Coming to terms with reality

[Appleblossom]

Sounds like a few good plans @eudemonism

[Former-Member]

it does sound as though your cup runneth over re your daily events

avoiding stress paramount for us all....needs constant reminding in my case. Always forgetting where I am on the list still...a work in progress...

I am in the throes of retiring now...current situation has exasperated my health too much now...so goodbye to paid work...will look into going back to volunteering next year

worked professionally previously...did not complete university though...can't reveal anymore for privacy reasons

I would love to write myself....on the list ...possibly one day...fiction though..

@Adek Skin specialist thumbs up...senile warts and moles!,,,apparently senile warts (large freckles ) appear at the age of 40...

@eudemonismpleased to read about your ideas....books.....order in at library?   Good idea...I do that too......all the best with giving up the cigarettes...very hard...so be kind to yourself...reducing gradually is a good outcome to start with too...my husband has been trying for over 15 months....he has cut right back which is better than nothing...especially health wise.....

[eudemonism]

I think cynicism and realism are two completely different things. I'm not saying i ain't practiced both at some stage or another. But they're definitely different. I've had a tough old journey through life so far. For many different reasons... and it probably aint going to get any easier any time soon.

I got a few things that make it somewhat easier.

[Appleblossom]

That is such a true distinction @eudemonism I wholeheartedly agree.

[Former-Member]

@eudemonism

cynicism and realism are totally different...quite right

I feel as though my responding on here gets under your skin now for some reason

I can honestly say to you....hand on heart....I have always tried to consider your feelings...your pain....

If you knew me personally you would know that I am the last person on earth to ever want to hurt someone's feelings....in fact this has come at a cost to me......

I can be cynical in my attitude towards large corporations...part of the medical system....sincerity of some people who work in those areas.....I have been badly burnt by them

I do not want to upset you or cause you any further pain....

Would you prefer that I stop writing on this thread?......If this makes you more at ease I will do this for you...I sincerely want you to continue using this thread for yourself....if that means my leaving ...so be it..

[eudemonism]

Nah keep writing @Former-Member im honestly not bothered. Im just upset that my life is what it is. Because of the world and the people around me. Like in the flesh. In the psychical. Day to day stuff.

[eudemonism]

I get stuck and caught up on. Hurtful things people have done. And hurtful things that are happening tp me. Which i am pretty much out of control of. And cannot do anything about. Being used is one of them. Committing to helping people through social supporting them is another. And it drains me of vital energy. When it's happening and also in my private time. And it can sometimes seem like i have no other options for things to do. Apart from feed the energy vampires in my life.

[Former-Member]

thank you so much @eudemonism

I believe you when you say how hard your life is and hence I wanted to make sure that I wasn't just making it worse for you.

keep on writing....I know when I write it does help me...I am not in a good place at the moment....anxiety high...depression hanging around.. lurking in the background...

writing out my thoughts and responding to others helps me too

your taking the time to write back what you did has helped me immensely...thank you..confirms that you are a caring considerate person

dealing with day to day stuff is the absolute pits sometimes....

when I have to spend time with family whom I don't like I tell myself that I am doing it for my husband and myself not them. It is what it is and the time will pass. All they have to do is respect me.

I don't think that you are referring to family....whoever the people are they need to know what you will and won't tolerate......called setting boundaries....hard to do at times but part of being kind to ourselves

hope that you get to read some of those books that you wrote about earlier

thank you again

[Former-Member]

@eudemonism

just read your last response

odd because what I have already written is about exactly that

we will not let people take us for granted....we will be there to help but not at our own expense....if they disrespect us we have every right as human beings to tell them so and set boundaries. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to people like that. They are leeches.

Be kind to you

[eudemonism]

No doubt about it @Former-Member I get grumpy and moody and am possible even emotionally explosive. Carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And its very much based around social aspects of my life. Or prospectives or attitudes im using. (Im thinking about creating a thread with enjoying time with others ) ive noticed that conversations get directed in certain directions with certain people. Time and time again. And ive noticed that quite often. I quote what someone said to me on the phone. "Feelings of isolation and wanting social contact " and again i quote "today's world is much more isolated then years ago" and i quote again from a book "whoever isolates himself pursues his own selfish desire he rejects all practical wisdom "

And so i go through this pros and cons analysis of going through with catching up with someone. (Usually me catching up with others ) Friends, family, church community, one of my social group meetings or members, neighbours, a person from the professional community. Etc. And with each source of social contact. I need to assume this character and be this person who wears a mask to suite the social dynamics of the situation. Blend in, try be accepted, try and understood, listen to the message. Have a good conversation. Help. Be helped. Support, care encourage. Enjoy my time with people. And without a doubt there comes a dilemma fuelled, dramatized, envious, jealous, covetous, and bad side to everything. They think it's me. I think it's them.

There also a good side to it. Distract myself for half an hour 45 mins. Have a drink of water or coffee. Talk. Relax get out of house. Tend to my social needs. But one too many times i been thinking. This is stuffed. Im getting socially screwed over here. And there not much i can do about it. Often in the afternoon times. You know. Bored and lonely.

So ive decided to spread my social network out over a large area. With varied different people. And open up as many options as possible. Ie. Meet new people. Do more activity based stuff with different and new people. And just hope that it broadens my horizons and opens up opportunity. It's slowly happening.

And sleep. I'm going to be getting as much sleep as possible from now on. So it helps.