Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jane4]

Are you allowed to post where the Unit is? I like the sound of the holistic program.

[Jo]

Sorry I got cut off. Internet Explorer stopped working. Have managed to come on again via Google Chrome. Yes, that behaviour that is selfish is so frustrating. It's as if they are so self absorbed there is nobody else in the world but them. Does your son go through periods of being more thoughtful towards others? In between the periods of mania and depression? 

[Jo]

Fantastic list, Heartworks. Thanks so much for sharing. 

[NikNik]

@Mama_Penguin - I think Jo's question is directed to you.

[Heartworks]

Pleasure! 🙂

[Mama_Penguin]

Thanks @NikNik - that's our dilemma exactly! What is typical teenage behaviour, what is his illness and what level of boundaries should we try to maintain (enforce is too strong a word and we don't have a hope of enforcing anything!!!). But yes, we try to be flexible and yes, he is very clear about our expectations. As I told him today, we'd be doing him a disservice if we didn't expect these basic things from him. Part of our job is trying to guide him towards being a functioning, independent person living with bipolar - and not letting the bipolar rule his life.

[Jo]

Jane4, is there any chance of your son allowing you to handle his finances for him?

[NikNik]

Well said @Mama_Penguin - about doing him a disservice. I think it's lovely you shared that with him - I think it shows you want what's best for him, rather than just being a frustrated mum 🙂

I know some carers attend appointments with the person they care for. Maybe you could discuss this with you son and his treating team together, if you haven't already?

[Jo]

Mistakes in initial diagnoses are unfortunately quite common. I agree that it would be wise to seek a second opinion. 

[Mama_Penguin]

Exactly @Jane4! Can I ask how old your son is? As frustrating as it is at times, and no matter how selfish they seem to be, I don't think we can just leave them to sort it out. They need our support and guidance and we just need to be ready for when they're willing to accept it! Also, it must be really hard for you if its affecting your marriage. The only reason I get through tough times is because my husband and I are on the same page.