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Looking after ourselves

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

heyyyyy @Scoo , it is sooo good to see you my friend Heart

 

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

@Shaz51  I've been rather preoccupied with supporting my HSP hubby. I'm happy to report that since he started started counselling a couple of months ago he has slowly been having breakthroughs. Thanks to this forum and others studies about mental health issues I have stepped up a notch in understanding him which has meant I can support him better. He and his psychologist call me his sponsor lol. I guess when you have a lived experience of mental illness and are fortunate to  have stabilised you have a lot to offer others. My hubby and I would never trade our HSP attributes because we believe they make us more compassionate people. The world needs HSP people ❤️

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

@NatureLover  when I was about two my parents took me to an office get together and they had a pig on a spit apparently I screamed and cried so much that they had to take me home ..... I think today my reaction would be the same.

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

Oh gosh, @greenpea  My reaction would be the same also. 💚💚💚

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

@Maggie Smiley Winkxxx

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health


@Scoo wrote:

My hubby and I would never trade our HSP attributes because we believe they make us more compassionate people. The world needs HSP people ❤️


I agree totally, @Scoo . Although the world is also hard on HSP people, with depression and anxiety at the state of the world. 😞

 

 

 

@greenpea and @Maggie  - I would be the same, yes!

 

 

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

My psychologist informed me back in February that I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).  I was actually quite hurt when she told me that, because it sounded like a criticism to me. Sensitive? How many times do you hear it said ... you are too sensitive ... grown a spine ... dont be such a sook ... etc? It is generally thought of, as being a negative trait in the real world.

When I asked her about this, she immediately told me that it was not at all a criticism. She explained that roughly 15-20% of the population is considered to be Highly Sensitive, or a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). She explained to me that being highly sensitive is defined as having acute physical, mental and emotional responses to external and/or internal stimulus. This can be social, environmental or intra-personal.

She explained that while many people experience this from time to time, a HSP will likely feel too much and feel too deeply. Often it will affect our health, happiness and overall wellbeing.

She went on to assure me that there are a great number of positives to being a HSP .. such as a greater ability to listen, a better understanding of others wants and needs, a far greater empathy than the average person and a high degree of intuitiveness. So I guess its not necessarily a criticism to be told you are sensitive, or deemed to be a HSP.

But the fact is, we do experience the world differently to others. Apparently its a biological difference that we are born with, making us more aware of subtleties and means we process things differently. We are very deep thinkers.

So although we tend to be more creative, insightful and empathetic than non-HSPs, it also means we are much more prone than others, to stressful situations and become overwhelmed much quicker. My psych explained that being a HSP is completely normal ... it's not a disease or disorder, and is not something we can fundamentally change. Even if we wanted to.

Since I suffer from PTSD, I asked her if being a HSP makes you more susceptible to PTSD. She said not really. But she also state that anyone with PTSD and a history of trauma will naturally become more highly sensitive.

She went on to say that the majority of people she sees in a professional capacity, would be classified as HSPs. A much higher rate than the average population. I guess that can be explained by the fact that HSPs feel that much more than others, and process things so deeply. It all made sense to me, and I found it quite enlightening.

 

Since my discussion with my psych, I've done some research, and compiled the following list.  I think this will resonate with a lot of people here on the forums, judging from some of the comments already expressed here.

 

I had originally posted this list on my own PTSD thread back in February, but since there is now a thread specific to HSPs, I thought it would be appropriate to move it here to share with others.  It gets lost in my thread, and does not reach people who are searching for this specific topic.  I hope you dont mind @NatureLover ?

 

Highly sensitive people experience things more intensely than most. Strong emotions are easier to identify for HSPs than the average person. This also helps them to communicate effectively because they don’t just hear the words coming out of other people’s mouths, but they also catch on to the more subtle signs such as gestures and tone of voice.

 

There are trade-offs, however, because if strong emotions in HSPs are left unchecked it can have bad consequences. Highly sensitive people can use their qualities to advantage provided they understand that they are highly sensitive. This awareness ensures the ability to reap the benefits of heightened emotional awareness while also spotting and defeating any negative tendencies.  So it is quite important to be able to identify if you are HS.  It helps us to manage and deal with the effects of high emotions and feeling overwhelmed.

 

Here are some common qualities that HSPs typically possess. Those of you with PTSD will likely recognise that many of these also apply to you. 

 

How many of these apply to you?  Personally ... I can say that 33 of the 34 points below describe me to a tee.

