Lived Experience Forum

[Scream58]

In the course of trying to prepare myself mentally for what I knew was going to be a tough therapy session on Monday I managed to hurt my best friend by not being there when she needed me. She says it was like talking to a stranger on our last phone call and I didn't acknowledge her birthday. I feel so cruel and selfish but I don't know how to explain it to her without sounding even more like it's all about me. 

I remember collecting photos for a collage to send for her birthday but something must have distracted me and I didn't send it.  I have no idea how to fix this.

[Paperdaisy]

@Scream58 Sometimes we have to care for ourselves before we can care for others. If you're having trouble explaining the situation to your friend could you write it down and type it out to them in an email or something? I'm sure they would appreciate to hear from you 💝

[Scream58]

@Paperdaisy I did send her a long message and we talked on the phone. There were lots of tears. I also didn't realize I hadn't told her what the plan was for the therapy session. 

She also suffers from depression. We both go into shutdown when processing. We managed to synchronize our shutdowns this time. I'm still feeling really horrible tonight and am struggling with self harm thoughts. Trying to practice grounding techniques but it's really hard to focus.

[holdinghope5]

Dear @Scream58 ,

I acknowledge how challenging this time must be for you.

I encourage you to reach out crisis services if you feel the need to:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 

If in immediate danger: 000 

Kindest,

holdinghope5

[Appleblossom]

@Scream58 Your collage idea is still a good idea.  I am not good with elapsed time.

[Sambo]

Hey @Scream58  

Just wanted to quickly wish you well. I hope you have a good day today 🙂 

It’s important to note that, although you feel like you’re being selfish, you aren’t. It’s a negative view you have due to low self esteem. 
You must nurture and encourage yourself 😇

Sending Love 

[Scream58]

I had an absolutely awful night last night. 

All night anxiety and very little sleep. I think the combination of a tough therapy session and the disagreement with my friend put me into overload.

Today was a bit better.

I got a message that two family members that I visited on Monday have tested positive to COVID. I took a test and was negative. I'm not classed as a close contact so avoid ISO. 

Just hoping they are ok as one is a chronic asthmatic. 🤞