Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

@Daisydreamer I know that question was for @HappyCastle but I would like to add my repy.

Some of the boundaries I have with supporting others are knowing my own limitations, my own knowledge of specific MIs and my own triggers. Sometimes it is about knowing what we cannot deal with as much as it is what we can.

[Former-Member]

I think, believe that you have to be yourself not try to be like everyone else and say a set speil. The more you hear this the less likely you are to listen and it losers it's effect.  I always try to be honest. I have to be able to live with myself after and to know I did my best at that time. 

[Former-Member]

I agree 100% @Zoe7 

[TideisTurning]

I couldn't resist jumping in for this one. My tips with providing peer support are: 

1. heavy on the 'I' statements- I've found this helps me emphasise that what I'm talking about is my experience 
2. connecting to the emotion, because I find for me that even if the specific experience differs from my own, there's usually a feeling beneath it that I can connect with 
3. know my limits, because some days for whatever reason, I may not have capacity to provide support as effectively as I might do, and that's ok. Also to reach out for extra support for myself if needed in those moments 

Hi @Shaz51 😊👋

[HappyCastle]

Q4: What are some of the boundaries we need to think about when supporting others?

Because peer support is all about that shared experience, we are opening ourselves up to be empathetic and vulnerable. And that can be really hard. I know I mentioned it before, but making sure that we keep ourselves safe while we are doing that is so important and that's why I think boundaries are important too. 

For me, it would be arond knowing how much of your story and how much of yourself you are willing to give. Also, having boundaries around how much you are willing to take on of other peoples stories so we can take care of ourselves as well! 💙

[Daisydreamer]

My top tips for peer support:

1. Listening openly, and without judgement is so important. Our journey and our stories will be different, and by being open to new perspectives we can learn and grow together

2. Remember that your story has power: What you have learnt from your experiences can be helpful to others, as other's stories can be helpful for you. I learn something every day on the forums from reading stories and experiences. Be courageous and share your story- it may be a turning point, hold hope or demonstrate new strategies for others you are connecting with

3. Sometimes a simple "I hear you" "I'm sitting with you" "I am here when you need me" can go along way. I've learnt that I don't always have a response, but I can acknowledge the supportive space we are sitting in

[Daisydreamer]

Being your honest, authentic self is a great top tip @Former-Member One of the fastest ways to build deep connections with peers

[Former-Member]

@TideisTurning I really love your second point! "Connecting to the emotion, because I find for me that even if the specific experience differs from my own, there's usually a feeling beneath it that I can connect with"

[Daisydreamer]

Q5 for everyone here tonight: 

How do we look after ourselves when supporting others?

Do you have an example of self care that you do when you are supporting others?

[Zoe7]

One of mine is time @HappyCastle - that is two-fold ...how much time I can give to others whilst also caring for myself and also being in the right headspace to give of time freely to support someone for the whole journey. Part of that is often 'choosing' (for want of a better word) the time I can actually give when supporting someone and evaluating if that support can be given freely for the journey or if - for my own personal reasons - I cannot do that.