 

How do I recognise if I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

 

1.  You're a deep thinker.

When life throws you a curveball, you retreat deep into your shell, thinking through every aspect of what transpired before taking any action. Small things (in your own life and other people’s lives) can have a big impact on you.

2.  You’re detail-oriented.

You’re as sensitive to details as you are to feelings. You see details that others miss, and you aren’t content until you’ve dotted all the i’s and crossed the t’s. This is a strength that is highly valuable in the right profession.

3.  You take a while to reach decisions.

Since you’re prone to dig deep beneath the surface, you tend to drag out decisions. You can’t help but try to run every possible outcome through your head, and this is often at the expense of the ticking clock.

4.  You’re crushed by your bad decisions.

When you finally make a decision, and it turns out to be a poor choice, you take it much harder than most. This can create a vicious cycle that slows down your decision-making process even more, as fear of making a bad decision is part of what slows you down in the first place.

5.  You’re emotionally reactive.

When left to your own devices, you have a knee-jerk reaction to your feelings. You have strong reactions to what other people are going through. When your emotions come on strong, it’s easy to let them hijack your behaviour. The hard part is to channel your feelings into producing the behaviour that you want.

6.  You take criticism to heart.

Your strong feelings and intense emotional reactions can make criticism hard to take. Though you may overreact to criticism initially, you also have the tendency to think hard about things and explore them deeply. This exploration of criticism can play out well for you in the long run, as your inability to “shrug it off” helps you make the appropriate changes.

7.  You work well in a team situation.

Your unique ability to take other people’s feelings into account, weigh different aspects of multifaceted decisions, and pay attention to the smaller details makes you extremely valuable in a team environment. Although this can backfire if you’re the one that is tasked with making final decisions,  you’re better suited to offering input and analysis than you are to deciding whether or not to push the red button.

8.  You have great manners.

Your heightened awareness of the emotions of other people makes you highly conscientious. You pay close attention to how your behaviour affects other people and have the good manners to show for it. You also get particularly irked when other people are rude.

9.  Open offices/spaces drive you crazy.

Your sensitivity to other people, loud noises, and other stimuli makes it practically impossible for you to work effectively in an open-office environment. You’re better off in a cube or working from home.

10. You abhor violence and cruelty of any kind.

Everyone hates violence and cruelty, but for highly sensitive people, seeing or hearing about it can be extremely unsettling. You might be an HSP if you can’t watch very scary, gory, or violent movies without getting upset or even feeling physically ill. Similarly, you may not be able to stomach a news story about animal cruelty or similar brutal acts.

11.  You become emotionally exhausted by absorbing other people’s feelings.

Although highly sensitive people are not necessarily empaths, HSPs tend to “absorb” other people’s emotions, almost like an empath would. It’s not unusual for an HSP to walk into a room and immediately sense the mood of the people in it. Highly sensitive people are very aware of subtleties that others would likely miss ... such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. Paired with the HSPs high levels of empathy, HSPs feel emotions that are not their own. As a result, highly sensitive people tend to suffer from frequent emotional exhaustion.

12.  Time pressures rattle you.

When you have too many things on your to-do list and not enough time to finish them, you feel very stressed. HSPs are more sensitive to stimulation, and time pressure is no exception.

13.  You withdraw often.

Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you need plenty of downtime, preferably alone. You often find yourself withdrawing to a quiet, darkened room at the end of a long day.  This is to lower your stimulation level, soothe your senses and recharge.

14.  You’re jumpy.

When someone sneaks up on you, you jump like a frightened cat. Many HSPs have a high “startle reflex” because even in non-threatening situations, their nervous systems are dialled up.

15.  You think deeply.

The cornerstone of being an HSP is that you process information very deeply. This means you do a lot of reflecting on your past experiences — much more so than other people. This leads to you being more prone to negative thinking. Sometimes you obsessively play events over and over in your mind or spiral into anxious thoughts.

16.  You’re a seeker.

HSPs seek answers to the big questions in life. They ask why things are the way they are and what their role in all of it is. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may have always wondered why other people aren’t as captivated by the mysteries of human nature and the universe as you are.

17.  Sudden, loud noises startle you.

For example, a loud motorcycle suddenly roaring by your window may really shake you.

18.  Your clothing matters.

You’ve always been sensitive to what you wear. Scratchy fabric or any type of restrictive clothing  really irritates you. Non-HSPs may dislike these things too, but an HSP will carefully select their wardrobe to completely avoid them.

19.  Your pain tolerance tends to be lower than most others.

Many HSPs are more sensitive than non-HSPs to pain of all kinds - headaches, body aches, injuries, etc.

