Lived Experience Forum

[AussieRecharger]

Hi @Eden1919 

Lots of replies here.. but I just wanted to say that i hope you are being kind to yourself and accepting that you are who you are. Sometimes we can really want things to be different, and that wanting can make things harder as it gets in the way of us accepting ourselves for who we are. 

Good luck.. Judging by the comments, you have lots of support around here. 

[hanami]

Hi @Eden1919 

So sorry to hear this. Treatment orders/tribunals etc are very full on for most people. I used to be a peer worker in Community Mental Health and advocate for our clients at their tribunals. I'm wondering if they can offer you a peer worker to help advocate for you? 

Sending hugs

hanami

[Eden1919]

Thanks again everyone, @greenpea  yes it is always good to stay out of hospital, hospital is terrible. 

@Krishna I hope I never have ECT that is something that is not for me but I am glad your daughter is doing ok now. 

@hanami no there is no peer advocate. 

at this stage I am still not sure if I am going to go to the tribunal hearing or not I feel very conflicted. I guess we will see when they tell me more. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hearing you and hugs @Eden1919 

[Eden1919]

@BPDSurvivor  Thanks 

ugh I can’t take the side effects of these meds anymore I am done I am not taking them anymore I can’t do it anymore my body can’t do it anymore I won’t I am done. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @Eden1919 , maybe it’s good to speak to your treating team or a doctor before getting off your meds. It can do more harm than good if you just stop them.

I hear they are painful and they have side effects, but I fear that your other option is a CTO and hospital. 

I care about you and I couldn’t see you go through that again. It was worrying when you posted in the past with so much fear. I wanted to help you but I didn’t know how.

Please take care @Eden1919 . 

[Eden1919]

@BPDSurvivor  I don’t want to talk to the doctor not after what they have done. 

I am so angry I got some random phone call this afternoon asking me if I am going to my hearing on Friday ….. my WHAT????? Nobody told me I had a hearing on Friday I didn’t get anything in the mail I haven’t had a chance to get legal aid they haven’t given me the report saying why they want me on an order specifically so I have no idea what I am supposed to be arguing against I called my case manager who was away today so I couldn’t even ask them what was going on and oh would you look at that it is a freaking public holiday tomorrow so that means no case manager again and no legal aid because they aren’t working and Friday is too freaking late to ask for someone then because that is the day of the freaking hearing that nobody freaking told me about. It is like they never wanted me to attend the hearing to begin with like they were never planning to tell me so that I wouldn’t show up and argue against it well fuck them idk how they can even go ahead with the hearing when my legal rights haven’t been upheld but nobody seems to care about those now do they ugh I want to scream I am so so so so so so so so ANGRY well fuck them and fuck this they can get screwed if they think I am doing anything they say including taking their stupid ducking medication. 

[KenMathers]

If I were in your position and that which you posted is 100 percent accurate, I'd be ringing the lifeline crisis support number 131114.

Those circumstances are not reasonable.

You obviously need assistance and are entitled to have some representation. Is there anyone who is prepared to attend with you? I do mean anyone.

It's most important that you do not give up or give in and there are many agencies that are willing to help. Keep as calm as you can and hold your temper (you do seem as though you are doing so) and you will get help.

I don't know you and I don't know anything about your history or nearly anything about your situation but from what you have written I can say that it doesn't seem reasonable.

I've been through the wringer myself and through the system, and I have been able to assist friends of mine in difficult mental health situations. If I could talk to you directly I would. I can see you have supporters here so reach out (like you have been) and you will get help.

[BPDSurvivor]

Oh dear @Eden1919 , That’s terrible! Didn’t seem right or fair!

 What ended up happening? Did you go to the tribunal?

 Please don’t give up @Eden1919 . 

[Eden1919]

@KenMathers  thank you for your reply but lifeline cannot help me in this situation and i am not currently sure how to contact the right branch of legal aid but i need to do some more digging on that.

@BPDSurvivor so they ended up moving the tribunal to possibly this week but again no one has told me its new date so i dont know what is happening but they moved it because my case manager realised that she had ignored my legal rights by not sending me any information and so she asked them to move the hearing. 

I am not happy for a number of reasons so my case manager dropped off the paper work she was meant to give me this morning but i have only had a chance to read it now and it is horrible they want to put me on an order for 12 MONTHS that is a whole freaking year at this rate i am never getting off these stupid injections plus they said all this terrible stuff about me this isnt right but idk how i am going to prove it because it is my word against them and according to them i am the crazy one so who is going to believe me ugh i just i am so exhausted after last week and now i have to do it all again and idk if i am going to even go to the hearing not that i know when it is but i just feel like i dont want to hear them talk about me like that. and i have to figure out how to call legal aid to find out if they will even help me cause last time i had them they didnt do anything to help.