Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi all reading, I just want to vent and get a perspective of what I should do… cause at the end I guess I just want somebody to blame shall something go wrong lol. I know I have MH issues but with things going sour in my life at the moment I just want to know would you want to retaliate?…. I’m stuck with the option of taking it as meh life throws sh*t at you or would you want to fight, rhetoric, at the things not going right. I want a job and happiness but to get to that I have to face these dilemmas. I’ve figured out recently I’m an empath which has its own debacles but I’m thinking of reigniting a lost flame “the boys” gets at me and has me thinking it could fix the bullying woes but I guess I should handle these things myself I’ve found out that standing up for myself is tiring, but does that mean I’ll survive with “the boys”. The last year I’ve been doing it on my own and when without them I feel too many problems have come my way, but there are problems when I’m with them too - which has me thinking I’m not built that way, cause I want to fight the good fight, but most of “the boys” are contempt on being bad which gets me doing things I don’t want to do. So the question here for anyone with life experience is which road do I take? Do I go down the road with bullying where I get tired fighting for myself or choose to empower myself with “the boys” where I’ll probably keep doing stuff I don’t want to do. Being an empath I absorb other peoples energy which is difficult in quick making decisions. Sometimes I seem too vulnerable and easily manipulated but I pick up on these things. I think I need the support of the community with previous experience in what would be the right decision to make. I know “the boys” will have my back in these situations but weighting up the options of whether it’s too much for my mental health vs. being bullied by nerds so to say is worth anything… I’m feeling I have to stand up for myself and love myself more is an option at this point. Why is making a decision so hard? Maybe cause it’ll impact my life for the next couple of years…. I dunno, I wish I could see the future and that’ll help me make the decisions I need to make,  being young was easy now adulting has amplified the complexity of my situation. What are your thoughts? I don’t know what or how much I can handle, but a lot by me still being here after much abuse 

[Owen45]

Thanks for sharing your story. 

[AussieRecharger]

@Former-Member 

I don't quite understand the situation, but would i advise you to go back to a place where you don't feel comfortable?...

The answer is no.

Would i advise you to stay in limbo?  Still No, 

So what else can you tell me about your situation? 

Are you safe? Do you have access to housing, and now that you know you are an empath, would you be willing to study fields that are likely to use those skills to give you a chance at a fulfilling outcome in life?

What do you mean "the boys"?  Are you talking about an ex and his friends?

[Lou2u]

@Former-Member I also appreciate your Share I do hope your OK and really want to remind you that you have a choice my Peer taught me 

Do what I need to do 

Say what I need to say

and deal with what I need to deal with

What helped me was moving away from a place of me me me now now now gimmie gimmie gimmie more more more to self dignity respect and a decision to try and practice loving kindness and compassion in all that I do and doing the best I can with what I have at the time to whatever degree possible 

IF I play with "The Boys" I become a manboy I dont take responsibility for my actions I dont respect myself or anyone else and I chase my tail for my next feelgood I must admit ive never got a good return or felt good about myself rolling this way basically selling out 23hours of my day for about 20 - 45 minutes of having what I thought was fun and getting what I wanted often at the expense of others once again not a formula that has worked beyond a day or 2 for me

I came to learn through hanging around others that seemed to have something about themselves that I found positive and appealing that the quality of the people you hang around really does matter So if you wanna feel good hang around good people they rub off on me in a positive way they motivate me they inspire me they teach me they make me laugh they support me ............... it just works!

I guess what Im trying to say is find your tribe! 🙂

And yeah I get it........... it can be hard to start fresh but hey what an opportunity because you get to decide pick and choose hunt for, grow and, develop your peeps! your community!............ its the social  connectedness that really helps people like me kick on it might be useful for yourself????

So i hunt for positive 'stuff' I force myself to hang out with like minded groups of people that I relate to in a positive way, I humble myself and be open to learning and growing and doing some of the paddle work upstream

N a day at a time things get better they still do lifes better today!

For me that is..................it can be the same for you also! 🙂 

[Former-Member]

Yesterday was just writing out a situation in my head to overcome the troubles I’ve been facing recently @AussieRecharger … I have a group of friends but I don’t feel their really friends so at one point “the boys” ie a group of boys pretty much whom I left for a good group of people, didn’t really seem so good I guess, maybe getting used to my illness, need to talk it out with my psych I suppose - and see where it leads.

yeah I’m safe sorry for not putting that up, I’ve felt like everything was under control, but recently it hasn’t been - due to certain circumstances happening in my life, they say the first 5 years are the hardest and I can see why, but I guess I’m still finding my feet, and at my age most people figure stuff out, but I guess I just need to focus on my self. I guess what it boils down to is managing myself in a work environment, social aspects, family life and general public… just gotta tap in to a higher power to get through this - the last week or so has been tough, so tough, but o have found some light and am safe. Never really been bullied before maybe one situation or 2, but this past month or so that’s skyrocketed to like 10. Still small when you write it down I suppose, just gotta take better care of myself, and focus on what I need to. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks for your share @Lou2u @yeah, I just haven’t been myself lately due to outside influence, though I stood up for myself in most situations it still had a tax on my self esteem. 

im trying to focus on improving my situation to be honest, and not making excuses for myself, though I was reverting back to what I know - to get over what I’m facing. I do have other avenues open, but fairly pessimistic about how they will pan out. Though I’m trying to be real with myself and stay positive where I can….

im just hoping for when things do finally work out I guess and find myself…

[MDT]

Hey @Former-Member

What is "the boys"?
By which I mean, what is it you? Is it safety? Is it familiarity? Is it a haven from the humdrum? Is it escapism. I know what you mean though. I sort of had that in my earlier 20s. But I found I grew away from them because they were interested in different things. I chose to branch out and I met some good people in other aspects pf life but then that changes too. There are always seasons of change.

I can empathise with your situation atm. I am at a cross roads.

I had a panic attack yesterday and still feeling it.

Sometimes I think there comes a point where the old order of things (friends, work, contacts, influences) are at an expiry date.

I had this experience during lockdown maybe.

I'm not so sure I have the answer dude. But I know exactly what it is you speak to.

[Former-Member]

Yeah @MDT you changed your name lol… I have ruminating thoughts they just go around in circles and now I know it’s part of my illness. Not too bad I guess could be worse, but medication usually helps. Thought I might go the the psych earlier instead of going back to bad habits or acquaintances. 

hope your situation improves as do mine. So far 2022s been sh9t but what can you do but hope for a better tomorrow 

[MDT]

Agreed re 2022
@Former-Member

Yesterday I realised I needed to be better to myself introspectively

Also too I have realised that in life there are many games and some of them are lose lose or lose draw... in other words one you never win unless you seek to play dirty.

Perhaps these troubled times have a silver lining - enabling us to be introspective and give ourselves some time to ourselves.

You're a wise man my friend and I am always indebted to you for your sharing of your life experience

[Former-Member]

Lol thanks @MDT seems you have a good head on your shoulders too