20.  You have quite an alive and present inner world.

Due to your deep thinking process, you have a rich inner world. As a child, you may have had several imaginary friends, enjoyed fantasy-based play, and were prone to daydreaming. As an adult, you may have vividly realistic dreams.

21.  Change is extremely upsetting.

HSPs take comfort in their routines, because the familiar is far less stimulating than something brand new. Therefore change  — both positive and negative — can really throw HSPs into a spin. Generally, HSPs need more time than others to adjust to change.

22.  Your environment can be your enemy.

Moving to a new home or travelling (even if for a vacation) can be quite difficult for you, because your senses are bombarded with too much new stimuli.

23.  You’re often misunderstood.

High sensitivity is often mislabelled. You may have been called “shy” or “anxious,” or had it implied that something was wrong with you. Many HSPs are labelled as introverts, because introverts and HSPs share many characteristics, including the need for lots of downtime. However 30 percent of HSPs are actually extroverts.

24.  You get "hangry" easily.

HSPs tend to be more sensitive to changes in blood sugar levels, so they may get quite “hangry” (hungry + angry) if they haven’t eaten in a while.

25.  Who needs stimulants?

When the nervous system is already ratcheted up to the highest level, who needs any more stimulus?  Some HSPs are highly sensitive to caffeine and need very little of it to feel its buzz. Likewise sensitivity to the effects of alcohol.

26.  Conflict is your poison.

When there’s tension or disagreement in your close relationships, you feel it deeply. Many HSPs even report feeling physically ill during conflict. As a result, some highly sensitive people become conflict-avoidant, doing or saying almost anything to keep the other person happy. It’s because conflict hurts so much.

27.  Criticism hurts .. a lot.

Words really matter to HSPs. Positive words can make them soar, but harsh words will send them crashing to the ground. Criticism can feel like a dagger, and negativity is toxic to the highly sensitive person’s finely-tuned system.

28.  You’re conscientious.

At work and in school, you try hard not to make mistakes. Although this doesn’t mean you’re perfect, you always giving things your best effort.

29.  You’re deeply moved by beauty.

Fine food, rich scents, beautiful artwork, or stirring music have a deep impact on you. You may find that music or certain sounds put you in a near trance-like state, or the way the wind catches the leaves in the autumn sunlight leaves you awestruck. You don’t understand how other people aren’t as moved by beauty as you are.

30.  You’re very perceptive.

Because you notice things that others often miss, you’re seen as perceptive and insightful. Even as a child, you may have been wise beyond your years. The world relies on highly sensitive people like you to make it a more compassionate and understanding place to be.

31.  You're uncomfortable in high stimulus situations.

You feel uncomfortable when exposed to bright lights, loud sounds, or certain strong scents.  You are also uncomfortable in large public crowds, in a room full of people talking, or when too many things are occurring simultaneously.

32.  It's very difficult for you to say “no” to requests.

Because you are afraid of hurting or offending someone, you often find yourself saying “yes” to things you'd rather not do, or had other plans which should have prevented you from agreeing.

33.  You regularly struggle with self care.

You often put off things ... taking proper breaks, exercising, adequate sleep, eating healthily, not skipping  meal, etc ... because you don’t have time right now. Because your sensitivity may extend to certain foods or physical maladies, it’s important for you to prioritize your health and make time for eating properly and exercising regularly.

34.  You are more prone to depression and anxiety than the average person.

I think it goes without saying that with all that emotion and 'feeling' going on within us, that we are typically more prone to periods of depression and high anxiety than the average person.

 

Thats quite a list aye?  Thanks for taking the time to read this, those of you who have.  Perhaps this list will help you to identify whether you too are a Highly Sensitive Person.  

 

Sherry 🌸

 

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

Thank you for your fantastic post, @Former-Member , much appreciated!

 

And the list is really great, thank you for compiling it - I haven't seen such a comprehensive list anywhere else. I could relate to all the points. I value that you re-posted it here. 

 

Many thanks. 🙂

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

I also want to say how much I appreciate the hard work that's gone into compiling your list of 34 HSP characteristics, @Former-Member ...you are obviously a very thorough researcher.

And also the effort that's gone into writing your post above. 🙂 Thank you. 

Re: Being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Mental Health

Good morning @NatureLover .  I wanted to stop by and check on you, as it seemed you were very quiet yesterday. Wasnt sure of best thread to catch you on, but thought here was pretty appropriate.

 

Anyway ... thinking of you my beautiful friend.

 

Emelia 🌸

 

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