No doubt about it @Former-Member I get grumpy and moody and am possible even emotionally explosive. Carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And its very much based around social aspects of my life. Or prospectives or attitudes im using. (Im thinking about creating a thread with enjoying time with others ) ive noticed that conversations get directed in certain directions with certain people. Time and time again. And ive noticed that quite often. I quote what someone said to me on the phone. "Feelings of isolation and wanting social contact " and again i quote "today's world is much more isolated then years ago" and i quote again from a book "whoever isolates himself pursues his own selfish desire he rejects all practical wisdom "

And so i go through this pros and cons analysis of going through with catching up with someone. (Usually me catching up with others ) Friends, family, church community, one of my social group meetings or members, neighbours, a person from the professional community. Etc. And with each source of social contact. I need to assume this character and be this person who wears a mask to suite the social dynamics of the situation. Blend in, try be accepted, try and understood, listen to the message. Have a good conversation. Help. Be helped. Support, care encourage. Enjoy my time with people. And without a doubt there comes a dilemma fuelled, dramatized, envious, jealous, covetous, and bad side to everything. They think it's me. I think it's them.

There also a good side to it. Distract myself for half an hour 45 mins. Have a drink of water or coffee. Talk. Relax get out of house. Tend to my social needs. But one too many times i been thinking. This is stuffed. Im getting socially screwed over here. And there not much i can do about it. Often in the afternoon times. You know. Bored and lonely.

So ive decided to spread my social network out over a large area. With varied different people. And open up as many options as possible. Ie. Meet new people. Do more activity based stuff with different and new people. And just hope that it broadens my horizons and opens up opportunity. It's slowly happening.

And sleep. I'm going to be getting as much sleep as possible from now on. So it helps.