know. 

Yeah just drained. Depends on the situation, the people, the energy and how tired I am. I assess each situation individually. It doesn't matter though if it is quiet and low key. 2 hrs max, I'm done and want to leave. If it is noisy, crowded and I walk in, if I have the option, I walk straight back out and go elsewhere. I did it the other week for lunch. Went to a new cafe I wanted to eat at, walked in and walked straight back out to a much quiet cafe where there were actually no customersand a more chilled, relaxed vibe. 

Hmmmm... Yes. It is good to have a name for what it is about. In some ways at least I know I'm normal. 

[Abby10]

Thanks for tagging me @NatureLover. My magic number is 12! And I'm the 12th person to like this post. This is my synchronicity showing me im on the right path 🙏

I'm so glad you tagged me thank you!!!!! 🙏 I can relate to so much of this!!!!!!

But I do genuinely love caffeine 😂... 

I crave honesty authenticity and kindness perhaps understanding to. I hate violence and cruelty and chaos.

I'm definitely sensitive, I am. But I try to spread what I'd like in return. 

I feel very deeply to, So deeply!

Emotional Soup!! 

 I feel other people's emotions/emotional pain really badly sometimes! Although I think I'm getting better at knowing between there's an mine. Hard to know sometimes. It used to really mess with me. But the flip side is you pick up the positive emotions to when they are about. This year has been hard because all this stuff has always been around but subtle. Now it's like HONKKKKKK....... Like LISTEN! I feel things mainly feelings off other people, some time the intent of the a person, the vibe of a room and sometimes i just know stuff lol, I can't explain it but I just know!! I don't get this all the time but sometimes im like WHAT WAS THAT!!!! Chills...

 I can definitely pick up on all the small stuff like body language and small shifts to but I think I'm reading a bit between the lines so to speak to. I'm so glad there are others. It seems hard to find authentic information.  And not many people if any understand what this is like except the ones in it. And even if we could we still probs wouldn't change it. 

Trauma may be a bit of a theme with some of this stuff! 

Anyway I really appreciated your reply   @NatureLover .  

[NatureLover]

Thanks for your enthusiastic reply, @Abby10 , it was great to read 🙂

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@Abby10 wrote:

I crave honesty authenticity and kindness perhaps understanding to. I hate violence and cruelty and chaos.

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Yes, me too 🙂

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@Abby10 wrote:

And even if we could we still probs wouldn't change it. 

Trauma may be a bit of a theme with some of this stuff! 

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I agree, I think there is added pain with being an HSP...but actually I wouldn't change it, as it brings with it the ability to empathise and a sense of connectedness to others. 

All the best on your HSP journey!

[Abby10]

Thanks @NatureLover 

I get excited about this stuff lol. It's hard to find others who understand so thank you kindly for leading me hear🤗 

All the best with your journey also!!! 

[Schnauzerkisses]

I can totally relate.  I have never identified as being a HSP until a friend lent me a book about it and I'm learning more about myself and identify with many traits of a HSP.  I've always wondered why it only seemed to bother me when it came to working in office situations and especially open plan offices. 

I can thrive in my own office but certainly not open plan.  Who the hell came up with this nonsense concept anyways?  No one else seems to be so bothered by it so I always wondered why it only bothered me.  I also am starting to wonder what a suitable career path is for us HSP's because working for corporations with many changes really rocks my boat.  There is no stability.  In fact the last restructure which involved me moving out of my office, into reception, from softer light (as I took out a light bulb, hehe) to bright lights and constant noise and now answering phones all day has sent me into a spin and my intense anxiety has turned into depression.  On top of that I'm selling my unit and looking for another place to buy.  All this has really made it unbearable to cope and I'm taking 1 week of stress leave.  I'm trying to seek help but psychologist appointments are a 7 week wait and psychiatrists are 2 month wait in my area.  It certainly doesn't help the anxiety when you feel so panicked and alone and are trying to get help but it's like pushing you know what up a hill. I feel like the only way I can get help is if I present to the emergency department saying I want to hurt myself.  Very disheartening. Sorry I am rambling I know but reflection of where my mind is at the moment I guess!

[Whitehawk]

Hi @Schnauzerkisses 

A warm welcome to the SANE forums! It's great to have you here and thanks for telling the community a bit about yourself. You have shown courage.  I am sorry to read that you find it so hard to get the professional  help you need. I hope you do not give up but persist in advocating for your needs.  I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. I'm the moderator on duty right now.   Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works  https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines. 

Take care.

Whitehawk